


Scattered to the Winds

by codenametargeter



Series: We Rise and We Fall and We Break [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family Problems, Family Secrets, Hux is still not terribly nice, Hux's first name is Brendol in this, Leia Organa is still better than you, Light Side AU, M/M, Mostly Bloodline compliant, Original Characters - Freeform, The Skywalker Genes bred true with Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:18:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenametargeter/pseuds/codenametargeter
Summary: When the New Republic refused to take the First Order seriously as a threat, Hux resigned his commission and joined the Resistance.  Now he and Ben Organa Solo are continuing their fight against the First Order under the direct orders of General Leia Organa but family secrets can't remain hidden forever...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It took a little time but here we finally go with the sequel! We may be starting a little slow but I promise we'll get back to normal next chapter. :) Thanks again to everyone who read the first fic and hopefully you'll enjoy this one too!

Joining the Resistance hadn't made Hux's life more exciting. It had kept it essentially the same except now he wore a uniform that he was less than impressed by and they did a lot of waiting around in a secret base instead of an openly known one. Nothing was different except that this group happened to be the one that recognized the threat of the First Order. That, he supposed, was a clear bonus.

Even his first week with the Resistance had gone much akin to his first within the New Republic. He'd known where he'd stood within the New Republic's military but he’d been less certain where he stood with the Resistance even with the backing of both Leia and Tycho. It hadn't taken long to hear the question he expected to hear another dozen times. 

Major Ematt had been the first to bluntly state the issue at the first strategy mission Hux attended. "Look, I don't mean to second guess you or Celchu but how do we know we can trust him? He's from the First Order and his father's one of their leaders. I know you're a good judge of character, Leia, but how can we be sure that he's not a deep cover spy for them?" 

Ben's reaction had been predictable and he'd leapt halfway out of his seat with anger in his dark eyes before anyone else could do so much as blink. "How dare you--" 

A moment behind, Hux had reached for Ben's shoulder, pulling him back down or at least trying to. His boyfriend was a solid mass of muscle. One more firm tug got him to sit back down in his chair again, still glowering. Hux’d waited a beat before removing his hand and turning his attention back to the white haired soldier. "Major, while I understand your concerns, let me assure you that they are unfounded. If you put my father in front of me, a blaster in my hand, and ordered me to shoot the bastard, I'd do it without a moment's hesitation." 

That had seemed to shock Ematt and it had taken him a moment to recover. "Well I'm sure it wouldn't come to that." 

"The point," he'd continued, tone even, "is that I harbor no loyalties to the First Order or to my father."

A faint yet amused smile had appeared on Leia's face. "Are we good now, Caluan?"

"Yes ma'am," the major had replied, sitting back in his seat.

Oddly enough, having a boyfriend who was ready to punch people for him at the drop of a hat was comforting. Hux had let Ben know exactly how appreciative he was after the meeting by pulling him into an unused corner of the hanger bay, pushing him against the wall, and kissing him hard. 

Aside from that, Hux was borderline bored. He and Ben had taken a leisurely two weeks on Hosnian Prime before he’d finally convinced the Jedi that they needed to be with the Resistance and that he was just fine with heading there without him. Ben had grumbled but joined him anyways and there they’d been for the last four months. At least Ben seemed happy with his days that consisted of training, the occasional meeting, and (more often than not) sex. 

Hux’s days mostly consisted of taking orders from Leia. Technically, he spent the vast majority of his time combing through intelligence reports for any hints of the First Order’s potential next move but he’d also found himself at the General’s beck and call. He didn’t mind. It made him feel useful in a way that he hadn’t felt since leaving his command behind. The other option was complete and utter boredom. 

“Hux,” Leia called him over one day with a wave of a hand. His expression didn’t change as he took in the dark haired pilot standing beside her in the deplorable orange flight suit. “I’m glad you’re still here. I want you to meet our best pilot.” 

The pilot flashed him a charming smile that seemed to be second nature to him. “The General’s just being polite. I’m Poe Dameron, nice to meet you.” 

“Hux,” he replied, firmly shaking the other man’s hand. “And likewise.” 

“Poe resigned his commission about two months after you did,” Leia continued. “The New Republic still isn’t taking the First Order as a credible threat.” 

“How shocking,” Hux drawled before raising an eyebrow at Dameron. “What’d you do?” 

“Tangled with about two dozen of their TIEs. Didn’t really care for the inaction.” 

“That’s a sentiment I can certainly understand.” 

“I don’t need to ask what you did,” Dameron said with a grin. 

Hux suppressed a groan. “That was not how I wanted to make a name for myself amongst the fleet.” 

The pilot clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s not a bad thing, buddy. It’s actually helped my recruiting efforts.” 

Fourteen years in the New Republic and Hux still wasn’t used to how casual some people could be especially amongst the Resistance. Somehow, he managed a tight smile. “Glad to be of assistance then.” 

Leia was watching them with a satisfied smile that Hux absolutely knew was trouble at this point. “Poe’s also been collecting intelligence for us along his travels. Hux, I’d like you to review it for the usual.” 

“Of course, ma’am.” 

“I’ll have Snap and Meli pull everything together and send it your way,” Dameron said, already tapping orders into his datapad. “You should come by and meet my pilots when you have a chance. It’s a down day for us if you’re not busy.”   

He nodded noncommittally even as mischief appeared in Leia’s eyes. “Why don’t you go now, Hux? There’s not much else going on today.” 

“As the General commands,” Hux said with a straight face before nodding at the pilot. “Lead the way, Commander.” 

Dameron waited until they were out of earshot before saying, “When she says jump, we’re all in the air before we can even think, huh?” 

“That’s one way to put it,” he said dryly before catching sight of the other man’s expression and hastening to clarify. “I have nothing but respect and admiration for General Organa but she can be… uhhh…” 

“I bet it’s different when you’re dating her son.” 

Hux felt his cheeks flush pink. “Does everyone on this base know about that?” 

Dameron shrugged and then grinned. “Ben’s not really subtle.” 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Hux muttered. “It’s a miracle I haven’t strangled him yet.” 

“It’s probably because General Organa wouldn’t be happy.” 

“Probably,” he agreed. 

Hux was surprised when they reached the pilot briefing room that appeared to also double as a lounge. He hadn’t even realized this was here and yet it looked so… lived in. Perhaps that was the pilot effect. He was equally surprised at the diversity amongst the pilots. Foolishly, he’d expected a bunch of young, idealistic flyboys and yet… he was fairly confident that at least three of the pilots were old enough to have fought with the Rebellion, something that Poe confirmed as he introduced some of them. 

“I was a kid when I flew at Jakku,” one of them said, a bearded and dark haired man named Snap Wexley. “And now I’m going to be the old man in this war.” 

Hux didn’t feel the need to mention that he’d been at Jakku too… albeit in a far different capacity. 

“Just one of the old men,” a Duro whose name he hadn’t caught said. 

A dark haired young woman chimed in with, “We appreciate the ancient war stories!” 

“Thanks, Jess,” Snap said dryly. Her only response was to give them a thumbs up from her seat. 

The camaraderie between them all was plainly evident; enough to remind Hux of his days aboard the _Adamant_. To an extent at least. A heartbeat later, he did a double take as a very familiar looking blonde walked in to the room, the arms of a flight suit knotted around her waist and a few datacards in hand.  She looked almost identical to his former intelligence specialist but there was no possible universe in which Liselle had given up intelligence analysis to become a pilot of all things. 

“This should be everything, Poe,” she said, handing the datacards to Poe who promptly passed them to Hux. Expression curious, she raised an eyebrow and extended a hand towards him. “You must be Major Hux?” 

“I am,” Hux confirmed, shoving the datacards in a pocket and firmly shaking her hand. “And I strongly suspect that I know your sister because you must be related to Liselle Afyon.” 

She smiled. “My twin. I’ve heard a lot about you, Major.” 

Hux winced. “Good things, I hope.” 

“A lot was probably an overstatement. Liselle doesn’t really talk much about work but yes, good things. She liked her time on the _Adamant._ I’m Meli, by the way. Meli Celchu.” 

The last name was enough to make him raise an eyebrow. “Any relation to the General?” 

“My father-in-law.” 

“Her bags were already packed by the time I came to recruit her,” Poe teased. 

Meli shrugged. “He’s not wrong. Cal and I were just waiting to see if he’d be of more use with the Republic or here in the Resistance; same as Tycho and Winter are doing now.” 

“This really is a family affair,” Hux murmured. 

The amused looks that both Meli and Poe gave him were identical. “You do know uhhh…” 

“That counts as you now too,” Poe finished for her. 

“Oh. Well. I suppose you have a point.” It was odd realization and hit him like a durasteel beam to the face. He’d left his family behind so long ago that he’d gotten used to thinking that he had no connections nor family ties here in the New Republic but by dating Ben…It was going to take a while before he’d be comfortable thinking that he had ties to one now even tangentially. He patted the pocket with the datacards. “I should go take a look at these.” 

“You’re welcome to stay,” Poe said, gesturing towards the more comfortable chairs the pilots had somehow managed to procure. 

Hux shrugged ever so slightly. “I prefer not to keep General Organa waiting.” 

Meli coughed ‘workaholic’ under her breath before smiling. “I’ll tell Lis you say hello the next time she gets around to sending a message.” 

The polite snark must have come standard issue with the flight suits. Or the genetics. 

~

“Pack a bag, we’re going.” 

Hux took his time, finishing reading the section he was on before setting his datapad aside and looking up. “Excuse me?” 

“Pack a bag!” Ben said impatiently.   “What? Was I not speaking Basic the first time?” 

“No, you lapsed into Shyriiwook.” 

“Hilarious. Why are you still sitting there?” 

“Because I’m busy, you have yet to say where we’re going, and I can’t leave simply because you say so.” 

The Jedi sighed dramatically. “We’re going on a supply run for the Resistance so yes you can leave simply because I say so.” 

“I have work to do here.” 

The datapad flew into his hand. “You’ve already looked at this file. It’s the one you were reading in bed yesterday morning.” 

“Clearly I had reason to look at it again.” 

“Whatever.” Ben grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his chair. “Look, we need to leave in a few hours so can you just pack already?” 

Hux dug his heels in. “I can’t leave without orders.” 

Throwing his hands in the air with exasperation, Ben tapped a few buttons and then waved the datapad in his face again. “See? Orders. Can we go now?” 

Retrieving his device, Hux scanned through the orders, which did in fact say that he was supposed to go with Ben on a supply run. “Why in the stars was this authorized?” 

“I volunteered us,” he said with a shrug. “It’s not like it was on the _Adamant_.” Hux flinched at the mention of his old ship. “I thought it could be fun… just you and me on a shuttle together for a few days… maybe we run into some pirates along the way and have to fight them off…” 

“We still have very different definitions of fun,” Hux grumbled, giving in. “What docking bay?” 

“All in the orders,” Ben said with a wink before disappearing out the door, yelling his next words. “Two hours, Hux!” 

As loath as Hux was to admit it, Ben might have had a point. It was a three-day journey through hyperspace from the base out to some Mid Rim planet. By normal standards, it should have been a boring trip but Hux actually found himself enjoying the nothingness of space. They had time together back on the base but he could never quite shake the feeling that he needed to be doing other work. Here though… on this ship whose name he didn’t deem worth remembering, that all seemed to fade away. It seemed so perfectly reasonable to spend hours with Ben in the cockpit, straddling him and kissing him slowly and thoroughly as the glow of hyperspace swirled around them. 

They were both equally regretful when it came time to pull the ship out of hyperspace. 

“Where are we meeting this smuggler?” Hux asked, stretching his neck as they walked on solid ground again. 

“On his ship,” Ben said distractedly. “In Docking Bay… here!”

Hux grasped his wrist behind his back as he followed him and frowned as he took in the light freighter that had been old before he’d even been born. “I’m surprised that thing even flies. What is it? A YT-2400?” 

“A YT-1300.” Ben almost sounded offended that Hux didn’t immediately recognize some ancient Corellian design. “Uhhh Hux so there’s probably something I should’ve told you…” 

“Ben!” 

Hux’s eyes narrowed as the ship’s captain strolled towards them. “Is that…” 

Ben smiled sheepishly. “Yeah.” He bounded across the hanger bay, long legs covering the ground in mere seconds. “Dad!” 

Han Solo grinned broadly as he greeted his only son with a backslapping hug. “I thought your mother was joking when she said you were making this run.” 

“Since when does Mom joke?” 

“Hey, you’d be surprised.” 

Hux hung back, telling himself it was because he didn’t want to intrude and definitely not because the sight of loving fathers and sons made him vaguely uncomfortable. 

Ben was still grinning when they broke apart and he waved Hux over. “Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend Hux.” 

Those words still felt odd to hear in that order coming from the younger man’s mouth. Feeling the weight of the famous smuggler’s stare upon him, Hux raised his chin a fraction of an inch and extended his hand. “Captain Solo, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

Han shook his hand firmly, still giving him that appraising look. “You too. I didn’t know Ben was seeing anyone.” 

“Well now you do,” Ben broke in impatiently. “Where’s Chewie? I thought he was supposed to come with you.”

“He had some family business come up back on Kashyyyk,” Han said. “What? You think I can’t handle a little supply run?”

“You’re semi-retired so yeah maybe.”

The old smuggler gave his son a good-natured shove towards the _Falcon’s_ boarding ramp. “Go get the damn cargo off my ship.” Laughing, Ben disappeared into the freighter, which unfortunately left Hux standing alone with the infamous smuggler-hero. They stood there, sizing each other up for a few minutes. Han cleared his throat. “So that accent… you from Coruscant?” 

“Arkanis,” Hux corrected.

“Huh.” Han’s expression was unreadable. “Military?”

“Yes. No. That depends.” Han raised an eyebrow and Hux felt himself flush. “I was with the New Republic’s navy for over a decade but I resigned my commission and joined the Resistance.”

“That counts as military, kid,” Han said, fixing him with a stare. “You the one he ran that mission with last year?” Hux nodded. “Huh.” 

That bemused little sound he kept making was starting to drive Hux insane. He was grateful when Ben reappeared. “Dad, that’s seriously what you made us come out here to get?” 

Han spread his hands wide. “Hey there’s a race next week. I didn’t have time to get to your base and back before my team takes off.” Ben rolled his eyes. “And hey! I haven’t seen you in a year.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Ben muttered under his breath, almost too quiet for Hux to catch. “Come on. Can we just move this already?” 

“Sure, sure,” Han said, waving off his son’s attitude like he’d done it many a time before. 

If one had asked Hux twenty years ago if he ever thought he’d be sitting at a table in a cantina with Han Solo and Han Solo’s son, he would’ve said they were insane and yet that was exactly where he now was. It was odd to say the least and Hux decided to cope by drinking his ale more quickly than he otherwise would. With the ale’s help, he managed to force himself to relax by the barest fraction. It was beyond strange to him that he could get a better read on a career politician than he could this grouchy old smuggler. 

He was just returning back to the table with another round when something told him to stop just within earshot but still out of sight. 

“—saw her, you know,” Ben was saying, “And with Uncle Luke gone—” 

“Your mom and I have always done this,” Han interrupted. “She knows I’ll be there if she calls.” 

“She shouldn’t have to. We’re fighting a war.” 

“No, you’re fighting whatever the hell it is that comes before a war.” Ben glared and Han sighed. “Kid, I’ve been kicking around this galaxy a lot longer than you. It’s not a war yet and even if it was, I don’t want to get involved.” 

“Even after everything I told you about what Hux and I found?” 

“Yeah, even then.” There was a pause. “Does your boyfriend know?” 

“Know what?” There was another pause. “Oh. No.” 

“Ben…” 

“Dad, it’s fine. Aren’t we supposed to be talking about you and Mom?” 

It was at that point that Hux determined that he definitely did not want to get caught eavesdropping despite his curiosity. He stepped into sight, the three fresh drinks balanced in his hands. Immediately, the two Solo men switched the conversation to something else. Hux found it mildly impressive. 

He spent the rest of their time in port feeling ill at ease from a combination of Han’s unimpressed attitude towards him and the sinking feeling that Ben might be hiding something significant from him. The feeling lingered even after they’d bid Han Solo farewell and were safely in hyperspace on their way back to D’Qar. Ben glanced over at him as he pulled his gloves off and dropped them on the console. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Hux kept his tone even. “I’m just considering these latest reports.” 

“Liar,” Ben said bluntly. “There’s something wrong. I can feel it.” 

“Perhaps your Force needs to be recalibrated.” 

With a wave of his hand, he spun Hux’s chair around to face him. “Come on. Don’t make me tease it out of you later.” 

The corners of his lips curled down. “You could try but I’m not sure you would be successful.” 

“Huuuuux!” Ben made a face. “Is this about my Dad?” Hux thought he kept his face perfectly still but apparently something betrayed him. “It is! So what is it?” 

It wasn’t quite but Hux was grudgingly satisfied to let him think so. He didn’t say anything for a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase it. “I… do not think your father particularly cares for me.” 

Ben shrugged. “That’s Dad’s whole thing. He does this whole prickly exterior thing so no one will bother him. I wouldn’t take it personally.” 

“He’s your father. It’s hard not to,” he said, realizing that he did. “I would’ve thought your mother would have been harder to win over.” 

“I didn’t.” 

Hux frowned. “Why?” 

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Ben looked away. “Honestly?” 

“Have you ever known me to not prefer the truth?” 

“He thinks you’re too uhhh Imperial.” 

“Imperial,” Hux repeated flatly. 

“Yeah.” 

“What in the stars is that supposed to mean?” 

Ben met his eyes again. “Have you heard yourself talk, babe?” 

“Of course!” 

“Your accent is like right off Coruscant forty years ago.” 

“I am not…!” Hux huffed and folded his arms across his chest, making Ben snicker. “I have no control over my accent!” 

“That stick up your ass probably doesn’t help.” 

Making a rude gesture, Hux got up and left the cockpit, the sound of Ben’s laughter following him. Everything had been far easier when he hadn’t cared. This is why he’d always thought of sentiment as being a weakness. 

The universe didn’t leave him much time to sulk. A holocom call reached them as they were calculating their next jump a day into their return flight. The screen resolved into the scratchy image of young dark blonde haired woman. “Major Hux. Good, we got through.” 

“We were just plotting the next hyperspace jump,” Hux replied, gesturing just out of frame for Ben to come join him. 

“Don’t,” Lieutenant Connix said quickly. “We need you to reroute to Kalarba and extract one of our agents.” 

“What the hell’s on Kalarba?” Ben asked. 

“That’s on a need to know basis,” Connix replied. “It should be a simple pick up.” 

“Send us the coordinates and recognition codes and we’ll head there immediately,” Hux cut in smoothly before Ben could say anything else. “Tell the General that she can consider it done.” 

She nodded. “Sending now. Good luck.” 

Ben leaned on the back of Hux’s seat, fingers brushing his shoulder as they simultaneously read through the short briefing. “It’s going to be a tight rendezvous.” 

“But we can still make it, no?” Hux asked. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, immediately heading towards the cockpit and yelling the rest over his shoulder. “I might be able to shave an hour off if we plot this jump right. You want to come help?” 

Hux was already on his feet and following him. This was mildly better than pirates. 

The day’s surprises seemed unwilling to end there about six hours later as Ben came running up the boarding ramp with their agent in tow. “Hux, get us out of here!” 

He didn’t need to be told twice; finishing the last few steps of the lift off sequence and sending the ship straight into the sky. “Ben, I need you to…” 

“I got it, I got it!” Ben exclaimed, sprinting into the cockpit and vaulting into his chair.

Hux raised an eyebrow, not taking his eyes away from the viewport while he flew. “Now?”

“Now,” Ben confirmed. Hux transferred control from the copilot controls to the ones in front of him. His boyfriend may not be the best of pilots but he still knew how to make a ship dance. “Woooohoo!” 

Hux decided that he rather enjoyed watching Ben when he was like this. “How did the extraction go?” he asked once they’d made the jump to hyperspace again.

“Could’ve been worse,” Ben said with a shrug. “We got shot at a little.” 

“You get shot at a lot,” Hux observed. 

“But they don’t hit me a lot.” 

“Mmm.” 

“You should talk to her.” 

“Who?” 

“The agent we just picked up.” 

“Why?” 

“Because.” 

The smirk on Ben’s face was enough to make Hux roll his eyes. “You never fail to be infuriating.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Ben said airily as they headed back towards the small lounge. “It’s why you like me.” 

“It most certainly is not,” Hux said, mouth half open to deliver another cut when he spotted the woman sitting at the table and stopped dead in his tracks. “What in the stars are you doing here?” 

Liselle Afyon looked up tiredly and managed a tight smile. “Good to see you too, Major.” 

“You’re our Resistance agent?” She nodded. “When did you leave the New Republic?” 

“Not long after you did… maybe a few weeks.” 

“I thought you were an analyst, not a field agent.” 

Liselle shrugged. “I like doing both.” 

“This is highly irregular.” 

“That’s his way of saying hello and that he’s glad to see you,” Ben said, flopping down beside her. “Hi again.” 

She smiled. “Hello again. Nice to see you now that we’re not being shot at. That happens a lot around you.” 

Ben groaned even as Hux smirked. “Everyone keeps saying that!” 

“It is good to see you again,” Hux said, reaching out to shake her hand firmly before taking the seat across from her. He even managed an almost-smile. “What is the First Order doing on Kalarba?”

“Making trouble,” Liselle said wryly. “They’ve been getting bolder over the last few weeks.” 

“Why did you need an extraction?” 

She sighed, running a hand through her knotted and messy ponytail. “I shouldn’t tell you until I report to my superiors.” 

“At the Resistance,” Hux said, still surprised that she was even there. 

She nodded. “But at the same time…” She looked Ben straight in the eye. “I think you have a right to know.” 

“Me?” Ben frowned, confused.

Liselle nodded again. “There’s a chance that you knew…” Her voice trailed off and she rubbed at one temple. 

“Afyon,” Hux said flatly. “What happened?” 

“They killed a Jedi Knight. You’re the only one left.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Again, haha. It's been a rough two months. The good news is that my plan is to seriously focus on this fic and write it all during NaNo so there hopefully won't belong delays anymore. Anyways. Love you all for sticking with me<3

“Which Jedi?” Ben demanded, noticeably having to refrain from reaching out and shaking her.  

“Ben…” Hux said warningly, reaching out to grab his bicep.

“Which Jedi?”

“Rhysode.  Ganner Rhysode.”  Liselle’s expression was sober.  “Did you know him well?” 

“Not really,” Ben said quietly, leaning back again.  “I mean, I knew him obviously but we weren’t close.  I’ve only seen him once or twice since Uncle Luke left.”

Hux frowned.  “What happened to him?”

With an almost identical frown, Liselle shrugged.  “The First Order.”   

Ben let out a loud sound of frustration.  “Yeah but what happened?  You’re not telling me anything!” 

Subtly, Hux laid a hand of his thigh under the table.  “Ben.  Why don’t you go double check the numbers on our next hyperspace jump?”  He could feel the Jedi tense beneath his hand before nodding abruptly and disappearing.   

She waited until he was definitely gone before raising an eyebrow.  “He’s changed.” 

Hux shrugged, trying to brush the comment off.  “Perhaps you shouldn’t have told him.” 

“He was going to find out,” Liselle said bluntly.  “I figured I’d let him blow up in front of just us since it was going to happen.”   

“That I can hardly argue with,” he murmured.  “We have another fifteen hours before we reach D’Qar.  The fresher and bunks are the door behind you.” 

Gratefulness flashed in her grey eyes.  “Thank you.  It’s been a long few days.” 

“I’ll keep him out of your hair,” Hux promised.  “I’m sure the General will want to read your report.” 

“I’d make a joke,” Liselle said, already heading towards the fresher with her bag.  “Because I know Kalin would want me to but I’m too damn tired to come up with a good one.” 

“That’s probably for the best.” 

~

“I’ve been watching Knight Rhysode for the last five weeks.”  Liselle stood at the front of the small briefing room in a neatly pressed Resistance uniform, hands behind her back.  She nodded towards Leia.  “Leadership determined that there was a risk given the events of the past year.” 

“Wait,” Ben interrupted.  “What happened?” 

“The Knights of Ren killed Nelani Dinn last year.  They tried to make it look like an accident but we knew otherwise,” Leia said grimly.  “They didn’t cover their tracks quite well enough.  And then about a month later, they got to Seff Hellin.  That one they were far less subtle about.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You were busy.” 

“So?” 

“So nothing, Ben.” 

Liselle waited a beat before continuing.  “I don’t know if Rhysode knew I was there.  I was careful.  Kept my distance like my orders said but I’ve spent enough time around Jedi to know they have powers that don’t fall into the normal spectrum.  All of the details are in my report but the short version is that they got the drop on him and they had the numbers.”  She paused.  “Kyla Ren dealt with him personally.” 

Ben’s hands curled into fists and Hux could’ve sworn that the furniture in the room trembled.   

“This is getting to be a problem,” Greer said to Leia, too quiet but for anyone right next to her to hear.   

“I know,” Leia replied equally softly before raising her voice again.  “Was this the first time they went after him?” 

She shook her head.  “No, there was an encounter on Mygeeto but there were only two of them then.  They were far more prepared this time.”  Liselle glanced down briefly.  “There was nothing I could do to help Rhysode.  Firefights aren’t exactly my forte especially when lightsabers are involved.  If there had been…” 

Leia reached out and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  “You did the right thing, Liselle.  No one—” 

“So are we just going to let them get away with this?” Ben interrupted explosively.  “We’re just going to sit here and not get revenge?” 

“Yes,” Leia said sharply.  “That’s exactly what you’re going to do.” 

Even Hux was taken back.  “General?” 

“The First Order is clearly intent on hunting down the Jedi Order—” 

“You mean Kyla Ren!” 

“—and I will not have you chase after her to put yourself directly in her path!” 

“You were fine with it when you sent me and Hux chasing after the First Order last year!” 

“That was a different situation, Ben.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Ma’am?”  Mother and son whirled around to face Liselle again, the identical hints of surprise on their faces evidence that they’d both seemed to forget that anyone else was in the room.  Liselle waited a moment before continuing.  “Our intelligence suggests that they’ve also initiating a hunt for Luke Skywalker; one that seems to be the logical end to their current mission.” 

“Oh no,” Hux murmured, hand going to his temples even as a dark cloud settled over his raging hulk of a boyfriend.   

“I need to stop her!”  Ben exclaimed.  “Give me a kriffing ship and let me take her down!” 

Leia didn’t flinch.  “Absolutely not.” 

“Why the hell not?” 

“Because you’re not going on a suicide mission.” 

“They’re going to come after me anyways so—” 

“Which is exactly why you’re not going to make it easier for them!” 

Greer tapped both Hux and Liselle on the elbow.  “Come on.”  Hux shot her a quizzical look.  “Let them discuss.”  Liselle let out a derisive snort but followed the older woman out.  Hux lingered for a moment, feeling like he should stay but a look from Greer quickly dissuaded him from that notion and he quickly followed.  “It doesn’t matter how much you like either of them,” the dark haired woman said once the door was safely shut behind them.  “Don’t get in the middle of an Organa fight like that unless you’re, well, an Organa.” 

Hux raised an eyebrow.  “Not even a Solo?” 

With a chuckle, Greer shook her head.  “You couldn’t pay me to get in the middle of a Ben, Leia, AND Han fight.  I love them all but…” She shook her head again.  “It’s best to let them yell behind closed doors.  They’ll sort it out.” 

Shrugging ever so slightly, Liselle leaned against the corridor wall and turned her attention to her datapad.  Not quite so easily satisfied, Hux frowned and took a step closer to the aide.  “What else is going on here?” 

Greer raised an eyebrow.  “You don’t really expect me to answer that question, do you?” 

“Why not?” Hux countered.

“You forget that we also work in politics,” she reminded him.  “I make it a policy not to answer probing questions regardless of whether or not they’re hitting close to the mark.”  

“I wasn’t—”

“Hux.”

Knowing when he’d lost the battle, he took a step back.  “Ma’am.”

“I’m starting to get why that drives Leia insane,” Greer muttered, shaking her head with amusement.  

Before he had a chance to reply, the door banged open and Ben stormed out and right past all of them.  Leia followed far more calmly, stopping as she reached the group.  “Greer, please inform the fleet chief that my son is not authorized to take any ships with hyperspace capability until I say otherwise.  Liselle, I’d like to thank you for your very thorough report and for your work for the Resistance thus far.”  

“Thank you, ma’am,” Liselle murmured.  

Leia folded her arms across her chest.  “I’d like to make sure that our Intelligence group starts focusing on this.  If they’re looking for my brother…”

“We’ll know about it,” Greer assured her.

She turned her focus to him.  “Hux, I want you to work on this too.”

He nodded.  “I’ll go now, General.”

And he did.  It worked out for the best that he was busy for the rest of the day, if he was honest with himself.  By the time he returned to their shared room, Ben appeared to have visibly calmed down somewhat although that sense of anger still hung over him.  “I’m surprised you’re here.”

“They wouldn’t let me take a ship,” Ben grumbled grouchily.   

“I can’t imagine why,” Hux said dryly.  Ben’s only response was to glare at him.  Hux ignored him, instead removing his uniform jacket and going about the rest of his usual evening routine.  “Is there anything I should know?” he asked overly casually.  

“I’m not going to go run after the entire First Order all by myself.”  Hux raised an eyebrow and Ben gave that lopsided smile.  “I promise!”

He nodded curtly.  “Good.”

“I just… I don’t want to wait around for them to come and kill me.”

“As if they could.”  He paused by the bed, letting his hand settle on Ben’s shoulder.  “I’ll be quite upset if you got yourself killed.”  

Ben smirked, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to sit beside him.  “Yeah, I think I would be too.”

“I mean it,” Hux said firmly.

There was something about how Ben looked down and away that worried him, the few seconds of silence feeling like miniature eternities.  “Yeah,” Ben finally said roughly.  “I know.”

They didn’t say anything else for a very long while.

~

Hux threw himself wholeheartedly into his work even more so than before.  He liked having a goal to strive towards, something to focus on.  Looking through all of the intelligence the Resistance had on the Knights of Ren was enlightening to say the least.  He started working longer hours just like when they’d been back on the _Adamant_ , devising new fleet strategies to test via the simulators when he had the extra time.  Of course, it came as the expense of a pouting Ben who seemed to be grumpy about both being ignored and the situation with the Knights of Ren.  Hux barely noticed the unfortunate side-effect.  He’d hated the feeling of boredom and uselessness that he’d been stuck with for far too long to give up his work now.

Several weeks later, he discovered that he hated being blindsided even more.

“Each of your ships is being sent on a dual mission,” Leia addressed the four ship captains before her.  Hux stood slightly off to one side as she spoke, as interested as the captains in question were to hear what this mission would be.  The General had kept this one close to the chest, even from most of her staff.  “As some of you may have heard, the First Order have been making moves against the Jedi.”  She nodded towards Ben who stood silently in the corner, arms folded across his chest.  “My son is the only one left.  We’ll be sending each of you to a different quadrant of the galaxy to recruit for the Resistance and also to run down the Knights of Ren.”

Hux didn’t glance to his left to see the reactions of the captains but instead strove to keep his own expression blank.  Ben knew.  There was no way that he hadn’t known.  And he hadn’t told him.  Ben didn’t look at him.

“Your ship’s specifics will be within your mission dossiers,” Leia continued.  “And I’ll be honest with all of you: this won’t be the easiest job in the Resistance.”

Captain Alinn Varth raised an eyebrow even as she smiled.  “Do those even exist?”

“Probably not.  Any other questions?”

Another one of the captains glanced at his compatriots before clearing his throat.  “With all due respect, why do you think this is going to work?”  He nodded towards Hux.  “We all know it took almost a year for Hux to find anything.  Why should we have more luck?”

Leia nodded.  “That’s a fair question.  We think you’ll have more success because the mission is different and because they’ve gotten bolder.  Four ships can cover far more ground than just one.  Plus, you won’t be trying to convince the Senate of something we all already know.”

“No one should have to repeat that particular mission,” Hux said dryly.  

She flashed him one of those amused smiles.  “I thought you might say that.”

“General?”  Varth seemed to be the woman with all the questions today.  “Will Knight Solo be joining any of our ships?”

“We haven’t determined that yet.  We’ll let the appropriate captain know when that decision is made.  It will put your ship in certain danger.”

That made Hux narrow his eyes.  The vague answer said far more than any straightforward one ever could have.  He heard Leia end the briefing but he was completely honed in on Ben.  As soon as she dismissed them, he took four very precise steps towards the Jedi, hands curled into fists at his sides as he looked Ben square in the eye.  “Solo.  A word?”  Ben frowned but nodded, leading them out of the briefing room and down a side corridor.  “What the hell was that?”

“When did you go back to calling me by my last name?” Ben asked, almost interrupting him.  

“When you decided to put yourself directly in harm’s way and not tell me,” Hux shot back.  

Ben shrugged.  “You were busy.”

“So this was your solution?”

“It got your attention.”

“Of all the immature, ridiculous--”

“I tried to talk to you about this!” Ben exclaimed angrily.  “I tried to tell you that I need to go after them!”

Hux gritted his teeth.  “And I distinctly remembering you promising me that you wouldn’t run off and get yourself killed.”

“I didn’t promise anything.”

“Do you really want to argue semantics with me?”

He hesitated before begrudgingly saying, “No.”

Hux stared at him unblinkingly.  “So it’s your intention to go off on some Resistance ship and dangle yourself as bait in front of Kyla Ren until either you kill her or she kills you?”  Ben shrugged.  “You can’t seriously tell me that your mother is in agreement with this plan.”

“She’s not,” Ben muttered.  “She agrees with you.”

“At least someone’s still held onto their sanity,” Hux said under his breath.  “Whose ship are you intending to go with?”

He shrugged.  “Maybe Jacquen’s?”

“Lovely.  So you intend to not only throw away your life as bait but to also do so with a captain whose service record is, quite frankly, subpar.”

Ben let out a sound that was halfway between a snort and laughter.  “You’re mad because it’s not you.”  Hux merely glared which Ben took as encouragement.  “I’m right!”

“How could that possibly be the case?” Hux countered.  “I don’t even have a ship under my command.”

“Easily fixed,” Ben waved his argument off.  “Come on.  Can’t you just admit that you’re mad because I didn’t tell you and because I was going to be putting myself in danger without you?”

“I’ll allow your first point but not the second.”  

“Well maybe if you’d just admit that you--”

“You’re avoiding the issue.”

“I’m not really--”

Hux grabbed a handful of Ben’s tunic and dragged him forward so their noses were mere inches apart.  “I don’t find discussion of your death to be humorous, Ben.”

The amusement faded from his dark eyes.  “I’m not going to die, Hux.”   

“Did you perhaps listen to a different briefing where the impending second extinction of the Jedi was not discussed?”

“That’s why I need to find Kyla Ren first.”

Hux released his grip on his shirt, flattening his hand against the other man’s chest and sighing.  “There’s a better way to do so than dangling yourself as bait because I’m not paying enough attention to you.”

Both of his eyebrows shot up.  “Yeah?”

“One that we can figure out together,” Hux clarified, making Ben roll his eyes.  “As much as it still pains me to admit it, I care about you too much for you to go off alone on some foolhardy suicide mission.”

Ben smiled.  “So if I promise not to go on one of these missions, you won’t be mad at me.” 

“I will be somewhat less mad.”

The smile transitioned into a full smirk as Ben took a few steps back.  “Great.  I’ll tell Mom that the captains are on their own.  I’ll see you later.”

In that moment, Hux found it difficult to remember why he’d ever thought becoming involved with the Resistance or Ben Organa Solo was a good idea.

~

“So where are we headed?” Hux asked absently as he reviewed the first set of reports from the captains several weeks later.  Things had been still somewhat strained between them ever since that briefing.  He was still struggling to figure out a happy medium between his work and paying enough attention to his needy boyfriend and he wasn’t entirely sure that he’d sorted it out yet.  “You never specified before you dragged me from the building which really needs to stop happening.”

“You’ll see,” Ben said, the smile audible in his voice.  “We’re just about there.”

“In the middle of space?” he asked, finally glancing up.  A second later, he sat bolt upright, eyes locked on a capital ship he knew all too well.  “That’s…”

Ben grinned broadly.  “Yeah?”

“That’s my ship.”

“Is it?”

Hux was halfway out of his seat, leaning on the control panel.  “That’s my ship!  What the blazes is the _Adamant_ doing here?" 

“And you didn’t want to come with me.”  Words failed him and it was all Hux could do just to gape soundlessly as Ben expertly piloted them into the command hanger, glancing his way after they landed.  “Never thought I’d see you speechless.”  

“I never thought that I’d see her again,” Hux confessed as they made their way off the shuttle.  “She was never really mine… I wasn’t naïve enough to ever think that but…”

“You’re more sentimental about the _Adamant_ than you are about me,” Ben teased.  He took his hand.  “Come on.”

It was like walking in a daze as Ben led him through the ship and up to the bridge.  Hux grasped his own wrist behind his back, squeezing tightly every now and then in an attempt to bring himself back to reality.  The _Adamant_ appeared to be somewhat short of fully crewed with some of the faces that passed by looking very familiar.  It wasn’t until they stepped on the bridge and saw who awaited them that Hux stopped dead in his tracks.  “Ele?  What the hell are you doing here?”

“Joining the Resistance apparently,” Teravo said with a grin.  “About half of the old crew too.  Did you miss us?”

“I missed my ship,” Hux said with a genuine smile, grasping forearms with the other man.  “But she’s Republic property.  How is—”

“Technically, the _Adamant_ was declared excess,” a strong voice said from behind him.  Hux spun sharply on his heel to see General Organa standing there with a smile.  “You’d be surprised how many perfectly good New Republic ships were found to be unfit for the Fleet’s use or otherwise unnecessary and declared surplus.  High Command just couldn’t be bothered to keep so many ships in service anymore especially since there’s not a war coming anytime soon.”

Hux arched an eyebrow.  “Tycho?”

Leia nodded.  “Tycho.  He and Winter should be joining us any day now.”

Hux turned away, letting his fingers brush along the command console.  Swallowing hard, he forced his features back into their traditional blankness and faced mother and son again.  “The _Adamant’s_ a good ship.  I hope whoever gets her command takes excellent care of her.”

Ben burst out laughing.  “Hux, you idiot!  The _Adamant_ is yours!”

He must have misheard.  “What?”

“We’re giving you command of the _Adamant_ again,” Leia said far more calmly.  “Assuming you accept it.”

“Happily, ma’am.”

“I still expect to see you in the morning briefings,” Leia said, stern tone counteracted by the small smile on her face.  Hux nodded, still trying to process everything.  “I need to return to the planet but I’ll see both of you at the strategy session later.”

Both men nodded and Ben escorted his mom to the bridge’s entrace, lingering there as Hux took another look around the bridge he knew so well.  The _Adamant_ was not the most impressive or dangerous capital ship but she was his again and he knew how to make her sing in battle.  Glancing around, he immediately recognized a few officers and stepped forwards, shaking their hands and exchanging polite greetings with them.  Before long he was greeting everyone on the bridge, meeting those new to him and exchanging mild pleasantries with those already familiar to him.   

“Hux.”  Ben’s voice interrupted his conversation with Teravo.  “We have that meeting…thing.”

Hux raised a red eyebrow.  “Meeting thing?”

The shrug was in complete contrast to the intensity in his dark eyes.  “I don’t know your stupid military talk.”

He got the unsubtle message loud and clear.  “Very well then.  The meeting…thing.  Captain, if you would excuse me?”

“We’ll all still be here later, Major,” Teravo said with a wink.  “I’ll have her officially transferred back to your command within the hour.  Enjoy your meeting.”

“At your convenience, Captain,” Hux said with an air of forced casualness.   He and Teravo exchanged nods before Hux marched back off the bridge.  As soon as the turbolift doors slid shut, Hux had Ben pressed up against the wall in a kiss that the younger man returned enthusiastically.

“Surprise,” Ben murmured with a smirk as they broke apart.

“How did you know?”

“That you missed your command?  You’ve been moping for months.”

“I was not moping!”

Ben laughed.  “You were definitely moping, lover.  It’s okay.”  He kissed him lightly.  “It was cute.”

“The term you’re looking for was bored,” Hux correct him primly, taking a step back and straightening both of their jackets.  “I dislike boredom and inactivity.”

“I know,” he said dryly.

“How did they get the _Adamant_ though?”

Ben shook his head, unruly hair flopping.  “That was all Tycho.  Well, Tycho and Winter and Admiral Statura.  They made the surplus thing Mom was talking about happen.  I just suggested to Mom that they give you your ship.”

Blue eyes narrowed.  “I appreciate the gesture but I don’t want the Resistance to give me command privileges simply because I’m sleeping with you.  I prefer to earn those on my own merits.”  

“You did,” Ben reassured him, drawing him in again.

Hux braced a hand on his chest, stopping another kiss.  “I mean it, Ben.  I won’t trade one form of nepotism for another.”

Ben sighed and leaned heavily against the wall, slouching a little.  “You’re not, okay?  They were already considering it.  Everything just worked out right and Mom agreed to help me surprise you.”  Hux’s suspicion didn’t lesson.  “I just wanted to do something for you to say I’m sorry.”

It was like dealing with a baby lothcat at times—one that assumed it was about to get kicked.  “I know,” Hux said, forcing himself to lighten his tone.  “And it’s appreciated.  I’m simply…”

“Paranoid?” Ben suggested glibly.  “A soldier with a stick up his ass?  Ridiculous?”

“Your ingenuity with insults is second to none.”

“Whatever.”  He waved off Hux’s sarcasm before his entire attitude shifted and he looked up him through dark lashes, just barely shorter when he slumped like this.  “So.  Am I?”

Hux frowned.  “Are you what?”

“Forgiven.”

He hesitated, having already forgotten that this was partially Ben’s form of a peace offering.  There was no denying that he was still irritated at the Jedi for deliberately keeping secrets from him as a form of petty revenge and yet this… there were no words that could fully describe how it felt to have the _Adamant_ back.  The gesture was sweet.  “Of course you are,” Hux finally said with a half smile, running a hand through Ben’s messy hair.  “Although you should certainly feel welcome to present another compelling reason why…”

The look Ben gave him promised that he would shortly be providing several very compelling reasons and very few would involve his mouth actually talking.  He was leaning forward to kiss him again when the lift doors slid open and they were interrupted by a polite cough.  A woman they both knew very well stood in the precise center, smile barely contained.  “I’m thrilled to see that absolutely nothing has changed since you left,” Kalin Werth said.  “Sir.”

“What in the blazes are you doing here?” Hux asked bluntly yet excitedly, pushing Ben off of him and stepping out of the turbolift to shake her hand.  “I thought you’d decided to stay with the New Republic and work your way to your own command.”

“I had but General Celchu presented a compelling case,” Kalin said.  “And when Winter asked me to assist with her work declaring the ships excess…” She shrugged.  “It was hard to say no.”

“Do I need to have a discussion with—”

She waved off his concerns.  “No, they know I’m not an intelligence analyst.  I’m assigned to the _Adamant_ if you’d like me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I do,” Hux said quickly.  “I’ve yet to find anyone with your level of competence around this base.”

Kalin raised an eyebrow.  “Maybe some things have changed.”

“They really haven’t,” Ben said dryly.  “He’s still married to his damn work.  I’m happy to see you again, Kalin.”

“You too, Ben,” she said with another smile before stepping to one side and letting them pass.  “I can catch up with you later, Major.  I suspect you’ve got other... things to do.”  
  
Hux didn’t even bother trying to hide his eye roll.  Things were already feeling a little too close to normal but it was hard to object.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quietly flails around a little and attempts to relearn to write* I have this magical plan to kick myself in the butt on writing this during NaNo next month. We'll see what happens.
> 
> But hey! In way more fun news, the lovely MandrinaQ wrote "[About Damned Time](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8323201)" based off of some Organa Solo family bits in chapter 1 and it's pretty darn lovely and fits well with the AU. You should all go read it!

If Ben’s intention had been to reclaim more of Hux’s attention, his assistance with returning command of the  _ Adamant _ to him severely backfired.  Hux quickly found himself spending as much time as possible either aboard the ship or combing through personnel files to learn which of her crew had left the Republic and which key positions he could fill with the best people he could snag in the Resistance.  It had, however, repaired the tension between them.  He suspected that Ben had just decided to call it a draw especially since he could hardly object to the hours they’d spent together in Hux’s office and on top of his reclaimed desk.  

Besides, Ben had managed to acquire his own project besides training.  He’d started taking a look at any reports that came in regarding the Jedi or anything Knights of Ren specific since he was now the only expert available.  

That didn’t seem to stop him from being less than content.  “Are you and Mom conspiring against me?” he asked one day, early in the evening.

The question was so abrupt that the only response Hux could come up with was, “What?”

“You and Mom.  You’re working together against me, aren’t you?”

Hux blinked.  “Where in the stars would you get an idea like that?”

Ben shrugged.  “I mean, you basically worship her--”

“That’s a hyperbolic and frankly overly dramatic way to refer to respect.”

“--and you work together a lot and you’re both in total agreement about this Knights of Ren thing.  So yeah, conspiracy.”

“We’re in agreement because you’ve lost your bloody mind,” Hux corrected him through gritted teeth.  “It’s a conspiracy of common sense, nothing more.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Hux set his datapad down and met his eyes.  “Do you honestly think that the General and I sit down once a week to discuss how we can best irritate you in the coming days?”

Awkwardly, Ben rubbed the back of his neck with a hand.  “Well when you put it like that…”

Rising to his feet, he moved to stand before him.  “It’s not unreasonable that I want you to avoid death.  You must know by now that I care about you quite a lot.”

“I know,” Ben said quietly.  “And you know that I love you but I’m going to go crazy if I just stay here and wait.”

There it was.  That word again.  It wasn’t the only time that Ben had spoken to him of love.  It had first slipped from his lips when they’d been curled up together in bed back on Hosnian Prime.  Hux hadn’t been able to say it back.  (Love.  What the hell did he know about love?)  Ben hadn’t seem bothered.  He’d said it perhaps another dozen times since then, always casually and never as a declaration but it always got Hux’s attention.  

The pause in conversation had gone on just a few seconds too long and Hux awkwardly cleared his throat.  “You just need a better plan.”

“I’m not really a plan person.”

“I had no idea.”

“Why can’t you help me come up with one?”

Right on cue, his comlink began buzzing insistently.  “Because,” Hux said, reaching up and patting his cheek with a tinge of condescension, “I have work to do.”

The damage, unfortunately, was done.  Ben was slyer than most people gave him credit for.  He knew that Hux’s mind loved nothing better than a challenge and this most certainly qualified as such.  In the back of his mind, he mulled over the issue, looking for a new angle that everyone must have missed or perhaps ignored.  He found himself scribbling notes down during meetings and making marks on galactic maps while standing in the  _ Adamant’s _ command room.  It was enough to make Kalin raise an eyebrow but he waved off her concern and curiosity.  He wasn’t to the sharing stage quite yet.

He was still thinking his way through things a few days later when Tycho and Winter finally made their way to D’Qar and had their arrival far too loudly heralded by another former Rogue Squadron pilot.  “Let’s hear it for the Conquering Celchus!”

Both Alderaanians were shaking their heads with embarrassed amusement as they stepped into the room yet they had the air of people who were used to it thanks to years of experience.  “Thanks, Janson,” Tycho said dryly, clearly meaning the opposite. 

“Anytime,” the old Rogue said with a grin as he clapped the other man on the shoulder.  

Leia’s smile was broad and completely genuinely as she stepped around the conference table to greet her fellow Alderaanians.  “I’m glad you’re finally both here.”

“We couldn’t arrive empty handed,” Winter said.  “It’s inappropriate to visit your queen without bringing a gift.”

Leia shook her heads with amusement before embracing them both in turn.  Hux stayed towards the far side of the room, watching with interest.  He’d never met Tycho’s wife before but there was no mistaking her identity.  There wasn’t much of a physical resemblance between Leia and Winter.  Leia was several inches shorter and he suspected that Winter’s white hair wasn’t due entirely to age but there was something about their regal and authoritative bearing that could only have come from being raised in a royal court.  

The resemblance only intensified as Winter arched an eyebrow at Ben who was hanging back a few steps.  Immediately, he stepped forward and hugged her.  “Hi Aunt Winter.”

“You’re still terrible about returning holomessages, Ben,” she chided him good naturedly.

“I’ve been busy!”

“With what? Your new boyfriend?”

Hux felt his cheeks flush red and he took a step back even as Ben made an indignant sound.  “Aunt Winter!”   

She raised an eyebrow, expression serene.  “Yes?”

As Ben flailed around for something in the vicinity of a word, Hux suddenly remembered that he had pressing business to attend to that was anywhere but that room.  He slipped out the door mostly unnoticed and straight to the corridor that would take him as far away from the control room as possible.  As he walked, the plan in progress took over his thoughts again and his feet carried him towards the control room that General Cracken’s people had claimed for their own.  Thankfully, his clearance allowed him access despite not being a part of the Intelligence team.

He was glad to see that the galactic holoprojector was available when he walked in.  Say what you might about the strangeness of Intelligence folks but they never failed to have the best toys.  It was a shame he hadn’t thought to use their galaxy map before this as it was highly superior to the one aboard the  _ Adamant _ .  

Hux had such tunnel vision that it took the sound of a woman clearing her throat for him to actually look up and see who else was in the room with him.  There were two bothans huddled over terminals in a corner and a far more familiar face standing approximately two meters away.  “Oh.  Afyon, I didn’t see you there.”

“You seemed very focused,” Liselle said mildly.  

Hux swallowed hard.  “Yes, well… I needed the distraction.”

The corners of her mouth twitched into an expression just shy of a smirk.  “Major Brendol Hux is actually hiding.”

“I am not!”  Belatedly he realized that protesting so quickly was a blatant giveaway that she’d hit the mark square on.  “I simply… preferred not to be where I was.”

“Hiding,” she confirmed.  “I wouldn’t have expected the Celchus to garner that particular reaction from you.”

His eyes narrowed.  “How did you already know that they’re here?”

Liselle raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the rest of the room.  “Spy, remember?”

“Ah.”

“Also, my sister’s married to their son.”

“I’d forgotten that.”

“The family resemblance is weak, I know.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Mildly.”  There was silence for a few moments.  “Winter’s really quite nice, you know.”

“I’m hardly in the mood for extended familial nonsense so if you don’t mind...”  With a hint of a smile, Liselle shrugged and nodded, turning away to refocus on her own work.  Hux stared up at the sector map again, tapping it and sending it spinning.  Maybe it was time to get out of his own head and find some bright side to this thoroughly uncomfortable afternoon.  “I could use another opinion actually, if you have the time.”

Liselle raised an eyebrow.  “About the--”

“No, about the--absolutely not about that,” Hux huffed.  “It’s related to the First Order.”

“Just like old times then.”

“Indeed,” he murmured.  “Ben’s unsatisfied with the Resistance’s current methods of countering the Knights of Ren and seems hellbent on dangling himself as bait.  I believe that there must be a better way to go about it than his plan of standing on a metaphorical mountain and shouting at them.”

She nodded, folding her arms across her chest.  “Hardly a plan.”

“Precisely.”  Hux grasped his wrist behind his back, pacing back and forth the length of the projector.  “I believe that the answer is to use more than just Ben as bait.  We use other ranking, known members of the Resistance.”

“You’d need more than that or else they’ll see right through it,” Liselle pointed out.  “We already know their leaders aren’t dumb.  You’d need ship movements, supply runs…”

“Hyperspace vectors that point towards a base in a nearby system,” Hux finished for her, moderately glad that she’d caught on to the idea so quickly.  

“That’s a complicated set of variables.  Have you figured out a system yet?”

“That’s where I could use your assistance.”

“You mean ‘Intelligence’s maps.’”

“I mean both.” 

She slid into one of the terminal seats, fingers already flying across the keyboard.  “Which systems have you already identified as probables so far?”

“These two,” Hux said, tapping them on the holoprojector to make them glow.  “I might be missing some more viable options.”  

“Probably.”  Liselle said it very matter-of-factly and he didn’t take offense.  After a few minutes, she glanced up again.  “This is going to take some time.  You might want to sit down.”

It was another week of work before they had something Hux felt comfortable presenting to Resistance leadership.  The plan still needed further development but they both agreed there was no sense in going much further without receiving the General’s approval.  The fact that it gave Hux an easy excuse to avoid all of the family nonsense that Ben kept trying to drag him to was just a bonus.  He had better things to do than get pulled further into any Skywalker madness.  

It was a small but noteworthy group who stood in the briefing room that morning.  In addition to Leia and Tycho, Admirals Ackbar and Statura and Generals Airen Cracken and Areta Bell were present.  Ben sat on top of a stack of crates against the wall while Korr Sella stood about a meter away, datapad poised to take notes.  

Discreetly, Hux wiped his palms on his pants and then stepped forward after a nod from Leia.  “I’d like to thank you all for your time today,” he began.  “Specialist Afyon and I have put together a strategy that we feel has the potential to draw out the First Order and the Knights of Ren.  With all due respect, four ships alone won’t find them especially as a side mission.  We have to bring them to us or rather bring them to what they think is us.”  There were a few raised eyebrows at that.  Liselle tapped a few buttons to bring the galactic map to life.  “Essentially, this is a disinformation campaign in overdrive.  If the Knights of Ren want Jedi Solo, we give him to them.  We dangle General Organa or Admiral Ackbar in front of them.  Commander Dameron lets a little more information slip than he should in a bar while on a recruiting run.  Admiral Statura concentrates his logistical efforts on a certain system.”

Cracken got it first.  “You’re making a false base.”  Hux and Liselle nodded.  The aging general smiled predatorily.  “I like it.  You have systems in mind?”

She hit another button to make some systems glow.  “We have three potentials in mind.”

“Hm.”  Cracken made a sound of interest.  “So this is why you took over our bunker for the last few days.”

“Major, Specialist,” Ackbar interrupted.  “Can you expand for those of us who aren’t Intelligence trained?”

Hux nodded.  “It’s not something that can be rushed but there’s potential pay off.  We grab the First Order’s attention without sending an invitation over the holonet.  We use the more known members of the Resistance and a combination of fleet and supply movements and hyperspace jumps to make them think that our base is in a nearby system.  If the Resistance is successful, we’ll draw them out into the open instead of waiting for them to actually track us down.  It’s a minor logistical mess but feasible.”

Tycho snorted.  “What you call a minor mess most people would call a nightmare, Hux.”

“We have the start of plans for each,” Hux said with a shrug.

“Can you go through the one you both think is the most viable?” Leia requested.

Liselle stepped forward again, bringing up their first choice system and began outlining the plan, giving Hux a moment to glance around the room and judge the Admirals’ and Generals’ reactions.  No one seemed to be entirely opposed to it yet.  Getting Cracken onboard so quickly was certainly a win and Statura seemed intrigued.  Bell appeared to be the most hesitant thus far but was still listening carefully.  Leia, as per usual, was politely listening but unreadable.  Finally, Hux looked over at Ben, surprised to see he was paying absolutely no attention to Liselle and staring at him instead.  Ben raised an eyebrow at him, smirking a little.  Hux didn’t give him the satisfaction of any visual response.  

“...just a start, of course,” Liselle was saying.  “We have one of these for each of the three identified systems but didn’t want to expend too many resources on expanding upon them until this has your approval.”

“It’s enough to get the point,” Cracken said, looking away from the map.  “Well I like it, Leia.”

“I thought you might,” Leia said dryly, glancing around the table.  “Areta, you have some concerns?”

General Bell shrugged.  “Nothing specific.  I’m not completely sold on it but I’m better with starfighter tactics than this stuff.  That’s Statura’s realm.”

Admiral Statura half-smiled as Leia turned towards him.  “Tycho’s not wrong: it’s a logistical nightmare but it’s doable.  My concern would be maintaining continuity for our supply lines but I see no reason why we can’t do both.”

“Anyone else?”  Only silence and headshakes greeted her.  “In that case, we’ll move forward with this.  Major, Specialist: well done.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Hux and Liselle murmured in unison.

“Airen, Tycho: take a look at the plans and make a determination for which system to use.”

Briefing finished, everyone began to file out.  Tycho clapped a hand on Hux’s shoulder in congratulations and Cracken was already deep in conversation with Liselle before they even reached the door.  Hux lingered, waiting for Leia to exchange a few words with Korr before he stepped forward, clearing his throat.  “As it has your approval, I’d like to request assignment to this project, General.  I believe I can be of use to whoever you have running it.”

Leia gave him a funny look like she couldn’t quite decide whether he was serious or not.  “Don’t be ridiculous, Hux.”

He was taken back.  “Ma’am?”

“I want you to run it.”

Someone could have pushed him over with a feather.  “What?”

“So surprise makes you drop all the ma’ams then.  Good to know.”

Hux shifted his balance.  “General, I’m hardly senior enough to run a project of this scale.”

She raised an eyebrow, arms folded across her chest.  “You’re worried about rank?”

“I don’t have the experience-- A Major shouldn’t be in charge of an--”

“We’ll promote you to Colonel then.”

“I didn’t mean to--”

“I know.”

“Just shut up and take the job already,” Ben interrupted, finally jumping down off the crates where he’d been uncharacteristically silent.  “Good plan, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Hux muttered under his breath.  “General, I really must insist that--”

“Hux.”  Leia cut him off with a single word.  “It’s your plan and you have the First Order expertise.  I’d like you to run it.  Consult with Tycho if it’ll make you feel better.  Besides, I’d rather that my son use himself as bait for the Knights of Ren under a well reasoned plan than his previous foolish ideas.”

“Hey!”

They both ignored Ben’s indignation.  Hux inclined his head a little.  “I appreciate your trust in me, General.”

“I trust you to get the job done, Colonel,” Leia said, expression serious.  “Let Greer know if you need anything from me for this.  Good luck.”

Ben barely waited for his mother to leave before smirking.  “I thought you were too busy with work to come up with a plan.”

“This was work,” Hux protested.  

“Uh-huh.”  Ben clearly didn’t believe him in the least.  “So why is your way of using me as bait better than mine?”

“Because in my plan, you don’t run off to the nearest planet, blow things up, and wave your lightsaber around until Kyla Ren comes to kill you.”

“I wasn’t going to blow things up!”  Hux raised an eyebrow.  “I wasn’t going to blow  _ many  _ things up.”

“Mm.”

“I wasn’t!”  Their bickering was interrupted as another group swept in to use the room next.  Hux was happy for the moment’s reprieve that proved to last merely a moment after he and Ben left.  “So are you going to be there when you use me as bait?”

Hux frowned.  “I can’t promise that.  You know that I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“That’s not how any of this works.”

“It does when you’re in charge.”  Irritated, Hux grabbed Ben’s arm and dragged him down a side corridor so abruptly that the younger man unbalanced and almost fell, waving his free arm around for balance.  “What the kriff?!”

Expression even more serious than usual, Hux released his grip and folded his arms across his chest.  “You understand that we are fighting a war, yes?”

Anger appeared in his dark eyes.  “I’m not a child, Hux.”

“Then don’t act like one,” he replied emphatically.  “We’re soldiers for the Resistance.  We do what we have to do.  Personal feelings are for peace time, if that ever comes again.  Everything must come second to winning the war.”

Ben just stared at him for a moment, throwing Hux off balance.  He was all too used to his temper flying loose at a moment’s notice.  Finally, Ben unclenched his jaw and said, “I was wrong before.  You don’t worship Mom.  You are her.”  Normally, Hux would have taken any favorable comparison to Leia as a compliment but this one certainly wasn’t intended as such.  He held his ground despite all, not blinking.  Ben gave in first, turning and storming off and making it a few steps before he stopped again.  “I wanted you there because I trust you to have my back, okay?”  He didn’t give Hux a chance to respond before rushing off again.

  
Life had, Hux reflected, been far simpler before his heart had the audacity to get feelings involved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I am on a mission to quietly shove as many of my Legends favs into this series as possible. Why bother coming up with a new character when there's an existing one who will work just as well? :P You never know who will be next... actually, that's a lie because I'm about halfway through the next chapter and I already know who the next name drop is. :D

“This is stupid,” Ben complained as they picked their way through some backwater market.  It had been about two weeks since his mom and the other Resistance leaders had signed off on Hux’s plan to draw out the First Order.  He still liked the plan in theory since he wanted to get this inevitable confrontation with Kyla Ren over with but he wasn’t as much of a fan of it in practice  _ and _ he was fairly sure that Hux had sent him on one of the first few missions on purpose.  His stupid, stuck-up boyfriend would insist that it had nothing to do with revenge or avoiding any of their issues but he was pretty sure that it had everything to do with both of those.  It didn’t matter who was right though because he was still on this stupid planet where he was fairly sure half the people had never even heard of Hosnian Prime and had nothing to do for three whole days. 

“It’s not stupid, it’s boring,” Myri Antilles corrected him, pausing to inspect a fruit stand.  She was his assigned intelligence handler for this particular run.  Supposedly, she was there to offer advice and serve as back up should he need it but he knew that she was really there to keep him in line or whatever.  At least she had a sense of humor.

“Same difference.”

“Not really.”

“How?”

“Stupid implies that there’s no reasoning behind what we’re doing,” she explained matter-of-factly.  “And there’s definitely a point to this.  It’s just not very exciting.  Most Intelligence work isn’t.  It just sounds like it’d be.  We have fun with it when we can but the assignments are always boring at their core.”

Ben stared at her, irritation radiating.  Everyone was so stupidly logical all the time.  He hated it.  “Shouldn’t you be some hot shot pilot or something?”

Myri didn’t miss a beat.  “Shouldn’t you be some ace diplomat or something?”

He exhaled.  Loudly.  “I hate this.”

“I know,” she said, tossing a piece of fruit at him that he just barely caught.  “At least try and have some fun?  Or do something besides scowl the entire time.”

“Like what?”

“Trust me, you don’t want me to start tossing out ideas.”  He was already starting to shift uncomfortably when she flashed him a smile.  “Relax, Ben.  It’s all stupid stuff.  Although you’d look good with green hair…”

Ben flushed.  “I am not dyeing my hair green!”

“Not even if we get a shade to match your lightsaber?”

“No!”

She shrugged.  “Hey to each their own.  Come on, the cantina near the spaceport is halfway decent.  Or what passes for decent on this side of the galaxy.  Might as well enjoy getting paid to drink when you can.”

“Wait you get paid for this?”

“Only in hopes and dreams and patriotism.”

“Oh.  Right.”

It wasn’t until they were both seated at the cantina’s bar with mediocre drinks in hand that Ben brought up an issue that had been nagging at him since they’d been assigned this job.  “Can I ask you something?”  She nodded.  “Intelligence agents are supposed to be sneaky, right?”  She nodded again.  “So doesn’t,” he waved vaguely at her blue and hot pink streaked hair, “make being sneaky hard?”

Myri smirked and quickly reached out to cover his eyes with a hand.  “What color are my eyes?  What about my necklace?  What’s my shirt look like?  What side of my face do I have a scar on?”

“Uhm…” Ben said, trying to recall even though they’d been together all day.

“Exactly.”  She removed her hand and sat back again.  “People notice the hair but that’s all they usually notice and I can change it any time I want.  If we were trying to hide from security holocams, I could do some stuff to alter my facial structure a little enough to throw off any recognition programs but we’re not trying to hide, are we?”

Ben couldn’t help but stare at her again as he look a long drink from his tankard.  “You’re really not what I expected.”

She shrugged.  “You say that like you’ve never met me before.”

“Well yeah but it’s not like you were running around with blue hair and spying on people when we were teenagers,” he clarified.  “But I guess people change.”

“You did too,” Myri observed.  “Not that I blame you.”

It was impossible not to think about his uncle and the other Jedi and how everything had gone wrong in less than a decade.  If he drank a few more of these tankards, maybe he’d even start thinking about how maybe this wasn’t the person he was supposed to be and how he wasn’t supposed to be doing any of this alone.  He settled for drinking more from the one already in his hand.  “So we really have to just sit around for three days.”

“No, you have to be on this planet and be noticed for three days.  Sitting around was not specified in the orders.”

The innocuous tone made him raise an eyebrow.  “What are you thinking?”

“This isn’t the safest town.  I bet there are plenty of people out there who could use a Jedi’s help…”

Realization dawned.  “You want me to play the hero.”

“No, I want you to  _ be _ a Jedi hero,” she corrected him.  “You’re an Organa Solo; it should come pretty naturally to you and what’s going to catch the First Order’s attention faster than reports of a lightsaber?”

“Probably not much.”  Ben grinned, liking this more and more even though he was pretty sure certain people back at the Resistance wouldn’t.  Honestly, anything sounded like a better idea than doing nothing but spin in a chair on some stupid planet he didn’t even like.  “When can we start?”

“How’s now work for you?”

“...okay.”

Myri gestured for him to finish his drink and did the same with her own before clapping him on the shoulder.  “Welcome to the world of Intelligence, Ben.  We have way more fun with the rules than the military.”

~

“Colonel, there are more than a few action items that require your attention,” Kalin said, brow furrowed as she studied her datapad.

Hux barely looked up from his work.  There was simply too much to be done.  “I know, ask Teravo to deal with them.”

“He has.  These are the ones that he felt needed your decision as the commanding officer of the  _ Adamant _ .”

“Oh.”  Reluctantly, he tore himself away from his current headache involving hyperspace vectors for a mission that was two weeks away.  All of his attention as of late had been completely focused on the newly christened Operation Apate.  He’d thought that perhaps Leia was being overly nice in placing the project under his command since he was involved in her son but he was now realizing that being in charge of this undertaking was anything but nice.  He’d barely seen Ben except in their quarters at night for the few hours he was able to sleep and for the occasional meal.  There were staff assigned to the operation on a permanent basis, of course, but he still felt obliged to review every move and its potential ramifications before approving it.  Add that to the weekly reports he delivered to Resistance leadership and it was hardly surprising that the  _ Adamant _ had been neglected.  Hux pinched the bridge of his nose.  “How bad has it gotten?”

“With complete honesty?”

“Ideally.”

Kalin’s posture straightened a little.  “It’s fine for now while the  _ Adamant _ remains in orbit around D’Qar but she’s going to need a proper captain again before very long and most certainly before she’s sent into battle.”

“Which I have not been,” Hux said bluntly.

Her dark eyes widened a little.  “I didn’t mean to--”

He cut her off with a wave.  “No need for any sort of apology.  I asked for honesty.”  Turning away, he leaned heavily against the console, taking a moment to consider the matter even though he knew what he had to do.  “She’s a good ship.  I won’t lie and claim that I didn’t feel better walking through her corridors again but she deserves better than an absentee captain and Teravo shouldn’t be stuck with the executive officer title when he’s her commanding officer in all but name.”  Kalin didn’t say anything, understanding that he needed to just talk through this. Straightening, he clasped his hands behnd his back.  “See when General Celchu has a few minutes in his schedule today and then I’ll go up and speak to Ele personally.”

Her fingers were already flying.  “He’s in a meeting with Admiral Ackbar but he’ll have time in about an hour.”

“Good,” Hux said.  It was better to deal with these sorts of matters sooner rather than later.  No need to keep the bandage on any longer than necessary.  “Now.  It will ultimately be Teravo’s decision but I’d like to recommend to him that you--”  She cut him off with a shake of her head.  He frowned.  “What?”

“I’d prefer to request assignment to Operation Apate.”

Hux’s eyes narrowed.  “What happened to sticking with the command track that we had you on?”

“We’re with the Resistance now, Hux.  There’s not exactly a command track.  Besides, this is where I think I can be of the most use.”

“I appreciate your loyalty but--”

Kalin cut him off.  “This isn’t about you, Colonel.  My skills are better suited to this sort of project and--” She stopped mid-sentence, clearly thinking better of whatever she’d been about to say but her body language betrayed her anyways as her eyes flicked over to glance at Korr who was working on a project for Leia a few consoles over.  

Hux couldn’t stop himself from raising both eyebrows.  That was… certainly new information.  “Is this--”

She flushed.  “Please don’t, Colonel.”

“I seem to recall a certain discussion last year that  _ I _ wished to avoid and yet--”

It was one of the only times that Hux could ever recall Kalin running away from a conversation.  Admittedly, it was nice to turn the tables for once.  Kalin and Korr Sella… Well, if it made her happy...

The amused feeling didn’t last for long as the conversation with Tycho was far more difficult than he’d imagined.  The general sat there quietly as Hux outlined the reasons why he was relinquishing command of the ship he loved so much and had missed dearly when he’d resigned his commission from the New Republic.  When he fell silent, Tycho simply raised an eyebrow.  “Are you sure about this?”

He nodded.  “It’s hardly my first choice, sir, but it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know what that ship means to you,” Tycho said.

“It was just an assignment albeit one that I mistakenly grew somewhat attached to but I never expected to stay assigned to her forever.”

“The day you willingly admit to any sort of sentiment or any emotion you deem outside the realm of professionalism will be a very warm one on Hoth.”

“I was raised to believe that unnecessary sentiment was--”

“--unbecoming of an officer,” Tycho finished for him.  “Yes, I believe you’ve said that once or twice before.”  Hux’s only response was to grit his teeth and the Alderaanian couldn’t help but smile.  “You’re in the Resistance now, Hux.  Relax a little.  We’re the furthest thing from ancient Imperial protocol.”

“So you’ve told me, sir.”

Tycho didn’t say anything for a moment, blue eyes glancing back down to his datapad again.  “Is it your recommendation that Captain Teravo be confirmed as the  _ Adamant’s _ permanent commanding officer?”

“Given my experiences working with him over the years he served as my executive officer, I cannot think of a better choice,” Hux said with a nod.  “He knows her as well as I do and he’s essentially been filling the role ever since I resigned my commission.”

He nodded again, tapping a few buttons on his datapad before looking up again.  “Very well, Captain Ele Teravo is officially in command of the  _ Adamant _ and you are assigned solely to Operation Apate.”  He paused.  “I assume you’d like to deliver the news to Teravo personally?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tycho passed him two datacards.  “New sets of orders for both of you.”

Hux pocketed both and saluted smartly.  

His conversation with Teravo didn’t go much better.  The Mirialan seemed torn between being pleased that he finally had his own permanent command and concerned that Hux was giving up the  _ Adamant _ .  Apparently it was an ill-kept secret how much he liked that ship.  It only took a few minutes to clear out what few things he had from his former office and was only slightly less bittersweet than the last time he’d done this.  He found some sort of dark humor in how he’d willingly given up the  _ Adamant _ both times and yet it still left him in a foul mood.  There would be other ships but none of them would ever be the  _ Adamant _ .

There was only one way that Hux had ever learned to counter emotions he had no desire to deal with: work.  Conveniently, Operation Apate required all of his attention anyways.  The missions wouldn’t plan themselves and besides, he needed to prepare for the eventual argument with Admiral Statura about diverting troops and supplies to their fake base.  

He worked straight through the evening meal hour and only relocated to his quarters once a cleaning droid chased him out of room.  He wasn’t even sure what the time was anymore; only that they’d certainly moved on to the next day cycle.  Half asleep but still hunched over his datapad, he didn’t hear the door hiss open and didn’t even realize anyone had entered until they spoke.  

“Hey.  I’m back.”

Jolting upright, he dropped the datapad as he turned.  “Ben?”

The younger man raised an eyebrow at him, leaning against the doorframe.  “Is there someone else who has the code to our room?”

“No, I just--”  Hux sighed, rubbing sleep from his eyes.  “I wasn’t expecting you back for another cycle.”  

“Myri was able to coax a little more speed out of the engines and we plotted a pretty aggressive hyperspace route back so we’re here now.”

“I see.”

Annoyed and clearly off put, Ben crossed his arms.  “What?  Did you already get some story back about how we screwed up the mission?  Do you want my report now or something?”

Finally awake again, Hux hastened to shake his head and rise to his feet.  “No, we haven’t heard anything.  Reports can wait until tomorrow.  Forgive me, I’m simply tired and surprised to see you.”  He hesitated, realizing how true the words were as they tumbled from his lips.  “I missed you.”

Those three words were apparently all Ben needed to hear for his brewing irritation to melt away and he crossed the distance between them in two long strides.  “I missed you too.  I’ve  _ been _ missing you.”

“I know,” Hux said as he grabbed at Ben’s jacket, pulling him close and burying his face in his boyfriend’s broad chest for a moment before raising it again and pressing a kiss to his pulse point.  

Ben swallowed hard, hands already roaming and freeing Hux’s shirt from his pants so they could slip beneath.  “Don’t you have work to do?”

“It can wait.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

~

Ben felt more relaxed the next day that he had in ages.  Last night had been the most normal things had felt between him and Hux since they’d left Hosnian Prime months ago.  He could tell that Hux was actually glad to see him by how he’d been so unwilling to stop touching him even after they’d finished and curled up to sleep.  If that hadn’t been enough, Hux’s lips kissing a trail down his chest and stomach as a wake up call would have done that.  Somehow, Ben had even managed to convince him start to his day an hour later than usual  _ and _ to actually eat breakfast with him in the mess.  

When they’d finished, Hux had kissed him on the lips and said, “I have work to do but I’ll see you and Antilles later for your debrief.  Please don’t forget to be thorough with your report.  And be on time.”

And now here they were.  (He’d been almost on time.  That had to count for something.)  (Also how had Myri had time to dye her hair bright green  _ and _ still beat him to the debriefing?)

“Here you go, Colonel,” Myri said casually once they were all present, passing Hux a datacard and then straddling a chair backwards.  Hux raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.  “Should be everything but there’s not much to report.  It was pretty boring as far as missions go.  Well mostly boring.”

“No encounters with the Knights of Ren?”

Ben felt like he should be offended or something that Hux and Liselle were giving him identical, mildly expectant looks.  “It’s not like I just go somewhere and Kyla Ren appears ten minutes later!”

“Mm,” Hux responded noncommittally.  “Do you think you were recognized by enough people?”  Guiltily, Myri and Ben exchanged looks, something that did not go unnoticed by either of their debriefers.  “Antilles, I’d prefer that you just tell me whatever happened instead of making me drag it out of both of you one syllable at a time.”

Myri seemed to be focusing on speaking directly to Liselle for some reason.  “Okay so let me start by saying that we were definitely seen by plenty of people on planet, that the mission was a success,  _ and _ that I think it was an improvement on the original plan.”  

Hux immediately spun and centered his glare on Ben.  “What did you do?”

“How do you know it was me?”

“Ben.”

“Okay fine!”  If he hadn’t been there himself, Ben would’ve had no clue that he and Hux had been so happy this morning.  He was like a totally different person when he was working.  “We may have uhh… it was just so boring sitting around and I could actually help people and--”

“Ben.”

“He helped people,” Myri broke in.  “Hypori got its very own Jedi hero for a few days.”  

Hux took a deep breath and pursed his lips, expression otherwise unreadable.  Through the Force, Ben could feel his barely contained anger. “Perhaps I misheard.  Would you repeat that last bit again?”

“Parts of Hypori had a Jedi protector for a couple of days.”  Hux dropped his head into his hands and muttered a curse.  Liselle raised an eyebrow at the other woman, prompting her to continue.  “We didn’t do anything ridiculous.  Ben just interrupted a couple of muggings in some alleyways, definitely stopped a murder or two, and I’m pretty sure he also saved a little kid from being kidnapped.”

“That’s a lot for three days,” Liselle commented.

She shrugged.  “There’s a lot of bad things happening on Hypori and no one else was stopping them.”

Hux looked up again, shaking his head.  “It’s a damned miracle that the First Order didn’t come swooping in with blasters blazing and kill you both.  What the blazes were you thinking, waving your lightsaber around like that?”

Ben’s mouth was open, ready to snap back but Myri got there first.  “Actually, it was my idea, Colonel.  I had to talk him into it.”

There was a pause as the angry redhead considered her words.  “That surprises me to hear.”

“Our orders were broadly worded.”  Myri was leaning forward with her forearms braced on the chair back now, going intense stare for intense stare with Hux.  Ben was kind of impressed.  “We were careful about who we helped and I was monitoring all of the off-world communications and satellites the entire time.  If we’d even seen a hint of the First Order, we would have left immediately.”  

“You took a risk.”

“It seemed warranted.”

“Isn’t the whole point of this operation thing that you’re using me as bait?” Ben broke in impatiently.   “Amongst other people and as part of a broader scheme, yes.”

“Well I was being really noisy bait.  While helping people.”

“It’s not the worst thing that could have happened,” Liselle murmured, having seen how these confrontations between Ben and Hux had gone down in the past.  “It’s early enough days for Apate that their Intelligence branch won’t be suspicious even if it was a bit flashy.”

Hux nodded, hands behind his back as he stood with that stupidly straight military posture of his.  “True but we’ll have to factor this into the next set of mission assignments.”

Liselle shrugged.  “It’s just another data point amongst dozens we’re already looking at.”

Ben’s frustration finally bubbled over.  “Look, I helped people, okay?  That’s what Jedi are supposed to do!  Most people would be happy that I’m following the Jedi path or whatever nexu shavit you want to call it.”

“I’m concerned about your and Ms. Antilles’ safety,” Hux said cooly with a nod towards Myri, “and about potential ramifications moving forward.  Not about--”

“Well I liked helping people.  And it was a better use of time than sitting in a cantina and drinking for three days.”

“That planet’s lomin ale just… really isn’t good,” Myri said, making a face.  “No one should have to drink it for an hour much less three days.”

Hux stared at them both, eyes flitting back and forth between their two faces, evaluating.  Finally, he said, “I’ll need to read your full report.”

“If you have any questions, I’m on base for at least the next five days,” Myri said with a smile.  “The Cracken doesn’t have me headed out until then.” 

Ben silently mouthed ‘The Cracken?’ at Myri and she just shrugged.  He wondered if anyone ever referred to the aging general by that to his face.

“Excellent,” Hux murmured in response, already popping the datacard into his datapad so he could review its contents.  “Thank you and I’ll let you know if I need anything further.”

For an Admiral’s daughter, Myri’s salute was probably the least military precise thing Ben had ever seen and that was saying something coming from him.  “Sure thing.”

Hux just nodded in response making Ben roll his eyes.  It was useless trying to talk to him when he was wearing his oh-so-serious officer hat so he turned to follow Myri out of the conference room.  He could still hear the quiet exchange between Liselle and Hux.

“You know… this might actually be a good thing, Hux.”

“I know.”

“We’ve been so focused on the military and logistical aspects that we forgot about propaganda.”

“Which was foolish of us.”

Hux so infrequently admitted to being wrong that Ben couldn’t help but linger just outside the door so he could hear more.

“It makes sense to focus on protecting the last Jedi when everyone’s trying to kill him so it’s not completely unreasonable that we missed it.”  Liselle paused for a moment.  “At least they messed with your plan by having a good idea instead of a bad one.”

The eyeroll was almost audible.  “Just look over their report and help me figure out these new variables.”

Liselle bit back a snort a laughter.  “Sir yes sir.”

It was around the time that Hux started muttering that he hadn’t signed up for any of this nonsense that Ben decided he probably needed to be anywhere but right where he was anymore.  Hux would get over it.  Probably.  


	5. Chapter 5

As much as Hux hated to admit it, the Jedi Hero of Hypori ploy did the trick.  In fact, it was a good enough ploy that it had born repeating two more times thus far.  They had to be cautious and use the tactic sparingly so First Order Intelligence wouldn’t catch on to their trap.  Hux had, however, been sure to pair Ben with a Resistance Intelligence agent who was far less likely to be a bad influence when it came to these sorts of missions.  One new variable was more than enough for now.  Then again, perhaps he should have realized earlier that the unorthodox Wedge Antilles’ youngest daughter would be just as at home thinking outside of the box as her father was.  The ever changing hair color was still a mystery to him. 

Operation Apate was working though or at least it felt like it was.  Cracken had sent his people far and wide throughout their decoy system in deep cover to keep an eye on the results.  There were almost as many people involved as there were in Apate proper.  It was just far less exciting.  (Not that many people besides Hux found this sort of data analysis to be exciting.)  At least he felt like he was making progress against the First Order.  

It was after the fourth time they ran the Jedi Hero mission when they finally got results.  Coincidentally, it was also the first significant break that they had had in months.   

For once, Hux had actually taken a mission for himself.  They needed to move a fleet through the system and noticeably stop for refueling and resupplying. On the off chance that something went wrong, it required a ranking officer to oversee things and so Tycho had slyly suggested that Hux go along especially since the _Adamant_ was amongst the small fleet.  (He found it amusing that he’d been assigned Ben’s former quarters since his were obviously now occupied.)  Truth be told, it hadn’t taken much convincing.  It had been months since he’d left D’Qar and one could only stare at the bunker’s rock walls for so long before going moderately mad.  

Ben’s ship rendezvoused with the fleet within hours of reaching the planet.  Hux had even greeted him personally in the hangar bay partially because he’d missed him over the last week and partially because he had nothing better to do on this mission.  There wasn’t much to supervise when things were going well.  His boyfriend called him on it almost immediately.   

“You must be bored,” Ben said with a grin as he strode down the boarding ramp.

Hux merely shrugged in response.  “We have your old quarters if you’d like to drop your things off.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “We?”

He tilted his head a little to the right.  “It seemed prudent.”

“Yeah.  Uh-huh.  Can I kiss you already?”

Instead of responding verbally, Hux merely closed the distance between them and kissed him hard.  Technically, this was breaking his rules about public displays of affection but no one else was around and they weren’t really a secret anymore.  Ben had no such qualms as he pulled him towards him, eagerly responding to the kiss in kind.  It was more than a few moments before they parted again, Hux clearing his throat and straightening his uniform.

Ben bent to retrieve his bag from where it’d fallen, slinging it over his shoulder before starting towards the appropriate turbolift.  Clearly his muscle memory was still comfortable with the ship.  “So can I just give you a verbal report on the mission now or are you going to make me write something again?”

“Written reports are important for continuity and record keeping.”

“So no then.”

“You can give me an abbreviated version now though, if you wish.”

“It went good.  I saved more people.  The Knights of Ren didn’t show up.  Wran stayed behind to keep an eye on things for a few days.  Nothing new.”

“And this is why I insist on a written report.”

“You said an abbreviated version was fine.”

“There’s a difference between abbreviated and sparse.”

“Whatever.”

Before Hux could respond, his comlink began beeping insistently.  “Hux.”

_“Colonel, you’re going to want to get up here,”_ Kalin said, tone more serious than usual.

He immediately picked up on it.  “What’s the situation?”

_“You’ve got an incoming call from General Organa and General Cracken.”_

“I’ll be right there.” Hurriedly, he clicked the device off and smack a button to redirect the turbolift to a different floor.

Ben frowned.  “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Hux said tersely.  “Trouble most likely.”  As he stepped into the communications room right off the bridge and saw the concern on both Cracken’s and Leia’s faces, he decided that he hated being right.  Kalin, Teravo, and Jayne Forge, the _Adamant’s_ new executive officer, didn’t look happy either.  “Ma’am, sir,” he said in greeting as he stepped into the camera’s range.  “I take it there is a situation?”

“An opportunity,” Leia corrected him.  “If we handle this correctly.”

His only response was to raise an eyebrow as Cracken spoke.  “Wran Narcassan’s just sent us a report and it looks like the First Order already heard about Jedi Solo’s antics on planet.”

Hux leaned forward.  “How many ships?”

“Three plus whatever starfighters they might have.”

“That sounds like a lot for one man.”

“Depends on who the man is.”

Leia interrupted, “Hux, yours is the closest fleet we have and I don’t want to risk giving up this chance by sending one from here.  They’d be at least fifteen hours delayed.  I need you to set course for there immediately and take them on.  I don’t need to tell you that a win would be significant in more ways than one.” 

She didn’t.  The First Order’s mere presence there was proof that their plan was beginning to work and that the Jedi hero gambit had been worth it.  This was a chance to further sell the illusion that the Resistance was nearby and considered the surrounding planets to be important.  Squaring his shoulders, Hux nodded curtly.  “Is there anything else about their forces that you can tell me?” 

“We’ll send you what data Wran’s collected on their ships but I hope to have more by the time you come out of hyperspace,” Leia answered.  “I’ll also be diverting Captain Varth’s ship your way as she’s closest.  I suspect she won’t arrive in time to have a significant impact on the battle but I’d rather be safe than sorry.” 

“Understood, ma’am.” 

“May the Force be with you.” 

Leia and Cracken’s holograms had just barely flickered out of existence when Hux turned towards his fellow officers.  “Werth, I need that data from D’Qar on my datapad as soon as we get it.  Brief the other captains on the mission.  Teravo--”

“Use the _Adamant_ as your flag,” Teravo interrupted him.

He acknowledged it with a nod.  “Thank you.  I need your navigational officer to identify a set of coordinates a microjump away from the target, plot a course, and send the data to the other ships.  Make sure everyone on board is combat ready as soon as we come out of hyperspace.  We’re going to need what starfighters we have.”  Teravo didn’t wait for a dismissal but half ran out of the room, Forge in tow.  Hux finally turned towards the Jedi.  “Ben, if you’d like to head to D’Qar back now--”

“I’ll stay.”

Hux didn’t have the time to argue.  Kalin was already pulling up the ship data from the Resistance so they could begin their analysis.  Despite the high stress situation, a very small part of him was pleased by this turn of events.  He’d fought battles as a part of a fleet and with his own ship as the lone combatant but he’d never commanded a fleet in actual combat before.  It was hardly worth calling a handful of ships a fleet but that didn’t take away from the feeling of anticipation.  Finally, he had a chance to put his own strategies into practical use and take a break from the endless flow of reports.  It was enough to make him smile.  Almost.

The next few hours flew by.  By some miracle, they managed to pull together something resembling a plan during the hyperspace jump that took them to an empty part of space only a few seconds in hyperspace away from their intended target.  They were taking a moment to regroup, analyze the additional ship data, and make contact with Varth.  They only lingered and waited on the latter now.  Hux paced back and forth on the _Adamant’s_ bridge, trying to find a happy medium between allowing Teravo his space and authority as her commanding officer and his own responsibilities to the entire fleet.  An amused look from Ben finally made him halt and lean on his command console.  He still wasn’t entirely sure why Ben had insisted on coming along after they had been redirected instead of returning to D’Qar but there he was.  If Hux did his job right, there would be no need for any combat involving a weapon smaller than an x-wing’s cannon and yet the Jedi was there taking up space on his bridge anyways.  Typical.

“We have an estimated arrival time from Captain Varth,” Kalin said, interrupting his musings.  “It’s well within the required range.”

“Good,” Hux said curtly.  “Make sure she receives all battle updates as we have them and that she alerts us as soon as she arrives at this rendezvous point.  I may need her ship sooner than I’d prefer.”

“Understood.”

He raised his voice.  “Captain Teravo.”

Teravo turned.  “Colonel?”

“Prepare to jump the fleet on my mark,” Hux instructed, keeping his voice steady.  There was a flurry of activity below as the entire bridge sprung into action, standing ready at their battlestations.  He gave the communications and navigation teams across all three ships a few moments before starting his countdown.  “Three… two… one… mark.”

Almost immediately, the white lines of hyperspace appeared around them, stretching and forming the white tunnel of hyperspace for all of a few moments before the dark of space welcomed them back again.  The First Order was still there.

“Shields up and fire!” Hux ordered.  He was decidedly pleased when the opposing fleet was clearly taken by surprise, more than a few solid blasts hitting their hulls before they could bring their own shields up at full capacity.  The element of surprise didn’t linger for very long though.  In less than ten minutes, TIE fighters were streaming out of the belly of the Star Destroyer.  “I want confirmation that our starfighters are ready to launch on my mark.”

There was barely a pause before Kalin’s steady voice cut across the battle din.  “All captains confirm readiness, sir.”

He acknowledged it with curt nod, blue eyes intent on the tactical readouts before him.  This was his element.  He’d spent far less time running through strategy simulations over the last few years but he still felt a rush of exhilaration as he fought what amounted to a mental battle.  Whoever the opposing commander was… they were good.  He recognized a few of the tactics they were using as the Commandant’s; both ones that were taught at the Academy and otherwise.  It was strange yet oddly satisfying to see that they had yet to move past maneuvers that had been new before the first Death Star was destroyed.  Perhaps it wasn’t just the New Republic that had stagnated.

Half of their starfighters had launched; a mixture of x-wings and a-wings with enough shields and speed to be more than a match than the upgraded and improved TIE fighters.  The Star Destroyer continued to be a problem but the Resistance was holding its own.  Not for the first time, Hux’s fingers itched to have the power of a fully operational Star Destroyer at his command.  Their weapons systems could be devastating when used correctly and he even appreciated the propaganda value.  So many years hadn’t passed that that the entire galaxy had forgotten that initial gasp of worry when a Star Destroyer appeared in the stars above them.  But none of that mattered.  He’d have to make do with the Mon Calamari ships he had at his disposal which were more than adequate.  Some biases apparently stayed with you even after over a decade away from the source.

It was far from a speedy battle.  The First Order was unprepared but they had stronger forces.  It was with quiet pride that Hux noted the Resistance was gaining the upper hand slowly but surely and for once, time was on their side.  

Kalin looked up from her own station where she was serving as the communications coordinator for all of the Resistance ships.  “Captain Varth is in position."

“Good,” Hux replied absently.  “Tell her to stand by… I almost have them where I want them.”

“Understood.”

What he still needed was a distraction.  As he studied the battle plans before them, the way forward became blatantly obvious even if it was painfully ironic.  He had to use himself as bait after months of lecturing Ben about the dangers of doing exactly that.  The galaxy was funny like that.  Tragically.  “Comms, begin hailing the First Order’s flagship,” Hux instructed calmly.  

Teravo frowned and looked up from his own work even as the communications officer acknowledged.  “Colonel?  Are you sure about that?”

“Consider it productive curiosity, Captain,” Hux replied.  “It costs us nothing to hail them and I’m interested to see who’s commanding their fleet.  I suspect I’ll recognize them if their tactics thus far are any indicator and that they in turn will recognize me.”

“That’s supposed to be a good thing?”

“Potentially.  I need their attention.”

“Right.”  Teravo backed off again, brow furrowed as he looked his own console.  

It was several minutes before a very easily excitable communications officer almost bounced out of his seat trying to get Hux’s attention.  Most likely, he was a new addition from the Resistance because he certainly wasn’t one of the _Adamant’s_ crew from her days with the New Republic.  “Sir, their Star Destroyer is responding to our hails!”

“Put them through to me, Lieutenant” Hux replied tersely, tapping a few buttons to accept the communication on his console.  The First Order had never shown much interest in talking before and he was surprised that they were deciding to do so now but he certainly wasn’t going to complain if they wanted to take the bait now.  It was a testament to his self-control that he didn’t so much as flinch when the image of the First Order’s commander resolved itself on the screen.  It was a face he knew all too well, framed by red hair the exact shade of his own.  “Alys.”

The younger sister he hadn’t seen in over a dozen years didn’t flinch either.  “Brendol.”

“A Lieutenant Colonel’s rank band; you must have finally improved your tactical scores at the Academy to hold such a rank and post.”

“And yours must have faltered if you’ve yet to rise any further than this.”

Hux tilted his head to the side in a sort of shrug, a habit he'd picked up from their mother.  “The New Republic and now the Resistance are less desperate to fill their ranks. We prefer to promote on merit and experience.”

“I’m sure,” Alys sneered.  “The Rebellion always was eager to accept traitors and cowards.  You must've fit right in.”

He refrained from sighing at the obvious jab, instead merely raising an eyebrow.  “I have a job to do, little sister, so unless you intend to offer your surrender (which you most certainly should feel free to do,) I’d like to return to defeating your forces.”

"And here I was about to give you the same option."

Right on cue, Kalin handed him a datapad with an update on the battle proceedings.  He nodded his thanks even as he glanced down, taking in the latest ship locations quickly.  They certainly had their attention now as the First Order ships turned to focus on the _Adamant_.  With a flick of a finger, he authorized Captain Varth’s microjump.  "Given that I have your starfighters outnumbered two-to-one and that we've just disabled your ventral cannon, I think not."

She shrugged, a mirror of his own from before.  "Wars have been won with less."

"Wars, not battles."  Hux straightened, returning the datapad to his aide and clasping his hands behind his back.  "The First Order will not take this planet.  Out of respect for our shared blood, I will offer you the chance to withdraw.  No one else needs to die today."

Her eyes narrowed.  “You’ve gone soft, Brendol.”

“Have I?”

Alys didn't respond for a moment, distracted and gaze locked on something out of the holocamera's range that he suspected was a report similar to the one he'd just received except with one very tiny new detail.  "You kept one of your capital ships in reserve."

He nodded.  "My offer only remains good for another forty-five seconds."

She bit her lower lip, considering her response for a moment.  "I don't know who Father would be more disappointed in: you for using one of his tactics or me for not recognizing it," Alys finally said, tucking an invisible strand of hair back behind her ear.

Pushing aside the emotions that the mere mention of Brendol Hux Senior brought forth took a considerable amount of effort even though he knew she hadn't done so to be deliberately cruel.  "It would be me.  Obviously.  You have twenty-eight seconds remaining."

There was a long moment of hesitation before she turned towards what he assumed was her executive officer and said, "Recall the TIE fighters."

"Excellent choice."

"Don't gloat," she snapped, only sparing a quick glance towards him.

"I would never," Hux murmured.

Alys returned her attention to her executive officer.  "Captain Shay, set a hyperspace course back to base."

As Hux issued orders to his own people to allow the First Order to retreat, he silently appreciated the surety with which she commanded her troops even in defeat.  He'd outsmarted her today but she'd clearly inherited the family affinity for strategy and command.  The pragmatic part of him was... proud of her despite circumstances.

"Don't expect me to ever return the courtesy," she said, blue eyes hard as she finally returned her attention to him.

"And nor should you expect a repeat.  This will create enough reports as it is."  He paused, hesitation driven by an emotion he refused to name.  "Give Mother my regards?"

Alys's expression softened the tiniest fraction.  "Of course. I think she still misses you even if she doesn’t say so.  Not that she could."

"Do you?"  The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

For a moment, it looked like she was going to say yes but the habitual military blankness snapped back the next second.  "I don't miss traitors."

Hux pursed his lips.  "Your fanaticism is starting to bore me, little sister.  Run back to the Supreme Leader."

"It's preferable to kneeling at Organa's feet in service of a broken Republic," she countered harshly, leaning forward to terminate the conversation but paused and caught his gaze again.  “Oh and Brendol?” Alys wrinkled her nose in disgust.  “Those uniforms should be considered a war crime."

She cut the communication line before Hux could respond but, if he was honest with himself, he really couldn't disagree.  With a sigh, he stepped away from the communications console, ignoring the multiple pairs of nearby eyes that glanced his way.  He wasn't foolish enough to think that his little family reunion would have gone completely unnoticed but he'd hoped that only one or two would care.  One pair of dark eyes in particular positively sparkled with amusement.  "Not a word from you," he snapped, as he walked past.

Ben grinned from where he was sat at a free console, long legs sprawled across the floor.  "But I know so many of them."

“Get off my bridge, Solo,” Hux snapped.  “There’s much more work to do.”

“There’s really not,” Kalin murmured quietly enough so that only he could heard her.  “We won, sir.”

Turning, he stepped back towards his console, volume matching hers.  “Yes well _he_ doesn’t need to know that.”   

“Of course, sir,” she replied, suppressing a grin.  “I’ll start collecting the battle reports from the rest of the fleet.”

His words of thanks were cut off by a jubilant Teravo slapping him on the back.  “Did you see that, Hux?  They ran and we won!”

“Technically, I offered them the chance to retreat.”

“Oh would you just be happy for once in your life?  We won!  We beat them again!”

Hux shook his head with amusement and glanced back down at his console.  Not for the first time, he was relieved to have plenty of work before him to focus on so he didn’t have to deal personal matters.  He just barely had enough emotional capacity right now to process his unexpected family reunion and none left over for Ben Organa Solo regardless of their feelings for each other.  Battle clean up now, family drama later, smug Jedi-boyfriend who would undoubtedly ask him a million questions even later than that.

~

“Do you want to talk about your sister?”

Hux sighed.  The door to their quarters had barely even shut and already Ben was bringing up the topic he most definitely did not want to discuss.  “Why must you insist on doing this?”

“Oh.  Sorry.”  The look in Ben’s eyes definitely said that he wasn’t sorry.

“It’s a fourteen hour flight back to D’Qar.  I have a combat assessment to write on top of the usual mission report and I’d like to get at least four hours of sleep before we land.  That leaves very little time for discussing trivial matters.”

“Hey a long lost sister’s not exactly trivial.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Hux sighed.  “Alys was never lost.  I’ve always known that she’s a part of the First Order.  I’m the one who left, if you’ll recall.”

Ben rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  Sister you haven’t seen in like a hundred years.  Yes, I _know_ that it hasn’t actually been a hundred!”

“What part of ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ was unclear?”

“You never actually said that.”

“I don’t wish to discuss my sister or any thoughts or emotions I may have related to her.”

“Well fine.”  Ben sighed dramatically, staring at the ceiling for a few long moments before rolling onto his side.  “Hey.”  Hux raised an eyebrow.  “Did I tell you how hot you looked on the bridge earlier?”

Hux was proud of himself for not physically reacting.  Instead, he finished undoing his jacket fastenings and draped the garment over the back of a chair and tried to remind himself of the timeframe he’d mentioned only minutes ago because _damn it_ it wasn’t fair that his boyfriend could so easily turn him on like this.  “Ben.  Which part of ‘I have work to do and I’d like to get at least some sleep’ did you not understand?”

With a wave of his hand, Ben summoned his comlink with the Force and flicked it on.  It only took a few moments for someone to respond.

_“Werth.”_

“Hey Kalin, is there anything that Hux has to do for the next six hours?”

Her resigned sigh was more than audible because she clearly knew why the Jedi was calling.   _“Ben, please don’t drag me into the middle of this.”_

Hux’s fingertips went to his temples even as Ben grinned broadly.  “The middle of what?”

_“Ben.”_

“Just answer the question, please.”

_“Ugh.  No, probably not.  All of the ships are still pulling together their own in depth combat assessments.  The captains won’t sign off on them for a few hours and it’ll take a little bit of time for me to do a quick review of all the reports before I can pass them onto the C--”_

“Great, thanks!”  He cut off her response mid-word and tossed the comlink back onto the desk, cushioning its landing with the Force.  “See?  You have time for us _and_ more sleep than you wanted.”

“You’re incorrigible, do you know that?”

“You never answered my question before.”

“And what question would that be?

“Did I tell you how hot you looked giving all those battle orders earlier?”

“I don’t believe you did.”

Ben smirked.  “Well you did.  Made me want to just drop to my knees and suck you off in front of everyone.”

“That may have interfered with my ability to win the battle,” Hux said casually, moving to stand within reach of the bed.  

He shook his head.  “You would’ve been fine.”

He should sleep.  He really should get some rest but his adrenaline levels were still running high.  Winning a battle never failed to be exhilarating especially now that he knew Alys was going to have to tell their father that his traitor son had beaten the First Order again and the Commandant was going to be furious.  Looking down at Ben didn’t help matters because _kriff it all_ he just wanted to tear his clothes off.  It was another moment before he could school his tone and expression into exaggerated disinterest.  “That doesn’t sound like you have much faith in your own abilities.  Perhaps you should prove them.”

In a flash, Ben’s hands were on him, tugging at clothing as he kissed him hard.  Hux really wasn’t sure why Ben was being the one to avoid the conversation he’d tried to initiate with sex but he certainly wasn’t going to start complaining now.

~

By the time they’d returned to D’Qar, any feeling of glee over his victory had vanished and turned into a sinking pit in his stomach.  Leadership had been happy to hear that they’d won but he had a suspicion that they’d be less than pleased with him when they learned about Alys.  Even after all these years of loyal service, it was impossible the shake the feeling of dread because of his damned family.  

Liselle met their shuttle on the landing platform, long blonde hair pulled back in its habitual ponytail.  “Colonel.  Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” he responded as she fell in step with him.  Ben and Kalin were a few paces behind, teasing each other about something to which Hux chose to remain deaf.  “Anything further on the Intelligence front?”

She shrugged.  “What’s there to report yet?  Apate is working.  We just need to double down.  Maybe keep Ben home for a little while.”

“Agreed.  Have you spoken with the Generals yet?”

“No, they’re waiting for your ships to return but they’re going to want to hear from you sooner rather than later.  They’re happy though.  Especially Organa.”

“Good.”

Liselle raised an eyebrow at him.  “You’re not as happy as I expected.”

“This is my happy face.”

“Lying to a spy never works.”

“Afyon.”

“Ooo the last name switch and everything.”  She smirked.  “That’s fine, keep your secrets.”

“Thanks,” Hux said dryly.  They didn’t get much further before running right into Tycho.

“Hux, excellent!  I was hoping that I’d catch you.”  He clapped him on the shoulder.  “Well done, son.  I reviewed the initial report you sent back already.  This is good for Apate and good for the Resistance.”

“Thank you, sir,” Hux said.

Tycho raised an eyebrow, obviously picking up on something being wrong but he didn’t press the issue.  “Are you prepared to talk to leadership now?”

He nodded curtly.  “I have a full report prepared if you think General Organa and the rest would prefer to review first…?”

Shaking his head, Tycho led their little group towards the main briefing room.  Clearly, he’d accurately predicted Hux’s response as all of the necessary ranking Resistance members were already present.  Liselle and Kalin found themselves places along the wall (near Korr Sella, Hux noted) while Teravo, Varth, and the other captains aligned themselves behind him yet hung back a little.  Meanwhile, Ben found himself yet another surface to perch on.  There had to be a reason why that oversize Jedi couldn’t stand or sit in a chair like a normal person but Hux had yet to discover it.

“Colonel, Captains,” Leia greeted them warmly, excitement evident in her eyes.  “I understand that your mission was a resounding success.”

“Yes ma’am, we won,” Hux said, allowing himself the faintest hint of a smile.  “We’ve confirmed that they were there chasing Knight Organa Solo and were able to drive them away from the planet.”

“That’s good to hear,” Admiral Ackbar said in his usual gravely tone.  “Do you have a full report?”

“It’s reaching your datapads now,” Kalin spoke up, already a step ahead.  

Cracken was the only one not to immediately look down at his device.  “Take us through the operation, Hux.”

Squaring his shoulders and grasping his wrist behind his back, Hux began discussing the planning and actual combat details in depth, pausing occasionally to answer questions or to clarify a point.  

“What about casualties?” Admiral Statura asked as he drew to the end of his report.

“Four pilots and an additional two starfighters.”

“Hmm,” he said absently, tapping a few notes to himself.  “We’ll have to work on replacing those.”

“And I’ll personally write letters to their families, if you’ll pass me the details,” Leia cut in smoothly.

“Of course, General.”

Leia caught his gaze and held it.  “This was a job well done, Hux.  We’ll always take any victory we can get but this one is evidence that Operation Apate is working.  Your team is doing good work.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I’ll pass your compliments along.”  Hux hesitated, blue eyes flitting down to the ground for the briefest of moments before moving back again to meet her dark brown ones.  “General, there is one more thing that I feel obliged to report.”  Leia raised an expectant eyebrow and he took a deep breath.  “The First Order’s opposing commander was Lieutenant Colonel Alys Hux.”  He was fairly sure he heard a gasp but didn’t turn to see who it was.  “She is my younger sister and I freely offer to recuse myself from any decisions or discussions involving her.”

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” Leia said smoothly, expression not betraying her thoughts.  

Tycho caught his eye.  “A debrief would be in order though.”

Hux nodded.  “I’m unsure how much useful information I can provide outside of my initial debrief when I defected but I’m happy to do so.”

With a nod, Leia turned back to the rest of the group.  “This is a good victory for us.  We caught them off guard once and we’ll do it again.”  She paused before flashing that smile Hux had come to recognize as her delighted public figure one.  “Dismissed.  Go get yourselves a drink.”

Before he could make an escape, Tycho was at his side.  “Hux.  Take a walk with me.”  Not trusting his voice, Hux nodded and followed the older man out of the briefing room and away from the celebrations.  “How are you doing?” he asked once they were out of earshot.

“I’m fine, sir,” Hux responded automatically.  

Tycho didn’t skip a beat.  “And now how are you actually doing, son?”

Hux clenched his jaw.  “There’s no reason for me not to be fine, sir.  I gave up that part of my life a long time ago.”

“You’re allowed to have emotions,” the older man said calmly.  “No one’s going to accuse you of having First Order sympathies just because you’re unsettled after seeing your sister for the first time in--how many years?”

“Fifteen.”

“Fifteen years.”

Hux stopped abruptly.  “Are you sure about that?  It didn’t take Force powers to pick up on some of those reactions.”

“Those reactions don’t matter.”

“Don’t they?”

“Why?”  Startled, Hux didn’t know how to respond for a moment and Tycho took advantage of his silence.  “Leia and I both know that you’re loyal to the Resistance and so do plenty of others.”

“I was weak,” he murmured inaudibly.  Tycho raised an eyebrow and Hux cleared his throat and spoke up.  “I was weak.  Sir.”

“How?”

“I allowed her the chance to honorably retreat and I don’t think I would have done so if she hadn’t been my younger sister.”

“Son, that’s called being human.”  Hux tried to keep walking but Tycho lightly grabbed his arm and made him stop and actually face him.  “We’d have more cause to be concerned if you were handling all of this like it was just another day.  No one thinks you’re harboring First Order sympathies because you let her retreat.”

“I would if I were in their shoes.”

Tycho sighed.  “Are you?”

“Sir?”

“Are you harboring First Order sympathies?”

“Of course not, sir.”

“Do you have any intention of defecting back to the First Order simply because you saw your sister for the first time in over a decade?”

“General, this is--”

“--ridiculous?” Tycho asked, cutting him off.  

Hux had enough good grace to flush red at the rebuke.  “You’ve made your point.”

“I’m not sure that I have,” he said with a frown.  “I’ve been in this galaxy a lot longer than you have, son, and I’ve picked up a thing or two.  Trust me when I tell you that no one in the Resistance is going to call for you to be removed from your position for something like this.”  Hux acknowledge the words with a nod but otherwise remained silent.  “And talk to someone about all of this.  It doesn’t have to be me or Ben but talk to someone.  Please.  This isn’t your father’s Academy.  You’re allowed to have emotions and a heart.  In fact, we encourage it.”

Hux squeezed his own wrist behind his back again almost hard enough to bruise, focusing on the pain.  He didn’t trust himself otherwise.  “Understood, General.”  Tycho’s expression said that he didn’t entirely believe him.  “If I may, I have work to be done for Operation Apate.  I’m afraid the battle has put us rather behind.”

Sighing, Tycho took a step back and nodded.  “Dismissed.  Think about what I said, Hux..”

  
Saluting smartly, Hux turned and marched off.  Orders were orders.  Perhaps he’d consider it.  Or perhaps he’d settle for trying to push the entire matter right out of his mind entirely.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have NO IDEA how excited I am that I finally get to introduce you all to Alys! I know I'm biased because she's my character but I really love her. If anyone's interested, my casting for her is Sophie Turner and yes, I got stupid excited when pictures of her with Domhnall at the Met Gala appeared. You will see more of her (spoilers!) and I hope that at least some of you end up loving her too. 
> 
> In other news, NaNo certainly is helping with churning out new chapters so hopefully I'll be able to maintain this writing momentum through the rest of the story.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you seemed to like it when I took a stab at Ben's POV so *makes a vague gesture* here you go!
> 
> Also I have a total Celchu bias and I ain't even sorry.

Hux hadn’t talked to anyone about his sister.  (What had her name been again?  Alys?)  Ben didn’t know what Tycho had said when he’d pulled Hux aside right after the mission debriefing but he was pretty sure that the Alderaanian’s advice hadn’t been “shut everyone out” which was exactly what his stupid boyfriend was doing.  

Ben didn’t know what to do.  To most people, all of this probably looked normal.  Half the Resistance knew that the uptight and reserved colonel willingly spent the majority of his time working and likely saw nothing different in his behavior but to Ben and a few others… He got it.  He really did.  He was a Skywalker and if anyone understood family problems, it was their family.  He got why Hux was so standoffish and snapped at everyone including those close to him.  Ben and Liselle had shrugged the words off (he was pretty sure that there was nothing that could possibly bother her) but he could tell that Kalin was starting to get irritated.  

He wanted to help.  He just didn’t know how.  

It was well after midnight when he woke abruptly from a sound sleep, immediately sensing the cold blankets beside him.  Hux had yet to come back to their room.  Ben sighed resignedly and shut his eyes again, reaching out with the Force to figure out where his boyfriend was.  Usually it was harder to find someone who was Force blind but he’d become so attuned to Hux’s presence that it only took a few seconds to locate him.  (Hux didn’t need to know.  He’d hate it.)  Swinging his legs out of bed, he quickly pulled a green pilot’s jumpsuit he wore on missions sometimes and shoved his feet into boots before letting the Force guide him not to the room Apate had commandeered as its operational headquarters but instead to one usually used for strategy simulations.

Hux stood in the middle, eyes focused on the glowing blue maps before him.  Every now and then, he’d move some of the ship markers with the flick of a finger until the entire display glowed red, beeped angrily, and shut off.  “Damn!” he swore, completely oblivious to Ben’s presence as he punched the console.  

“Maybe you lost because it’s the middle of the night,” Ben suggested, arms folded and leaning against the wall.

Hux spun around to face him and frowned.  “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.”

“I’m working.  You know that.”

Ben snorted.  “This isn’t work.  This is just stupid.”

“This is not--”

“Shut up.”  Taken back, Hux’s mouth snapped shut.  Ben really hadn’t expected that to work.  Seizing the chance, he sprang forward so they were only an arm’s length apart and looked him up and down, nose wrinkling.  “You look like hell.”

“Thank you for noticing,” Hux replied dryly.  

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards as he reached out and laid a hand on Hux’s arm, squeezing reassuringly.  “Hey.  You don’t have to talk me or anyone about your sister if you don’t want to but you have to get some sleep, okay?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“The work will be there later.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Hux said, dropping his gaze.  

Ben frowned.  “Okay.  So what do you mean?” 

“I…” He tried to pull away but Ben’s hand on his arm didn’t let him.  “I can’t sleep,” he finally admitted.  “Not unless I’m exhausted.  My brain simply won’t… so I try to find something I can do because otherwise I…”  A flush of pink came to Hux’s cheeks and Ben could feel the discomfort rolling off him in waves through the Force.  “It’s nothing.  You don’t need to concern yourself.”

“Too late, I’m already concerned.”

Hux folded his arms across his chest.  “You should get some sleep.  There’s no point in both of us being tired.”

Ben held his ground.  “Not without you.”  For a moment, he thought Hux was going to protest but instead he nodded in defeat.  Smothering a smile, Ben reached for his hand, entwining their fingers together as he lead the way back to their room.  He didn’t even protest when Ben made him sit on the bed, pulling off his boots and placing a quick kiss to his inner thigh.

Instead, Hux undid his uniform jacket and uncharacteristically tossed it carelessly on a chair.  “At least pass me my datapad.”

His hand was half raised to summon it to him when Ben hesitated, sitting back on his heels.  “Let me try something first?”  Hux frowned suspiciously and he quickly clarified, “With the Force.”

“You know I don’t want you in my head.”

“No it’s not like that.” Ben sighed.  “Just let me try and help you okay?”

Multiple emotions crossed his face as suspicion faded into resignation which in turn became trust.  “Very well.”

It was hard sometimes.  Even with the Force, he could never be entirely sure how Hux felt about him.  He liked him, sure.  Love was questionable since he’d never said as much and Ben wasn’t entirely sure that Hux even understood the concept.  But trust… Ben knew from experience that those Hux fully trusted were few and far between.  It meant everything that Hux trusted him now.  Still on his knees, he rose up a little, placing a light hand at Hux’s temple.  “Don’t fight me.”

Those were probably the wrong words to say to his very uptight boyfriend but it was too late now.  Taking a deep breath, Ben half shut his eyes and reached out with the Force, pushing a sense of calm and sleep towards him.  Some part of Hux fought it at first because of kriffing course it did.  Ben pushed harder and a moment later, he could feel it working as Hux’s shoulders rounded forward and his breathing became shallow and regular.  With a bit of a smile, he slowly eased Hux into their bed, pulling the blankets around his narrow shoulders before curling up beside him.  

He’d managed to help for now.  He just wished there was something more that he could do.

~

It had been Kalin’s idea.  As far as Operation Apate missions went, this was one with relatively low stakes.  Admiral Statura had asked that they work a genuine supply run into their plans and ensure that it wasn’t one of the deliberate bait missions.  Kalin had slyly suggested that he and Ben take the assignment.  Ben had accepted for both of them before he could fit a word in.  Hux didn’t know why he bothered acting as though he was in control of his own life anymore.

The mission wasn’t one of the Jedi Hero ones.  Leia and Tycho thought (and Hux agreed) that that particular ploy needed to lay low for a few weeks.  Still, Hux couldn’t help but notice how Ben’s fingers twitched towards where his lightsaber was concealed in his jacket every time they had to look away from any sort of unsavory business on planet.  The Resistance seemed to finally have their shining Jedi Knight whether he realized it or not.  

Hux’s mind was parsecs away as they left the latest arms dealer behind.  He slept better now.  Ben’s Force nonsense seemed to have actually helped although he disliked how reliant on it he felt on the worst nights.   Regardless, very little could stop him from mulling over the status of Operation Apate and, when he could force himself to admit it, thinking about his sister.  He needed to stop.

“We could have gotten a better deal,” Ben grumbled, hood pulled up to hide his face.  

“How?” Hux asked calmly.  “By you using one of your Jedi mind tricks on the vendor?’

“Maybe.”

“That would have defeated the purpose of us keeping a low profile.”

“Not if I do it right.”

“Mm.”

Ben frowned at him.  “What?”

Shaking his head, Hux said, “It’s nothing.  I’m just preoccupied.”

“Then you’re doing this mission wrong.”

He arched an eyebrow.  ‘We’re obtaining the necessary supplies.  I believe that was the purpose of the mission.”

“Okay yeah sure fine.  In the orders,” Ben said with a dismissive wave.  “The real point was so that you’d stop thinking and worrying for half a second.”

“Ben, since you’ve known me, when have I ever not done either of those things?”

“Weren’t you just saying that the point of a mission is to accomplish something?”

“When?”

“Last night or something.”

“I don’t recall this.”

“Okay you’ve definitely said it at some point.”

“If you insist.”

“Yeah, I d-” He broke off mid-word.  

Hux frowned.  “What’s wrong?”

Ben’s expression was identical as he stepped out of the way of foot traffic, eyes doing that strange unfocused thing that Hux had long since identified as an indicator that he was reaching out with the Force.  “Something…”

“Be more specific.”

“If you’ll shut up, I can listen better!”

As much as he wanted to retort, Hux forced himself to bite his tongue for at least thirty seconds before asking again, “Well?”

His eyes widened.  “The Knights of Ren.  They’re here.”

Any irritation instantly vanished and was replaced with concern.  “What?!  Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Ben snapped.  

Part of Hux knew he should offer at least a token apology but that seemed a waste of time at the moment and he’d never found it easy for those words to leave his lips.  Instead, he grabbed Ben’s arm and dragged him down a side alley.  “Where are they?  Do they know you’re here?”

“They weren’t looking for me,” Ben replied, brow still furrowed.  “But I think they… they must sense me now.  They’re Force blind idiots if they don’t.”

“Insult them later,” Hux said.  “We need to leave this planet right now.”

“Why?”

“Why?  Because I see no need for you to get yourself killed in service of a pointless mission.”

“If I can’t insult them than you can’t insult me,” Ben grumbled.  “There’s only two of them.  I can take them.  It’ll make Kyla Ren mad.”

Hux rolled his eyes.  “She’s already hunting you.  She doesn’t need another reason.”  

“Hux, they’re here  _ now _ .  Let me deal with them.”

“I very infrequently ever ‘let’ you do anything, Ben.”

“Great so we can go do this then.”

Gritting his teeth, he glared at him.  “Is there any version of this scenario in which you agree to quietly leave the planet with me?”

“Probably not.”

“Fine,” Hux said begrudgingly.  “You’re getting to get us both killed.”

“I am not!”  

“I’m not hearing a  _ plan _ ,” Hux snapped impatiently.  

Ben glared right back.  “Maybe if you gave me time to think!”

Hux made a dismissive little gesture and turned his attention down to his datapad.  Whatever the Jedi came up with, he had no doubt that they were going to need to make a hasty escape off planet.  They were going to need all of the on-world Resistance personnel on the shuttle and ready to depart as soon as Ben and he inevitably came running back and/or needed a hasty pick up.  The number of times Hux had found himself requiring a rescue had increased exponentially since he’d started associating with Ben Organa Solo.  It was mind boggling, honestly.  “Do you have a plan yet?” he hissed after a minute.

“I’m working on it!”  He paused and glanced around the alleyway before looking up.  “Come on.”

“Come on?” Hux repeated.  “Come on where?”

“Up,” Ben replied, already climbing up the side of the building.  

“You have lost your kriffing mind if you think that I’m climbing up a damned building.”  Ben’s only response was to shift his grip and gesture with his newly freed hand and grab Hux with the Force, lifting him straight to the the roof.  Hux let out a very undignified sound of surprise as the ground fell away from his feet.  “What the--”

It took another few moments for Ben to finish climbing up and he rolled his eyes.  “Could you shout any louder?”

“You used the Force on me!”

He shrugged.  “You didn’t want to climb.  Come on, let’s go.”

Hux was still miffed at his cavalier attitude as they made their way from rooftop to rooftop.  Ben seemed to mostly know where he was going even if he had to stop from time to time and reach out with the Force or whatever it was that he did.  Thankfully, they hardly encountered anyone else except for the occasional alien who gave them a sideways look and shook their heads at the strange humans running around above the street.  There was nothing about this that he liked especially when Ben stopped so abruptly that Hux ran right into his back.  

Ben dropped down to create a lower profile and gestured for Hux to follow him to the roof’s edge.  “Down there.  Do you see them?”

“The black cloaks and masks give it away,” Hux murmured dryly.  

Ben ignored his sarcasm.  “I’ll go another roof over and then jump down.  I’ll try to keep them distracted if you can too?”

Hux was already double checking the power levels on his blaster, regretting that all he had was his sidearm and not something better suited to sniping even if he was hardly the best shot in the Resistance.  (It wouldn’t hurt to spend a little more time practicing back on D’Qar.)  “This isn’t the worst plan you’ve ever had.”

“You always say the nicest things, babe,” Ben said with a grin before crouching and springing into the air over to the roof across the street.  Hux could only shake his head, already focused on lining up one of the Knights of Ren in his blaster sights.

He didn’t have to wait long before Ben fell into action.  Literally.  

The Force must have given both the Knights just enough warning to leap out of the way of the blazing green lightsaber and draw their own weapons.  Interestingly, neither of them carried lightsabers but rather some sort of polearm that that was reinforced against the specific energy the traditional Jedi weapon put out.  Both women were also clearly Ben’s inferior when it came to sparring but there were two of them which would have somewhat evened the odds if Hux himself wasn’t perched on the rooftop, taking careful aim and firing on occasion.  It was a task made all the more difficult by Ben’s ridiculous acrobatics that a small part of his brain was forced to admit was graceful and oddly beautiful.  Despite the challenge, Hux was proud of himself for getting in a few good shots.  

It was after the first collapsed to the ground that Ben began noticeably toying with the remaining Knight of Ren who angrily yanked her mask off and tossed it away.  As soon as he realized what Ben was doing, Hux sighed and holstered his blaster.  If his boyfriend was going to play with his food than he saw no reason to assist.  Instead, he glanced around the roof, searching for a way down.  This sort of nonsense was why he always preferred to spend his mission time on the bridge of a ship or within a command center.  At least no one noteworthy was there to watch as he awkwardly clambered down with the help of some vines and conveniently placed rooftops.  

A well placed kick knocked the woman’s weapon out of her hand and they both knew it was over even as she scrambled for a blaster.  With a half-smile, Ben rotated his wrist, spinning his lightsaber around before halting both the Knight of Ren’s scramblings and her life.  It was if the only sound in the street was the humming buzz of the green blade for the moments afterwards before it vanished, the Jedi Knight returning the hilt to his belt.  

“See?” Ben said, that half-smile still on his face.  “Easy.”

Hux rolled his eyes before very sarcastically saying,  “Congratulations, darling.”

Ben took no notice of his tone.  “Thanks.  How many more weapons dealers do we still have to see?”

“None,” Hux said through gritted teeth.  “We’re done here.  The Resistance won’t be returning here for at least a month.  We’ll have to identify another planet to procure the rest of Admiral Statura’s request.”  

“He’s going to be mad.”

“Indeed.”

Ben knelt beside one of the bodies, riffling through their pockets and retrieving their personal effects.  “Hey Hux, can you--”  He must have seen the disgusted look on Hux’s face and cut off mid-word with a shake of his head.  “Nevermind,” he finished, moving on to the next body and stripping it of its belongings just as swiftly and efficiently before rising to his feet again.  “Okay, done.  Back to the ship?”  

Hux raised an eyebrow.  “Do you really intend to just leave them there like they were murdered and ransacked by a common thief?”  

“ _ Common _ ?” Ben exclaimed indignantly.  “Seriously, Hux?”

“Very well.  By a very uncommon Jedi thief.”

“Better.  I guess.  And yeah.  It’ll make Kyla Ren mad because she’ll know it was me.  Let’s go.”

“One day,” Hux muttered under his breath as they made their way back to the ship. “You’re going to get yourself killed and I won’t be there to stop it.”

~

It wasn’t Ben’s fault that trouble seemed to flock to him.  Hux had to keep reminding himself of that every time he looked at yet another batch of Operation Apate intelligence reports.  They had both been doing a decent job of flying under the radar and it was mere unfortunate coincidence that two Knights of Ren were present on the planet as well.  On the one hand, it was an indicator that their plan was working but on the other, it had forced their carefully laid plans into an awkward situation and there was little Hux hated more than having to redo perfectly good work.  Ben’s impetuous decision to kill both Knights of Ren had been the right one even if he regretted sacrificing the change to interrogate one or both of them.  Honestly, it was just the principle of the matter.

The benefit of being forced to redo weeks worth of analysis was that it left very little time for his brain to dwell on familial matters.  He disliked the moments when it could.  At least he was finally starting to sleep better.

He had his nose buried into a pile of reports one evening, cross referencing the various reports on the Knights of Rens’ movements and ignoring the rest of the room.  Too successfully ignoring, as it turned out.  

“Hello Hux.”

His eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet once he saw who stood before him.  “Ma’am!  I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

Winter Celchu smiled at him; the little half smile of someone who’d learned habitually reined in their visible emotions at an early age.  “No need for an apology.  I only just walked up a second ago.  Do you have a moment?”

“Of course, ma’am.”

She frowned almost imperceptibly as they both took their seats.  “I told you last time that Winter’s just fine.”

Hux shrugged.  “It’s a habit.”

“So Leia tells me.”

The thought of Leia and Winter discussing him was enough to make Hux shift awkwardly in his seat.  “Was there something that I could help you with?”  He just barely managed to cut himself off before calling her ‘ma’am’ again.

“The reverse actually,” she said, dark eyes serious.  “The Resistance was quite pleased with your impromptu victory over the First Order several weeks back.  I also understand that that battle was the first time you’d spoken to your sister since you defected from the First Order.”  Hux nodded, not trusting his voice.  “I’d imagine that a few exchanged words during the heat of battle would likely be an unsatisfactory sibling reunion.”

Narrowing his blue eyes, Hux couldn’t help but frown.  “It was hardly under ideal circumstances, no but I never expected to speak with her again after I left.  There wasn’t much else to say.”

She arched an eyebrow.  “Really?”

“What else could there be to say?  Alys Hux is my enemy now,” Hux said in a monotone.

“But still your sister.”

His frown deepened.  “Did Ben say something to you?”

With that hint of a smile again, Winter shook her head.  “No and neither did my husband before you ask.  I’ve spent most of my life having to watch people in one capacity or another.  At first it was in the royal court and then later as a spy for the Rebel Alliance.  It’s had the side effect of making me rather perceptive.”

“With all due respect, ma’am, I believe perception is generally something that people are born with,” Hux said wryly.

She inclined her head a fraction of an inch.  “A fair point.  Let’s just say more perceptive then.  The point, Hux, is that I’m not here on behalf of anyone but myself and I’d like to help you if you’ll allow it.”

For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why people kept wanting to help him.  It was just odd.  And unsettling.  He frowned.  “I don’t know what…”

“Your sister,” Winter clarified, leaning forward and resting a forearm on her knee, hands loosely clasped.  “I can ensure that a message reaches her.  If that’s something you’d like, that is.”

Flabbergasted, Hux didn’t have the faintest clue how to respond and just sat there like a slack-jawed idiot.  “I...”

“You’re under no obligation, of course.  If I’ve misread the situation…”

“No!” Hux said hurriedly, almost half rising out of his chair and immediately embarrassed by his display of unbridled emotion.  “You haven’t.  I just… I never even considered the possibility.  Would this even be allowed?”

“I have a certain amount of authority within the Resistance.”

He narrowed his eyes, immediately catching how neatly she’d sidestepped the actual question.  “I’d prefer not to present the image that I’m passing information to the First Order…”

“Are you intending to?”

“Of course not.”

“Then that is a problem which I will handle.” Winter rose to her feet, adjusting her skirts before lightly resting a hand on his shoulder.  “Just think about it, Hux.  I don’t need an answer now or ever if you decide this isn’t something you want to do but if it is then I’d like to assist.  You know where to find me.”

Still mildly speechless, he only managed a nod of thanks before she walked off.  As soon as she left the room, his head fell right into his hands.  This was too much.  All of this was too much.  He couldn’t even identify whether his initial reaction was to jump at the chance to speak to Alys again or to push it as far away as possible.  This was one of the rare instances in his life where Hux didn’t know what he wanted and that was what he hated most.  Uncertainty was weakness; a possible fatal flaw.  

There was nothing about this damn situation that Hux liked.

Several days later, he must have started and restarted the letter a dozen times by the time he angrily threw his datapad at wall, shattering the screen into dozens of glass fragments.  With Ben’s fantastic timing, of course he walked into their room just as the device hit the stone wall less than a meter from his head.  

“When’d you start taking anger lessons from me?”

“I haven’t,” Hux replied through gritted teeth.  “This isn’t anger.”

Ben scoffed, “Sure looks like it.”

“It’s not.”

“Then what is it?”

He hesitated.  “It’s frustration.”

“Ah,” Ben said sagely, nodding his head.  “That letter to your sister.”

“How do you know about that?” Hux asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

“You think really loud when you sleep sometimes,” Ben explained.  

Hux stared at him, at a loss for words.  “I do  _ what _ ?”

“You think--”  Ben threw his hands in the air, clearly struggling to use words too.  “It’s not on purpose or anything but sometimes when you’re asleep, I can just…” He gestured vaguely. “Hear stuff.”

“I thought we discussed this,” he said flatly.

“It’s not on purpose!”  Hux simply glared.  Ben rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, “You try having these stupid powers some time.  Anyways I’d have to actually be stupid to not know you’ve been thinking about her a lot. And a bad boyfriend.”

Hux let out the breath he hadn’t even realized that he’d been holding.  “I suppose you have a point.”

“I do a lot of the time.”  Ben closed the distance between them and set his own datapad in front of him, kissing him swiftly from across the desk.  “Stop overthinking it and just write.”

“Simple for you to say.”

“Just trust me on this one, okay?”

“Mm.”

He rolled his eyes, obviously getting a lot from Hux’s noncommittal syllable.  “Should I bother trying to drag you to dinner?”

“Maybe later,” Hux replied, staring at the datapad in front of him.  Ben shrugged and left, knowing a lost cause when he saw one.  As the door shut, Hux took a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to let go of all his anxieties and doubts as he did.  It felt decidedly abnormal.  

But he started writing.  And then kept writing like he was running out of time.

He wasn’t sure how many minutes had passed when he finally set the datapad down and stretched.  It was disconcerting when Ben’s advice was actually solid.  He was mostly satisfied with the final result but there was no harm in letting it sit for a few hours and passing it to Winter in the morning.  Food actually was sounding like a decent idea...

_ Alys, _

_ Don’t waste your time studying this message for some secret message with hidden data on the Resistance.  I have no interest in aiding the First Order.  Of course, if someone from First Order Intelligence is reviewing this than by all means spend as much time as you wish pouring over these lines.  _

_ I won’t lie and pretend that I haven’t regretted how everything happened fifteen years ago.  I should have dragged you on to the damn ship with me but the past cannot be changed.  Fate is something only fools believe in but I do believe in taking advantage of presented opportunities.  There is both so much I want to say to you and also a complete loss of words.  Telling you about my day would seem frivolous and yet making sweeping statements that cover the last decade seems equally ridiculous.  The point remains though that I’ve missed you very much and I wish, if you’re amenable, to get to know the person that you’ve become. _

_ An acquaintance has promised to ensure that you’ll receive this message and I feel confident that they can do the same for any response you’d wish to send in return.  While I (obviously) have no control over your actions, it is my hope that you will reply.  This isn’t a matter of war, dear sister.  It’s a matter of family.   _

_ B. Hux _


	7. Chapter 7

Hux had been good for nothing but anxious waiting during the two weeks after Winter had sent his message to Alys.  (Ben hadn’t said anything directly but he got the impression that both Winter and Tycho had gone toe-to-toe with Admiral Ackbar and Major Ematt about allowing the communication.  That in itself must have been an impressive sight.  He still wasn’t sure how to thank them or if he even could.)  Logically speaking, he knew there was little point in fretting.  He had no idea how long it would actually take to reach her and just as little clue about whether she would even respond.  It was pointless to worry about anything in life he could not control.  

In the meantime, it was only mildly embarrassing that Liselle had to take the weapon acquisition project for Admiral Statura away from him after he screwed up a calculation for the third time in a row.  His current course would have sent the ship halfway across the galaxy from its intended target.  “Go find something else to do, Colonel,” she’d said while pushing him none-to-gently out the door.  “Like another one of your simulations.  Or maybe Ben.”

Hux was still sputtering and searching for a response when the door had shut behind him.  This sort of nonsense was why he’d preferred it when his relationship with that overgrown wookiee had been a secret.  

In all honesty, he had no idea what to do now.  He’d never known what to do with the foreign concept that was free time.  His feet decided to wander through the base aimlessly and his brain couldn’t exactly argue given that it lacked a better plan.  

He was somewhere around the edge of the landing field when Winter found him.  Watching Dameron’s pilots practice atmosphere maneuvers had turned out to be rather entertaining especially as they all tried to one-up each other.  

“Pilots,” Winter said with a tinge of amusement.  “They’re all the same no matter how old or who they fly for.”  Hux raised a quizzical eyebrow.  “Every single one of them has an ego the size of a planet and want to be the best if they don’t already think they are the best.”

“Even General Celchu?”

“Especially Tycho,” Winter laughed.  “My husband’s just better at hiding it than most.”

“I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“All of the original members of Rogue Squadron were like that.  Even Luke.  I’m convinced it has something to do with the helmets.”

Hux couldn’t help but laugh.  It was a potentially amusing concept.  “Was there something you needed from me?”

She shook her head and handed him a datacard.  “The opposite.”  

Hux’s breath hitched.  “Is this--”

“From your sister, yes.”  Winter brushed a strand of white hair out of her face.  “It’s already been scanned for any malicious coding but it looks clean.  Also, in the interest of complete transparency, it has been read and reviewed by Intelligence as was your outgoing message.”

He nodded.  “I suspected that would be the case.  Privacy is a luxury.”

“Unfortunately so in this situation,” she admitted matter-of-factly before taking a step back.  “I’ll leave you to your correspondence.”

Hux nodded again in response except it didn’t quite feel right to end such a conversation there.  “Winter?”  She paused, raising an expectant eyebrow.  He cleared his throat.  “I… Thank you.  For all of this.”  The words sounded weak even to his own ears and yet he didn’t know what else to say.  

Winter smiled at him, an expression that said more than words.  “You’re welcome, Hux.”

He didn’t stop once during his hurried walk back to his quarters.  His hands were shaking as he shoved the datacard into his new datapad, completely focused on the little device as blurs melded into words on the screen.

_ Brendol, _

_ Your hidden message about what a prick you think Father is was ever so charming or perhaps that was just implied.  I’ll leave it to your Resistance handlers to decide whether you actually did send me a secondary message.  (See? Two can play at this game, brother.) _

_ You have a talent for using a lot of words to say very little.  Must be a family trait.  That said, you may have a point because I don’t know what to say either.  I’m furious at you for leaving and betraying all of us; for betraying me.  I’ve thought a lot over the years about how I’d react if I ever encountered you again.  The answer should be ‘two quick shots to the head’ and yet it’s not.  What is it that Father always says?  Ah yes… know your enemy.  It seems appropriate then that I should get to know the person that you’ve become too.  You were wrong, by the way.  This is a matter of war  _ and  _ family. _

_ I’m unsure how reliable your acquaintance’s methods are but I am amenable to continuing our correspondence.  I will even admit that I have missed you too.  I leave it to you to decide how best to rekindled our sibling relationship.  After all, we’ll eventually have to move past this lack of true substance, no? _

_ Alys _

Silence and stillness reigned for the long minutes after he finished reading her message.  Perhaps if he kept staring at the screen, more words would magically appear there and that connection would reforge itself.  (Or perhaps it never would.)

Ben found him there ages later, still grasping the datapad tightly.  “Hey,” he said softly, resting a hand on his back.  “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Hux replied automatically.  

“Because I’ve been standing here for five minutes and you haven’t moved once.  I know you’re like part droid or whatever but that’s a lot even for you.”

“Part droid, part wookiee.  We make a strange couple.”

A smile crept onto Ben’s face.  “See?  Insulting but still kind of nice.  That sounds like you again.”

Hux sighed and rubbed his temples.  “Remind me again why we share a bunk?”

“Because the--”

“I rescind the question.”  Ben smirked and dropped into the seat beside him, waiting for him to continue in his own time.  Hux finally set the datapad down.  “It’s nothing.  I merely received a reply from my sister.”

Ben folded his arms and leaned on the table.  “And?”

“And I suspect I’ll need to compose a response at some point.  What else is there to say?”

“Are you ever going to talk about your family without me having to drag it out of you a word at a time?”

“Why do you think I left them behind?” Hux responded dryly.  

“Fine.  Be like that then.”  Ben rolled his eyes and stood up.  “Being together means we’re supposed to actually talk to and help each other, Hux.  Otherwise, it’s just…” He waved in the vague direction of their bed.  “That.  And I love you for more than that.”  Hux didn’t reply; didn’t know how to reply and Ben kicked at piece of furniture in frustration.  “I leave tomorrow morning for another one of your missions.  I guess I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Ben, wait!”  The words fell out of Hux’s mouth and then he found himself lost for what to say next when he actually did wait.  Taking a deep breath, he let it out again, reaching for the other man’s hand.  “I need some time to process all of this.  I’m not used to… I’ve never been used to any of this.  Let me… I’ll find you later?”

It was apparently good enough for Ben as he squeezed his hand back and bent to kiss him tenderly.  “Okay.”

The New Republic kept rubbing off on him in ways that Hux wasn’t sure he liked but there was nothing to be done about that now.  Returning to the First Order was hardly an option.  As the door shut behind Ben, he ran a hand through his hair, trying to think except… perhaps that was the problem.  He needed to stop thinking.  

He needed a break from all of this.  Perhaps there was a free spot open in the base’s shooting range.  He’d always found the practice to be almost akin to meditating while also being a worthwhile use of his time.  After that… after he could try and figure out what it might mean to have family again and how to be a better boyfriend.  

~

They exchanged messages another two rounds before Hux found himself standing awkwardly before Tycho and Winter, in the uncomfortable position of requesting their assistance with a personal matter.  “I understand that what I’m asking is a lot and if you’re against it, I would completely understand.  I’d deny the request if I were in your shoes.  You’ve already done more to help me with this… situation that I should have asked.”

The Celchus exchanged looks, apparently able to hold entire silent conversations within seconds after decades of marriage.  “It’s not as absurd as you might think,” Winter said.  “We’ve fought tougher battles and this is one where I think we can skirt around the worst.”

“If this is something completely inappropriate, consider the request forgotten,” Hux hurried to say.  “I understand that there’s quite a difference between exchanging messages and actually arranging a meeting with someone who is our sworn enemy.”

The corner of Tycho’s mouth twitched upwards.  “Hux, I know it wasn’t your intention but you couldn’t have picked two more sympathetic people to talk to for this.  Every Alderaanian lost family when the Empire took our planet from us, in one way or another.  If I had a chance to speak to my sister again, regardless of what cause she served, I’d take it too.”

“We’ll talk to Leia,” Winter said smoothly.  “And I can speak to Airen.  I’ve known him since the early days of the Rebel Alliance.  History counts for quite a lot these days.”

Tycho smirked.  “You just want the challenge of convincing him, don’t you?”

She shrugged.  “He’s gotten complacent.”

“Leia should send you back to Hosnian Prime to see if you can talk sense into any of the Senators.”

“No, politics was always more her arena than mine.  I’m sure I wouldn’t have any more success than she did.”  Winter turned back to Hux whose blue eyes kept flitting back and forth between the couple, trying to contain his nerves.  “Let’s draw up a preliminary plan for a meeting in neutral territory to help facilitate the process.”

“Yes ma’am,” Hux replied with a curt nod, the faintest hint of a smile creeping onto his face.  

It still felt surreal but the chance of actually seeing Alys again becoming a reality was slowly becoming more and more concrete.  Perhaps this is why people in the Resistance actually liked opening up to others.  He still didn’t care for it one bit.

~

No matter how many years he'd been living in the New Republic, Hux always felt distinctly uncomfortable out of uniform. He liked the structure of military life and while many preferred civilian wear or pilot jumpsuits when off duty, uniforms just made sense to him. On the bright side, it was nice to be wearing his preferred blacks and greys again after wearing the Resistance’s less than well-tailored uniform in its unflattering muted green for so damn long.  

He still couldn’t quite believe how fast everything had happened.  Apparently when the Celchus put their minds to something, they did it.  If everyone in the Rebel Alliance had been like them, the Empire would have been wiped out long before the first Death Star.  Taanab had been deemed acceptable neutral territory by both parties and now here he was, less than a week later, sitting in a tapcaf and impatiently tapping his knee with two fingers under the table.

"Hey. Relax."   
  
Hux raised a suspicious eyebrow at Ben as he set two filled glasses down on the table and pushed one in front of him. "What is this?"   
  
"Whiskey. You drink it."   
  
He ignored the deadpan. "Why are you giving me a drink when we're about to meet with the First Order?"   
  
"Because you need to relax a little," Ben said, taking a sip from the tankard he'd gotten for himself. "And this will help us blend in a little more."   
  
"I need to be sharp for this, not mildly intoxicated."   
  
The Jedi laughed. "I've seen you knock back two of these without blinking and then reach for a third.  You’ll be fine."   
  
"And why do you have-- what is that anyways?"   
  
"Something lowbrow enough that you'd turn your nose up and call it smuggler swill if I told you the name."   
  
Hux sniffed. "I'm sure."   
  
With a sigh, Ben used the Force to push the whiskey up against Hux's hand. "Come on. Relax. Take a drink. Slouch a little."   
  
"Now you're just being offensive," he muttered.   
  
"Hey." A hand nudged his chin up before Ben leaned forward and kissed him. "It'll be fine."   
  
Usually, Hux hated anything resembling public displays of affection but he couldn't resist returning the kiss, closing his eyes and shutting out the rest of the world for a brief second. The calming moment didn't last long after they broke apart and he got a visual reminder about why they were actually there. "They're here," he said quietly, keeping his facial expression as neutral as he could. "Green shirt, three o'clock. Eyepatch at two."   
  
Ben's eyes went out of focus for a moment as he reached out with the Force. "Got 'em both. And your sister's right outside, she's got another person with her."   
  
He allowed himself a subtle smirk. "Three then. She must be worried that this is a trap. Maybe I should've brought more back up too."   
  
"Hey!" The exclamation was punctuated with a sharp nudge to the ribs. "Jedi, remember? I can handle them."   
  
It was all Hux could do not to grin. "Indignant is a good look on you, Solo." 

“Come on, I’ve got to be worth at least three of them.”

“You’re worth at least twelve of them, darling,” Hux said with all sincerity, the endearment slipping out unconsciously.  Before Ben could reply, the cantina door opened again and an all too familiar face appeared. "Ah, there she is."   
  
The two First Order officers stuck out like sore thumbs in the cantina. Neither had worn a uniform and yet their stiff posture and stern expressions made up for it. They were, Hux realized as he rose to his feet, only slightly more obvious than he was. At an inaudible word, her companion hung back, eyes narrowed suspiciously. His sister stopped three feet away from their table and nodded curtly. "Brendol."   
  
"Alys."   
  
Silence hung between them as the siblings stared at each other, neither sure how to proceed. Even after all these years, they were both still so alike in looks and mannerisms. The pair stood with their hands behind their backs in stiff military posture learned early on at the First Order Academy as they observed the other.  Both had chosen conservative black attire and both kept their red hair neatly back and out of their faces. She wore it longer now than she used to, he noted, and she clearly kept herself in shape, unwilling to become the command stereotype from the old Empire. Hux strongly suspected that part of that routine involved walking every last inch of her ship much like his own once had. The strangest change by far was their more pronounced difference in height. He wasn’t used to looking down at her.

"You could try hugging," Ben suggested dryly, breaking the now awkwardly long quiet. "That's what normal people do when they haven't seen family in a while."   
  
"And do you have traitors in your family too?" Alys asked him, arching an eyebrow as she finally halted her study of her brother and looked this apparent stranger up and down.   
  
Ben’s eyes narrowed.   "Maybe."   
  
"That's irrelevant right now," Hux broke in, already seeing the faintest warning signs of one of his boyfriend's temper flares.  The last thing they needed was to pursue this line of conversation so Alys would put the pieces together and poke a nest of gundarks by bringing up Darth Vader. "He has a point though... It's good to see you again, little sister." Steeling himself, he stepped forward and lightly kissed her cheek. The gesture seemed to relax both of them long enough to manage a brief embrace before moving apart again. "You look well."   
  
"You too especially now that you're out of that awful uniform. How has the fleet not mutinied against such a wretched look yet?"   
  
"We've been too busy.  I’m sure we’ll find the time eventually." He nodded towards her escort. "Is that Bronn Devray?"   
  
She nodded. "He’s Captain Devray now."   
  
Hux smirked. "Good.  We both outrank him then. He always was an ass at the Academy."   
  
“He’s… relatively competent.”  For a moment, it looked like Alys wanted to say something else but instead she raised an eyebrow and nodded towards Ben who was still watching the reunion from his seat. "Who's this?"   
  
"This is Ben," Hux introduced him simply even as the younger man rose to shake her hand.   
  
Alys frowned ever so slightly as she shook the proffered hand. "You're very casual with your officers, Brendol.  That’s unlike you."   
  
"He's not in the military," Hux said even as Ben said, "Only the his part was right.”   
  
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at their overlapping answers. "So. Intelligence then."

“Not quite.”

“Oh?”   
  
Ben smiled lopsidedly.  "Try Jedi Knight."   
  
"Really."   
  
"Really."   
  
"Where's your lightsaber?"   
  
Hux had never moved so fast before in his life as he slapped a hand over Ben's mouth. "You will not finish that sentence how you're intending to right now." 

Ben smirked once Hux removed his hand. “I was just going to say that it’s in my jacket.”

“I’m sure,” he muttered.

Alys’s frown deepened as she looked between them suspiciously, beginning to put the pieces together that Hux had so desperately hoped she wouldn’t.  All of them.  “Your surname… it’s Organa Solo, isn’t it?”

“Your sister is as smart as you are, Hux.  I like her!”

She whirled around to face her brother.  “You’re sleeping with Organa’s son?”

“That’s a bit of a leap,” Hux answered quickly.

“Answer the question, Brendol!”

Hux felt his cheeks flush pink.  “I’m currently considering stranding him on this awful planet.”

Ben winked as Alys gaped at them silently for a moment before finding words again.  “A Hux with an Organa… Father would have a heart attack if he knew.”

“Good!” Hux spat out vindictively.  “Tell him then.  Maybe we’ll get lucky and it’ll kill him.”  Silence returned as Alys struggled with how to respond.  She had no more love for the man than he did but her First Order indoctrination couldn’t bring her to verbally agree, not in front of a stranger.  Finally taking pity, he gestured towards the table.  “How about I buy you a drink?”

It was another few moments before she nodded curtly and sat.  All it took was a quick gesture to a waitress before another glass of whiskey was on the table.  It took another meaningful look at Ben before he cleared his throat and said, “I think I’ll go find out if Captain Ass lives up to his name.”

The quiet returned as they both took long drinks.  “Who knows you’re here?” he finally asked.

“My superiors, obviously,” she replied.  “And our Mother.”

“Did she—”

Alys nodded.  “She was happy for any news of you.  Father will be… displeased to learn that I’m associating with you.”

“Shocking.”

“Mother was glad to hear that you’re well though.  I told her that you seemed more at ease with the New Republic.  I hope I didn’t speak incorrectly?”

He nodded.  “I am.  Although I regret that circumstances keep me from some of my family.”

“You didn’t have to leave us,” she said abruptly.

“I did.  You didn’t have to stay.”

“I did.”  She reached into her jacket and pulled forth a sealed piece of flimsi.  “Mother asked that I give you this.”

Hux accepted it, tucking it into a pocket and handing her a different piece of flimsi.  “I wasn’t sure how she’d react but it felt inappropriate not to write even if I suspect I’ll never receive a reply.  Would you give this to her along with my…love?”  His tongue stumbled over the unfamiliar word.  

Alys seemed equally uncomfortable with the word but she nodded.  “Of course.  She’s doing well, by the way.  I’m sure she’s said more in the letter but she seems content most days.  Father’s kept busy with the war and so she can do as she pleases.”

“And our brother?” he asked, more out of obligation than genuine curiosity.     


“Useless,” she replied dismissively.  “He’s entirely Father’s creature without any gift for strategy or analysis.  They found a position for him somewhere in logistics that keeps him out of the way without insulting the family name.  I suspect Father would disown him if he had any other sons.”

“Subtle,” Hux said dryly.    

Alys shrugged.  “It wasn’t meant to be.”  She took a sip of her drink.  “Now.  Tell me… Organa’s son?”

Hux felt his cheeks flush again and he unsuccessfully attempted to hide it by drinking.  “It just happened.”

“Really? It had nothing to do with who his family is?”

“Why would it?”

“I remember that affair you had with Admiral Pellaeon’s son—”

“Irrelevant!” 

“--and that time I walked in on you and Admiral Trigit’s nephew--”

“Ancient history!”

“This isn’t.”

He sighed.  “This is really what you want to discuss?”

Alys shrugged.  “Why not?  I haven’t seen you in over a dozen years and we can’t discuss work so why shouldn’t I ask about my big brother’s personal life?” 

“This is ridiculous.”

“Just spit it out already, Bren.”

A hint of a smile tugged at corner of his mouth.  “You know, no one calls me that here.”

“Bren? Or Brendol?”

“Both.”

She nodded knowingly.  “I’m surprised you didn’t change your name entirely to get away from him.”

“Thought about it,” Hux admitted, “But I realized that reports of a Captain Hux in the New Republic would irritate him enough to make it worth keeping.  I can only imagine how hearing about a Colonel Hux with the Resistance must infuriate him.”

“Everyone here calls you Hux then?”

“Keeps things simple.”

Alys glanced towards where Ben stood at the bar, undoubtedly driving Devray insane.  “Even tall, dark, and Jedi when you’re in bed?”

Hux choked on his drink.  “Alys!”

“What? It’s a fair question.”

Stalling, he took another sip.  “Why do you care?”

“Because I can.”

Hux sighed with defeat.  “He calls me Hux like everyone else.”

“And do you—” For the second time, a Hux sibling found themselves stumbling over the four letter word that she couldn’t quite spit out.  “Is it serious?”

Hux shrugged, putting on a facade of calm that he internally absolutely did not feel.  “We’ve been exclusive for a while and…we have an understanding.”

Alys narrowed her eyes and studied him for a long moment, clearly not entirely buying the act.  “Well.  I’d say ‘be sure to invite me to the wedding’ but I think I’d be obliged to shoot your future mother-in-law if I attended.”

“Don’t be such an immature brat,” Hux groaned.

Snorting, she shook her head.  “I don’t even recall the last time someone called me that although it was most likely you before you left.”

He frowned.  “Why do you keep bringing it up?”

She raised an eyebrow.  “What?”

“My defection.”

“How could I not?” Alys countered coolly.  “Your betrayal has rather defined both our lives whether you intended it to or not.”

Hux clenched his jaw.  “Must we go over this again?  You chose to stay, Alys.  I gave you every opportunity to come with me to the New Republic.”

“To defect?  That was hardly a choice.”

“The alternative was staying under Father’s thumb.  I didn’t view it as much of a choice either.”

“You left, Brendol.  You left me.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut and seeing the look in her eyes was like a second.  It took a moment before he could collect himself enough to quietly ask, “How bad was it?”

“A Hux doesn’t complain,” she replied woodenly.  

“It’s not complaining if I ask you a question, little sister.”

Alys knocked back what was left of her whiskey, slowly turning the glass in her hand and not looking at him.  “He was furious,” she finally said.  “I’d never seen him that angry before.”

“Not even when--”

“No.”

“Or when--”

“No,” she said a little bit more forcefully.  “He blamed me.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment, Hux swallowing hard as he dropped his gaze again.  She didn’t need to say it.  “I’m sorry, Alys.  I didn’t think he would.”  With a quick gesture, he summoned a waitress over again and got them another round of drinks.  They didn’t last long as both siblings drank their contents faster than advisable, preferring drinking to confronting the silence between them.  “Defect now,” he said hoarsely.  “I can’t fix what happened but we can change things now.”

“This war is about more than our  _ feelings _ , Brendol,” she spat the last word out like it was a curse.  “Maybe you can toss your morals and convictions aside because you hate Father but I can’t.”

That was just offensive.  “I did not--”

“You did!” Alys cut him off angrily, fire in her blue eyes.  “You believed in the First Order just as much as any of us did!”

“The First Order is a relic of the Empire that just refuses to die!”

“A relic that concerns members of the New Republic’s government enough that they formed a Resistance to fight us from taking our rightful place in the galaxy again!  A Resistance that you joined!”

“I was left with no choice!  You’ve let yourselves be led by a madman with a lunatic bunch of Force users as his attack dogs!”

“While you let yourselves be lead by a blind regime that prefers disorder to functionality!”

“Disorder brought about by the First Order’s meddling!” 

They’d both long since abandoned their chairs, angrily leaning across the table and invading the other’s personal space.  To an outsider, it would have never been more evident that they were brother and sister.  Only siblings on opposite sides of a war could find themselves in such a heated argument quite like this.  Ben had abandoned his pestering of Devray to interrupt their brewing fight.  “Hey, maybe you should--” Ben started, laying a calming hand on each of their shoulders.

“Get your hand off of me,” Hux and Alys snapped in unison, turning their ire on him.

Rolling his eyes, he took a step back, hands up in a gesture of surrender.  “You’re starting to attract more attention than any of us should here.”

“He has a point, ma’am,” Devray chimed in quietly, having followed Ben back over.  “There are more than a few unfriendly faces to all of us here.”

Alys whirled back around to glare at Hux.  “I thought this was supposed to be a neutral planet.”

He tilted his head to the side.  “It’s neutral if we’re equally unliked.”

“This is what happens when we let your little Resistance plan anything.”

“May I remind you that the First Order had veto power over the location?”

Her only response was to shoot him one of those irritated looks that he’d seen so frequently when they were children.  

“I really think we need to leave now,” Ben cut in, looking more and more uneasy.  “Hux, I’ve got  _ one of those feelings _ .”

“Ah.”  Hux hated it when Ben got those feelings.  He tossed some credits down on the table and turned back to his sister.  “I recommend we find another location to continue this conversation.  Your other guards can come with us, if you’d like.”

She started.  “How did you know about them?”

“I’m very good at my job, little sister.”

“Sometimes,” she said begrudgingly before gesturing for her soldiers to follow them as they quickly left the bar, a few displeased glares following all of them out the door.  Ben led the way to a spot just outside of town but before they reached the landing field.  It was as close to privacy as anyone could get on Taanab without finding a more exclusive bar or renting quarters.  He was inclined to do neither. Alys glanced around the clearing dismissively, lips curling down into a sneer.  “How quaint.”

“We aren’t staying,” Hux said shortly.  “I believe we can both agree that this discussion has run its course.”

For a moment, it looked as if she was about to disagree but then she shut her mouth, folded her arms across her chest, and nodded.  “Shall we call it a draw and spare each other the indignity of losing?”

“Agreed.”

In another set of circumstances, Ben’s look of pure confusion would have been amusing. “What am I missing?”

“This experiment is over,” Alys answered for both of them.  “It’s already lasted longer than it had any right to.”

The uncertainty remained.  “What experiment?”  Everyone ignored him.

Hux shoved any further emotions deep down inside as he cleared his throat and extended his hand towards her.  “I regret that we must remain enemies but it appears to be the natural order of the galaxy.”

“There’s nothing natural about a Hux fighting for the New Republic,” Alys said, shaking his hand firmly nonetheless.  “I hope we don’t face each other in battle again.”

“Likewise.”  Despite the finality of their words, Hux found himself unable to turn away yet.  Impulsively, he reached out and cupped her face between his hands, lightly pressing his lips to her forehead.  “Goodbye, little sister.  May the stars keep you safe.”

“And may they guide your path,” she replied automatically before they each took a step back.   Yet again, she had that look like there was something else she wanted to say.  It wasn’t one he’d seen often when they were children and it was disconcerting to see it so frequently in such a short period of time.  “Don’t die, Bren.  I don’t… I couldn’t take it,” she said quietly enough that only he could hear her before squaring her shoulders, raising her chin, and pivoting sharply to face her men.  “We’re done here.”

Silently, Hux watched her leave, falling into military rest partially out of habit and partially because he craved the familiarity.  Ben stood beside him but just a little bit away, seemingly sensing his need to be an island in the sea.  Once they vanished from sight, Hux let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.  “It’s always ideal when events go as expected.”

Ben’s brow furrowed with concern.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Hux nodded, forcing himself to believe the lie.  “There’s no other way this could have ended.  I would have preferred that we’d convinced her to defect but the Commandant’s grasp on her is far too tight.  It was a fool’s hope.”

“So you’re just never going to talk to her again?”

“In all likelihood, correct.”

“But she’s your sister,” Ben protested.  “You love her.”

Hux tilted his head, considering the words for the briefest of moments.  “I do, yes.  But that’s irrelevant to the reality of the situation.”  Brushing a speck of dust from his jacket, he nodded in the direction of their ship.  “Now then, we’ve wasted enough time on this when there’s a war going on.”

“Hux, are you sure?  We can still--”  He shook his head and Ben just stared at him.  “I don’t know what I can do to help.”

“There’s no need to do anything.”

“I’m your boyfriend.  I’m supposed to help.”

Shaking his head again, Hux forced his features into a semblance of neutrality.  “Let’s go home.”

Now it truly was the only one he had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was still wondering, I hate Commandant Brendol Hux with a burning passion cuz he's a diiiiiiiiick. Hey Hux, didn't know know that your boyfriend's supposed to have the monopoly on family drama? 
> 
> In other news, I really do love all of you who continue to read and enjoy especially since I feel like this sequel's been a bit more uneven than the first one. Hopefully Alys makes up for it? (I know, I know. I'm biased towards her.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I told you all that there'd be a new chapter tomorrow but I won't be home until late and I figured no one would mind if you got a chapter early... ;)
> 
> Also, because I'm a total tease, there will be another Legends character appearance next chapter. So.

It was far too easy to push his sister out of his mind and shove any related emotions deep down inside.  All he had to do was keep himself too busy to spare the time for his mind to wander.  It was exceedingly useful that he had both a major campaign to run and a needy boyfriend to distract him.  (The irony was not lost on him that this was a tactic he’d learned and perfected while living in his father’s home.)

Ben worried about him.  It wasn’t hard to tell.  Hux didn’t particularly dislike the extra time they spent together when Ben would occasionally just pull him aside when he had a free moment so they could get away from the flurry of activity that defined the base and just be together.  Eventually, he would have to put an end to the stolen moments of respite but Operation Apate had yet to encounter any further setbacks.  So far.

The one positive was that Ben seemed disinclined to bring Alys up first despite clearly wanting to ask more.  Hux took full advantage of that.  He couldn’t afford to talk about her or to even think about her.  That path lead to distractions and a version of himself who was again at the mercy of their father despite being thousands of parsecs away.  He’d break.  He’d survived for fifteen years without his sister and there was no reason why he couldn’t start doing so again.  

Hux was perfectly fine.  

 _Honestly_.

He wasn’t sure that Ben was though.

The Jedi tried to hide it but fortunately (for Hux) he wasn’t much of a technological genius.  

“Hey,” Liselle said brusquely in greeting, tossing a datacard at him as she sat.  “You should look at this.”

“And what it this?” Hux asked even as he picked the datacard up.

“Just read.”

Complying, he began reviewing the information while she began idly braiding a piece of hair.  By the time he was a third of the way through it, he was frowning.  “Why does he have access to any of these?”

“Those decisions are above my paygrade.”

“Don’t do that.”

She spread her hands and shrugged.  “Take your pick, Colonel.  He’s the last Jedi.  He’s as close as an expert on the Knights of Ren as we have.  He’s General Organa’s son.  He’s probably got higher clearance than both of us.  No one’s going to question him regardless of what Intelligence reports he wishes to review.”

“Maybe they should start,” Hux muttered under his breath.  “How did you find this?”

Liselle shrugged again.  “Cracken’s had me doing some other analysis work that’s kept me in Intelligence’s bunker.  He’s been in there a lot lately.  I thought it was worth looking into.”

Hux set his datapad down on the table again.  “He’s going to get himself killed.”

“Possibly.”

“This sort of mess is part of why the Resistance struggles at times,” he continued bitterly.  “No one thinks to stop an Organa Solo from looking at every last bit of intelligence we gather on the movements of the Knights of Ren even when he’s expressed a desire to run head first into battle against them and potentially get himself killed because of some sort of foolish vendetta.”

“Would you want to be the one to tell General Organa that her son is out of control?”

That made him hesitate.  “No, I suppose not.”

“And you’ve actually got a personal connection with her,” Liselle pointed out.  “Most of us down in the trenches only know her by sight and legend.  Hence why I’m bringing this to you.”  

Hux stared at her for a moment before pursing his lips and tilting his head to concede the point.  His life had been so much less complicated back before Ben had been tossed back into it last year.  Perhaps this was a lesson from the galaxy about why becoming involved with a Jedi who was also the child of war heroes when another war was on the horizon was a less than logical idea.  Too late to do anything about it now though.  “Then I suppose it’s on me to speak to Ben,” he said slowly.  

“I just bring you the information,” Liselle said, features perfectly schooled into blankness.  “It’s up to you command types to decide what you’d like to do with it.”

“How kind of you,” he drawled sarcastically.  “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

She waved far too cheerfully.  “Have fun, Colonel.  Try not to kill each other.”

He hated everything about this.  Literally everything.

It didn’t take long to track Ben down and he was decidedly displeased to find him in the hangar bay, checking the charge levels on a blaster with a duffle bag at his feet.  “Oh hey, Hux.  I was about to come and find you.”

“Were you now?” he asked acidly.  

Ben either didn’t notice or ignored his tone.  “Yeah, I’m about to head out for a few days.”

“Where?”

“Knights of Ren.  We’ve got a new lead.  I think I might actually have the jump on her this time.”

Hux stared.  It was so much worse than he’d expected.  “Absolutely not.  I’m not letting you go on this ludicrous venture.”

Ben raised an eyebrow at him.  “Let?” he asked incredulously before laughing.  “Hux, you’re not my commanding officer.  I don’t have a commanding officer actually.  You don’t get to _let_ me do anything.”

“I do as far as Operation Apate is involved.”

He shrugged.  “This isn’t part of your operation.”

“But still within my area of concern.”

“You worry too much.”

“And you don’t worry enough.”

They just glared at each other in the middle of the hangar bay for a few long moments, neither one of them willing to back down first.  With a thought, Ben summoned his bag to his hand, hefting it over his shoulder.  “I’ll be back in a few days.  Maybe a week.”  Hux didn’t budge an inch, still unwilling to back down from this battle.  Ben rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  I’ll see you around then.”

The Jedi took several steps away before Hux finally felt himself crack just the faintest bit.  “Ben.”  His boyfriend paused, looking over his shoulder.  “Try not to get yourself killed.”  It was as close to an expression of sentiment as he could manage at the moment.

Ben seemed to get it and gave him that lopsided smile.  “Don’t worry, I won’t.  Come on, it’s me.”  And then he was gone, vanishing into the cockpit of a long-range starfighter which took off not long later.  Hux wasn’t there to watch it though.  That would have felt too much like giving this absurd mission his seal of approval which it most definitely did not have.  

The next one didn’t have his approval either.

Thankfully, at least Operation Apate began requiring more of his attention again.  Hux, as always, welcomed the distraction.  He and Kalin were finalizing the details on an upcoming mission when her comlink beeped several times in a row.  She waved off his questioning look.  “It’s nothing, Colonel.”

“Oh?”

Hesitating, Kalin rotated the device in her hand.  “It’s just a message from Lieutenant Connix.  She keeps me apprised of certain departures and arrivals as a favor.”

That was all she needed to say. “Ben?”

“Yes.”

Hux set his datapad down and sighed.  “Well, at least he’s alive.”

“And I believe he was successful.”

“Mm.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment before Kalin cleared her throat.  “Do you want to handle his debrief?”

“It’s been made very clear to me that his current set of missions are not under my control so no, that would be inappropriate,” Hux said with a tinge more bite than intended.  “One of Cracken’s people can do it.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “Trouble?”

“I’d prefer not to discuss it.”

“That sort of trouble then.”

“Werth.”

“I wasn’t going to press, Colonel,” she assured him, eyes already on her datapad again.  “I’ll request to sit in on the debrief in case he’s done anything that might affect any of our upcoming Apate movements.”

“Good idea,” he said, redirecting his attention back to their work.  

It wasn’t until they were wrapping up work for the day that Kalin broached a subject other than Apate again.  “You know, it’s been awhile since we’ve sparred.”

“It hasn’t been as easy to find the time since we left the _Adamant_ ,” he admitted.  

“Would’ve thought you’d welcome the stress relief,” Kalin said mildly despite all the implications behind her words.  The next moment, her tone took a mischievous turn as she winked and said, “Unless you’re now loyal to a different sort of stress-relieving activity…”

He didn’t miss a beat.  “Yes and how are things progressing between you and Ms. Sella?”

Kalin didn’t blink at the riposte.  “We’re taking things slow, actually.  Not much time for romance when there’s a war coming especially when you don’t work together.”

“We can look into reassigning--”

She cut him off with a shake of her head.  “Hux, it’s fine.  We both knew what we were signing up for when we started talking.  It makes the time we do get together more special.” There was a brief pause and then she gave him a little half-smile.  “Thank you for caring though.”

The tops of his ears tinged pink.  “Yes well…”  He hated every single time when he ended up in circumstances like these.  To cover his unease, he cleared his throat.  “I should go get a few more things done before dinner tonight.”

“Of course, Colonel,” Kalin said, smoothly shifting back into her military role.  “I’ll have my notes on the debrief for you first thing in the morning.”

He nodded curtly.  “Very good, Lieutenant Commander.”  She was just about to turn down a side corridor when his words made her pause.  “Oh and Kalin?  Let’s find some sparring time this week.  At your convenience, of course.”

“I’ll add it to your schedule,” Kalin said, unable to hide her smile.

~

Running Operation Apate meant that Hux now rated invitations to Resistance strategy meetings on his own merit and not just an advisor to General Organa.  While he tended to keep his mouth shut and hang back unless asked directly for his input, he enjoyed the diversion.  It was a nice reminder that there was more to the galaxy than his system of interest.  Often, the meetings would give him a new problem to mull over while trying to sleep without the stress of being responsible for deciding upon a tactic.  He appreciated having new challenges aside from what the simulators were able to generate.

It was after one such strategy session that Leia caught his eye as everyone began to disperse.  "Hux, a word?"

"Of course, General," Hux said immediately, following her out of the room and into a little used hallway. "If this is about the situation near Daxam IV, we can't match them in numbers but I think that we still ca-"

"Brendol, I need you to listen to me very closely."

Hearing his given name made Hux halt abruptly mid-word and he gaped soundlessly at her for a moment.  This conversation was clearly not going to go in any direction he could have possibly anticipated. "Ma'am?"

The corner of her mouth twitched. "I know you don't care for your first name but I need to be sure that you're listening to and understand what I'm saying."

For the first time in ages, Hux didn't argue or frown at being called Brendol by someone unrelated to him. Instead, he nodded curtly. "You have my undivided attention."

"Good." Leia took a deep breath, looking uneasier than he could remember ever recall. "You're closer to my son now than anyone. He trusts you. He loves you even if he hasn't said it yet." Hux didn't feel it was appropriate to comment one way or the other. "I won't presume to say how you feel about him but I know you care."

The noises that came out of his mouth were strangled. "I… yes.  Quite a bit."

She smiled, seeming to read between the words. "He has a heavy legacy on his shoulders; one I never wanted him to bear. I tried to spare him from that burden but it wasn’t to be. Pair that with a hot temper and..." Leia looked away for a brief moment. “It’s a less than ideal situation for anyone to find themselves in.”

Hux frowned ever so slightly.  “I don’t disagree, ma’am, but I’m not entirely sure I understand why this is something that needs to be--”

"I need you to watch him in case he starts falling to the dark side."

Eyes widened, he halted abruptly. "This isn't...you want me to spy on him?"

Leia shook her head. "No, I want you to be there for him and pull him back from that brink if you must."

“I don’t understand.”

The corner of her mouth twitched upwards.  “No, I don’t suppose you would.”

“I’d like to though.”

She nodded in the direction of the landing field and they continued their walk.  “How much do you know about the Force?”

“Only that it’s apparently more than a bedtime story for children.”

“I don’t think what I’m about to tell you will dissuade you any further from that notion.”

Hux shrugged.  “I’ve seen Ben toss grown people about without raising a finger and he sometimes knows things that no one’s actually said.  My disbelief has been rather suspended since we first met, General.”

Leia took a moment to compose her thoughts.  “Think of the Force as being an energy field that everything living is a part of and helps create.  The Jedi and others like them can feel it and use it.  They just do so differently.”

He frowned.  “I’m not sure that I follow.”

“I’m probably not the best person to explain this,” Leia said with a little shake of her head.  “This was always more my brother’s realm of expertise that mine.  Think of it as a state of mind.  The Jedi approach the Force from a sense of calm and use it to try and help others.  The Sith and other dark siders like them use it out of anger and for selfish purposes.”

“So they have different schools of thought,” Hux said with a shrug.   

“Not quite.  It’s more than that.  The dark side corrupts people.  It changes them.”

It finally clicked.  “Darth Vader.”

Anger mixed with sadness flashed briefly in her dark eyes.  “Yes.”

Hux didn’t know how to respond for a moment.  “You think Ben could turn into another Vader?”

“No.  Yes.  I hope not.  It would…” Leia trailed off, briefly losing herself in thought.  “It’s a possibility for any of us with the Force.”

This was without a doubt one of the strangest conversations he could ever recall having period much less with the last princess of Alderaan and he had only the faintest clue how to navigate through it.  “Let me see if I’m following… any of this.”  Leia gestured for him to continue.  “This… Force changes people depending on how they use it and you’d like me to keep an eye on Ben because you’re concerned that he might become like his grandfather.”  Leia nodded again and Hux took a deep breath.  “Ma’am, with all due respect, what in the stars do you think I could possibly do to stop him?  I’m painfully aware that he could kill me with a thought if he wanted.”

“I think that you can help pull him back.”

Hux was completely and utterly bewildered at this point.  “How?  I barely even believe in the Force.  I can’t help him with it.”

“He listens to you,” Leia said simply.

Hux couldn’t help but scoff at that.  “If he did, he wouldn’t be off on these Knights of Ren wild bantha chases lately.”

“He listens to you more than others.”

There was nothing he could say to counter that since in his heart, he knew it was true.  “This is all rather unusual, ma’am.”

“Most things related to this family are,” Leia said with a half smile.  It took some mild effort for Hux to keep his expression blank.  “I do understand that I’m asking is… Just help him if you can, Hux.  He trusts you.  I trust you.”

Hux squared his shoulders.  “I’ll do what I can, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Brendol,” she said as she patted him on the arm.  He must have twitched at the sound of his name again because her smile turned apologetic.  “Sorry, I’ll stop.”  Her comlink beeped insistently.  “And that’ll be Greer, wondering why we haven’t discussed this latest Senate speech.  We’ll talk more later, Hux.”

And then he was left behind, more than a bit bewildered by the entire conversation.  He didn’t quite know what to make of any of this.  Where he saw obsession in Ben’s focus on the Knights of Ren, Leia clearly saw danger.  That was more than enough to worry him.

He was fairly sure that he’d signed up for none of this when he’d first become involved with Ben and yet there he was.

~

“Hey,” Ben murmured quietly, dropping his bag and kissing him on the cheek.  “I didn’t die again.”

“Good,” Hux replied, keeping his focus on his work.  “And I assume you also managed to avoid being horribly maimed.”

“I kept all my parts and everything.”

“I’m rather attached to some of them.”

Ben smirked.  “Are you now?”

Hux frowned, glad they were mostly alone in the room.  “Don’t fish for compliments, darling.  It’s crass.”

“No, you’re right,” Ben said, flopping down into the chair beside him.  “It’s way more fun to draw them out of you in bed.”

“Different rules apply.”

Ben rolled his eyes.  “You and your protocol.”

“I know, I’m painfully stiff.  Like a droid.”

“Only sometimes,” Ben said, managing to tease a glance and a half smile out of him.  “Will I see you later?”

Hux finally set his datapad down for a moment, restraining himself from rubbing at his temples.  “We’ve got a mission plan to wrap up by the end of the day.  I simply don’t have the time right now.”

“I said later,” Ben said without any snippiness.  “We can eat dinner and then… you know…” He shrugged.

Hux raised an eyebrow.  “So that’s why you’re here.”

“No!  Okay sort of.  But no, I just miss you when I’m gone.  I miss being with you.  I sleep better when you’re with me.”

“As do I,” Hux found himself admitting before he could stop himself.  He would’ve been irritated by how damned sappy he sounded if he hadn’t caught the spark in Ben’s eye and forced himself to remember that caring about someone wasn’t a weakness.  “I’ll work as fast as I can,” he promised.

Ben considered it for all of two seconds before shrugging.  “Good enough,” he said, clambering to his feet again.  “Dinner then.  Even if I have to drag you out of here, Hux.”

He may not have been a fan of Ben’s suicidal side missions that Operation Apate was supposed to put a halt to and continued to strenuously object to them but at least Hux had very little to complain about during their eventual reunions.


	9. Chapter 9

It was strange.  When Hux had originally pitched what would become Operation Apate, he never had imagined that he himself would be one of the ranking officers used as one of the decoys.  Technically, he wasn’t supposed to be a part of this mission but Colonel Klivian had been reassigned at the last minute to deal with a problem on Coruscant and so Hux had found himself with no other options than running the ground part of the mission himself.  Kalin had offered to come along so they could multitask which made the expedition marginally better.  Getting to bark orders also seemed to help his mood.

The assignment wasn’t a difficult one but rather relatively lengthy when compared to similar ones for Apate.  The Resistance was just supposed to make a lot of noise on Ukio by giving the appearance of a staging ground just a little away from their supposed base.  Plus, the location gave them a chance to potentially gain a few recruits.  The First Order had become increasingly bold with their attacks against vulnerable shipping lanes and it was starting to affect people in a way that was sure to have the New Republic shifting uncomfortably in their overly plush seats.  (He left the actual recruiting to someone far more personable than he.)

They’d set up a makeshift camp just outside of town, not far from the spaceport.  Hux and Kalin were bent over a galaxy map around midday when a young sentry nervously cleared their throat.  “Uhh… Colonel?”

“Yes?” Hux asked, not looking up.

“There’s someone who wants to talk to you,” they said, shifting from foot to foot.

“Captain Zhar can deal with whoever it is.”

“I don’t know who Captain Zhar is but I kind of don’t want to kiss them when I could be kissing you.”

Hux’s head snapped up.  “Ben?”

The Jedi spread his hands wide and grinned.   “In the flesh!”

“What the blazes are you doing here?” he demanded even as Kalin dismissed the anxious lieutenant with a little wave.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Ben said, stepped forward and exchanging smiles with Kalin before leaning forward and following through on his promise of kissing Hux in a manner that was mostly acceptable for public.  (It wasn’t as if the smirking Lieutenant Commander Werth hadn’t walked in on worse before.)  “Aren’t you supposed to be running things back on base?”

“There was a change of plan.  It’s been happening more frequently as of late.  I thought you were supposed to be half the galaxy away.”

“I was until I wasn’t.  The Knights of Ren have been moving around so fast lately that I can barely track them to a planet before they leave again.”  

Kalin started.  “You’re tracking the Knights of Ren?”  Ben nodded.  “You tracked them here?”  He nodded again.  “Hux, we need to--”

“I know,” Hux said tersely, fingers already flying across his datapad to send emergency orders to all Resistance personnel on planet.  “Organize the ships.  Use my name as much as you need to.”

“Shouldn’t have to but got it,” she replied, all business as she left the tent at a very deliberate pace.

Baffled, Ben looked between him and Kalin’s departing back.  “What am I missing?”

Hux hit send on the evacuation order and looked up.  “You said that you’ve been tracking the Knights of Ren from planet to planet, no?”

“Yeah.”

“Including this planet.”

“Yeah but they’re always gone almost as soon as I get there.”

“Except this is a planet with a very loud Resistance presence.  I don’t doubt they arrived here by coincidence.”

“Oh.  OH.”

“Precisely.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Besides go back in time and stay away from this planet?”

“I’ll be offended by that another time.”

“I need to know everything you know about how many of the Knights of Ren are on planet, where they might be, and what sort of weapons they might be wielding."

“I don’t know, the usual ones?”

Hux fixed him with a hard stare.  “I don’t have time for jokes right now.”

Ben threw his hands up.  “It’s not a joke, Hux!  I don’t know.  I’ve been following a group of about half a dozen but if they’re trying to set a trap or they know you’re here, there could be a dozen more.”

“Not to mention the stormtroopers,” Hux said grimly, strapping a blaster on.  The probability of the Resistance making it off planet without having to fight their way to hyperspace was rapidly decreasing every second.  His blue eyes locked with Ben’s brown ones.  “We could use your help with this fight.”

“Like you even need to ask,” Ben said, pulling off his Jedi robe and shoving it into one of Hux’s bags.  “Where do you need me?”

“Help protect our people long enough so we can get them all off world,” Hux said simply.

“You got it,” Ben said, touching his lightsaber to his forehead in a sort of salute before turning to leave.

“Ben!” Hux said impulsively, making the other man pause. He managed half a smile. “I am glad to see you.”

Ben grinned. “I’ll try not to bring a war with me next time.”  And then he vanished.

Suddenly, this blue milk run of a mission had gotten a hell of a lot more complicated.  He hadn’t expected a fight but what else should one expect during war?

~

“So. I heard you’re our trouble magnet.”

Ben shrugged as they crouched behind cover just far enough away from the Resistance’s camp to see any approaching stormtroopers long before they arrived.  “It’s a family talent.”

“I bet.”  The man beside him snorted and then extended a hand.  “Kell Tainer, by the way”

“Ben Organa Solo,” he introduced himself unnecessarily as he look the other man up and down.  The commando looked to be a little bit younger than his mother with dark greying hair that was slowly receding.  Ben suspected that if they stood up straight, they’d be fairly close in height.  The most striking thing about him though was most definitely the large bag of demolitions he carried.  Which was saying something.

Kell caught him staring and grinned.  “I like bombs.  Never travel anywhere without them.  The bigger the explosion, the better although there was this girl I knew back in the Rebellion who always said the prettier the--”

It was then that Ben caught sight of the unit patch on his jacket and rudely interrupted.  “Wait, you’re a Wraith?”

“One of the originals,” Kell said with a two fingered salute.  

“Well what explains a few things,” Ben muttered.  He’d heard the stories about the Wraiths: an elite Intelligence unit that had started as a starfighter squadron during the Rebellion before Cracken had commandeered them.  They were known for being completely insane but still getting the job done… just not in the way that anyone expected.  Now that he thought about it, that was probably sort of how Hux saw him sometimes.

Kell smirked.  “I guess our reputation proceeds us even amongst you kids.”

“Yup,” Ben nodded.  “Did you guys really--”

The sound of blaster fire interrupted him and both men instinctively ducked.  “Whatever the question was, yes and it was probably actually much weirder than whatever the stories say,” Kell said grimly, slouching down a little further so he’d be less of a target.  “I count three.”

Ben half shut his eyes for a second.  “There’s a fourth behind the pillar.”  

“Yeah okay, I got him.”  There was a pause and then got off three rapid shots which clearly found their mark given the sound of clattering armor that followed.  “You want to play?”

With a shake of his head, Ben drew his blaster and took aim at another one of the stormtroopers.  It only took a few seconds for them to make short work of the rest.  “Scouts?”

“Scouts,” Kell confirmed, jumping over the crates they’d been hiding behind to steal a helmet off of one of the dead stormtroopers, fiddling with the communications device inside.  

Ben thumbed his own comlink on.  “Hey Kalin, you there?”

“ _Make it fast, Ben_ ,” she replied almost immediately. 

“We found scouts.  Stormtroopers.  Tell Hux I think there’s more in addition to whatever Knights of Ren are on planet.”

“ _Numbers_?”

“No clue but we took out four of them.”

“ _Understood.  Get back here as soon as you can.  Werth out._ ”

Ben glanced over at Kell who was still tinkering with the helmet.  “You get all that?”

The older man nodded.  “Yeah, let’s move.  Someone better than me with coms might be able to get into their channel.”

The Resistance camp looked drastically different from the one they’d left. Instead of looking decidedly lived in, the soldiers had built barricades in place of everything they’d packed up and seemed more than ready to fight if necessary. Clearly Ben and Kell hadn't been the only ones to encounter the First Order.

Kell tossed the helmet towards an alien whose species he’d never seen before. “Hey Runt, I brought you a present.”

“We are always glad to be thought of,” Runt replied, already pulling out the electronics so he could start tinkering.

Ben peeled off from the Wraiths, distracted by his search for Hux. Usually, he was easy to spot in a crowd between his height and very distinctive hair but he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, he found the next best person. “Hey Kalin.”

“Ben,” she replied distractedly, not looking up from her task. He wasn't offended. Even though she was definitely way more easygoing than Hux, the two shared more than a few professional tendencies.

“Where’s Hux?”

“Not sure,” Kalin said, shutting a crate and bending to lift it.

With a gesture, Ben grabbed it with the Force. “Any others?”

“Everything that’s shut.”

He levitated the other three too. “Where to?”

“On to the ship,” she said, gesturing in the right direction before taking a second to stretch and crack her neck. “Thanks, by the way. We’ve been going a million kilometers an hour since you got here.”

“And I thought I might make Hux smile for once.”

Kalin frowned ever so slightly. “Don't take it personally.”  

Ben shook his head. “I’m not.” He wasn't even sure he believed himself.

Kalin clearly didn't. “Right. You can put those there, by the way.”

With another thought, he set the crates down in the ship’s cargo hold and then glanced around. “This is a lot of people for one ship.”

“There’s another one,” she confirmed, “but it's more efficient if we load them one at a time. We’ve a better chance of getting people out. Plus, I’m not sure we could fit both in this landing field.”

Before Ben could respond, Hux reappeared, striding forward from somewhere deeper inside the ship. He frowned as he caught sight of them. “I thought you were doing reconnaissance with Tainer.”

“We reconed our way right into four stormtroopers,” Ben said dryly. “There’s going to be more.”

Hux swore. “And we haven't been quiet about our position either. Kalin, how close are we?”

“Very,” Kalin replied, referring to some file on her datapad. “My best estimate is that we’re about four minutes from take off and perhaps another half hour for the second ship. Forty minutes at the most.”

“Good,” he nodded. “We’ll need to--”

Anything further Hux was going to say was cut off by the sound of blaster fire. Instinctively, Ben took off running towards the sound of the fight, unsure whether to grab his blaster or lightsaber. The decision was made for him the next moment as he took in the scene before him and his lightsaber ignited with that distinctive _snap-hiss_. Hux would forgive him later for using himself as a distraction if it meant saving his people. It worked like a charm as most of the stormtroopers turned their fire on him, giving those in the open a chance to dive for cover and those at the barricades a moment to catch their breath before resuming firing.  He was so focused and in tune with the Force that he barely even heard someone shout a final call for the first shuttle before it lifted off thirty seconds later.  More and more stormtroopers kept arriving and eventually, Ben had to dive behind a stack of crates breathing heavily.  At least some of the Resistance had made it offplanet including… his gaze fell on that distinctive hair he’d been searching for earlier.    _Seriously?_

Carefully, he made his way over to Hux’s side and frowned, not wasting time on greetings. “Why are you still here?” 

Hux didn’t look up as he swapped in a fresh power pack for his blaster rifle.  “I’ll leave when all of my people are safe.”

“Hux…”

“This isn’t a discussion, Ben.  I suggest you stop wasting time and focus on fighting back.  We still need to load the second shuttle.”

Given how much he hated being told what to do, he sure had picked a bossy boyfriend.  Despite that, Ben shrugged and exchanged his lightsaber for his sidearm.  There was no point in arguing with Hux when he was in full command mode like this.

He hated these sorts of fights.  Hated them.  You couldn’t win them; just survive.  The Resistance was certainly holding its own but there were so many stormtroopers that it didn’t seem to matter how many they shot.  More just kept coming.  “I thought you said the First Order kidnapped kids for their bucketheads.”

“They do,” Hux replied grimly.  “Or at least they did.”

“Are you sure they’re not cloning them or something?”  He took Hux’s ensuing silence as a sign that he wasn’t in the mood for jokes.  Not that he ever really was.  Ben loved his boyfriend, he really did, but sometimes he needed to take that stick out of his ass.

At least, judging by the grin on Kell’s face both times he lobbed a grenade at the troopers, someone was making the best of it.

His concept of time had long since vanished but he knew they had to be close to the second ship leaving.  

It was Kalin who noticed it first.  “Wait,” she said with a frown.  “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Hux asked distractedly.

“Exactly,” she said.  “They’ve stopped firing.”

A sense of foreboding swept over Ben coupled with the feeling of an all too familiar presence.  “Oh no.”  Before anyone could reply, he swallowed hard as a dark robed figure strode onto the battlefield flanked by two Knights of Ren.  One of the Resistance fighters a few meters down fired at them only for Kyla Ren to deflect the blaster bolts away with a flick of her wrist.  With the power of the Force, she lifted him up and out of his hiding place and held the duro in midair, seemingly amused by his attempts to struggle until he tried to shoot her again.  With another flick of her wrist, she hurled him against a tree hard enough that they could hear the sickening sound of something snapping.  Ben took a deep breath.  “I guess that’s my cue.”

“Don’t be--”

He ignored whatever else Hux was going to stay and stepped out into the open, unignited lightsaber hilt in his hand. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re way too dramatic, Kyla?”

He could almost hear the smile in her voice despite the mask’s distortion.  “Ben Organa Solo.  I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“Hey all you had to do was stay put on any one of those planets I’ve been tracking you to,” Ben said with a shrug.  “Did you like your present?”

Kyla shrugged.  “I would have killed them anyways for letting you get away.”

“That’s not a very good way to inspire loyalty.”

“I don't require loyalty,” she hissed. “The Supreme Leader wants only the best in his service.”

“He shouldn’t have recruited you then,” Ben said with a smirk.

The next instant, he was just barely able to throw up his own mental defenses as she tried to grab him with the Force like she had the duro soldier.  His large frame didn’t budge an inch.  They were too evenly matched as invisible force pressed against invisible force.  It probably looked ridiculous to everyone else.  Kyla relented first.  “I know what you’re trying to do.  It won’t work.”

Ben shrugged.  “It was worth a shot.” 

She started pacing back and forth in front of him like a caged animal with far too much energy,  “You have two choices, Solo.”

“You can call me Ben,” he said glibly, almost able to hear Hux’s irritated groan.

Kyla ignored him.  “Surrender and I’ll allow your pitiful little Resistance friends to depart unharmed.”  It was impossible not to feel the anger and indignation that radiated from Hux through the Force at being called pitiful.  “Or you can keep fighting and I’ll leave no one but corpses to tell the story.”

“Is everyone who falls to the dark side this arrogant or is it just a you thing?” Ben asked, not looking behind him to consult Hux about which option he preferred.  He didn’t need to. 

She didn’t respond verbally but instead leapt forward, both ends of her saber blazing to life, a burning bright red.  He didn’t need the Force to warn him of the attack and easily countered with his own green blade, having to move quickly to avoid the other end.  This was one of the times when he wished he’d asked Uncle Luke to teach him how to fight with two lightsabers.  If she could try to be like one of the Old Republic Sith than he should get to try and be like one of their old Jedi.  The battle had resumed around them but he hardly noticed.  It was as if they were dancing through the blaster bolts without even trying.  Maybe it was the will of the Force or maybe the Force didn’t give a damn and it was just luck.  He didn’t care as long as he won. 

Kyla was fast; far faster than he remembered her being in the past.  The dark side had done nothing to dampen her natural talent but rather enhanced it.  Maybe Hux and Leia had had a point about what a bad idea it was for him to draw her out into the open on purpose.  (He’d never tell them that though.)  The fight took every last bit of his attention but at least she didn’t have the upper hand.  Not yet anyways. 

The shift in their duel was subtle but definite as Ben began to force Kyla back onto the defensive as he went on to the offensive. His own style lacked the grace and speed of hers but made up for it with the strength of his blows.  He had to keep her from winning not because he’d been hunting her but because everyone in the Resistance would die if he fell. It was arrogant but true. 

Ben was pushing her back now, slowly but steadily. She’d switched to just using one of her blades, their close proximity taking away any advantage two might have given her. Speed felt increasingly key as he swung down from overhead and then followed up with a fast attempt to hit her legs and then her torso, each attempt countered. 

His next strike landed true, slicing up the metal of her mask enough to mangle the entire contraption.  With a scream of rage, she pulled it off and tossed it to the side, revealing the face that lay beneath.  Even though he’d always known who was hidden behind the facade, it still felt like a hand was squeezing his heart when he saw brown eyes he’d known since she was born.  “Rey,” he breathed. 

“No,” she hissed, breathing heavily but otherwise outwardly ignorant to the burn across her cheek.  “That name isn’t mine.”

“Rey Skywalker,” Ben repeatedly, a little louder this time.  He could hear a gasp of shock from somewhere behind him.  “You think I could forget the face of my cousin?  Or her real name?”

“Is that supposed to mean something? You mean _nothing_ to me.”

“Is that why you’ve been hunting me for months then?” he countered.

Rey scowled. “You’re a problem that the Supreme Leader wants dealt with.  All of you Jedi are.”

“Why?” Ben pressed. “Is he scared that you might remember who you really are?  That you might leave.”

“My place is with the First Order.”

Ben stepped forward, just barely stopping himself from extending a hand towards her. “It doesn't have to be. We can still fix this. I miss you.” A flicker of doubt and hesitance appeared in her eyes. “We all miss you. Come home.”

It was clearly the wrong thing to say. The Force gave him no warning and he just barely raised his lightsaber in time to block her strike. It was just a diversion though as she reached out and _grabbed_ two Resistance soldiers with her mind, bringing them right into the stormtroopers’ line of fire. “Which one do you want to save?” Kyla asked mockingly, raising them even further up in the air before letting go.

As soon as he saw who one of her victims was, Ben didn't even have to consider it. There was no way she’d paid any attention to who she’d grabbed, not if she was trying to truly torture him. It was Kalin. He had to save Kalin. There wasn't a choice once he realized that he couldn't help both of them and defend himself still. Maybe his uncle could have but Ben had no such delusions of grandeur. He was no Luke Skywalker. That didn't stop the feeling of guilt when the other body hit the ground with a sickening snap. There was no time to stop and wallow in it though. In his peripheral vision, he could see some of the Resistance fighters laying down suppressing fire while others jumped out of cover to retrieve their compatriots’  bodies, both the dead and severely wounded.

Guilty fueled the rage within him and he surrendered himself to the emotions, letting the Force flow through him. He didn't think, he acted. He moved. Fast but not fast enough. The dark side fueled Rey and somehow, she was even faster. She didn't go for the crippling blow but rather quick jabs and swipes from her lightsaber that resulted in minor wounds to his arms and torso. It was smart. And it was adding up to hurt.  He let it strengthen him.

It was almost embarrassing that he had to keep falling back on his superior height and weight to get the upper hand but he saw no choice. The Resistance had to be close now to their second ship leaving. He just had to hold on just long enough to… There. That was his opening.

He swung down again and she countered but he didn’t relent this time, shifting his grip to press down.  She had to draw on the Force to bolster her own strength. “You won't win,” she hissed. “I had all the same training as you and more.”

“Training doesn't matter, little cousin,” he taunted her. “If you were so much better, you would have won already.”

Rage radiated from her. “You’re only still alive because the Supreme Leader wants it.”

He started, surprised by the revelation that he doubted she’d meant to let slip. “So you can't kill me then.”

“Ben!” Hux shouted, pulling his attention away from the duel at the worst possible moment.  “We have to leave.”

Bristling, he couldn’t spare even a glance towards the older man.  “I’m busy.”

“I don’t give a damn about your family drama!” Hux snapped, hands putting pressure on a gaping wound to Kalin’s torso.  “And I especially don’t give a damn when it’s going to cost more of my people their lives.”

Rey (no she was Kyla now, he had to remind himself again) was breathing heavily, pushing back against him so their lightsabers continued to clash, green against red.  “You better run home, Benny.  Mother won’t like it if you get more of her soldiers killed.”

“Shut up!” Ben spat, pressing down harder and feeling the anger brewing within him.  

“Ben,” Hux tried again, voice pitched lower.  “It’s Kalin.  I’m not going watch her die.  Don’t make me do that.  That’s not you.”

He was right, Ben realized with a start.  It wasn’t.  Rey Skywalker was the one who’d fallen to the dark side.  Kyla Ren was the one who now saw her comrades as expendable if that was what it took to achieve her goal.  He couldn’t… that wasn’t… that wasn’t his path.  With a frustrated cry, he _pushed_ with the Force, sending Kyla flying back about a dozen paces along with her remaining Knights of Ren.  “GO!” he shouted over his shoulder even though the Resistance was already moving.  Hux carried Kalin’s limp body and she wasn’t the only soldier leaving the impromptu battlefield not under their own power.  He gritted his teeth and kept pushing, hell-bent on buying them as much time as possible.

There were few times in his life when he’d been happier to hear the roar of a ship’s engines especially once it was coupled with Kell bellowing, “SOLO, LET’S MOVE.”  Releasing the barrier, he spun and took a running leap for the boarding ramp, letting the Force help him reach the elevated platform.  

The last thing he saw as the ground of Ukio rapidly fell away was Kyla Ren’s furious face, free hand curling into a fist even as she extinguished her lightsaber.  

And then he collapsed just inside the ship.

~

Hux wasn’t sure that he’d remembered to breath much less sit down the entire flight back to D’Qar.  Out of the over 35 Resistance personnel he’d taken to Ukio, half were wounded and six of those had critical injuries and they had five bodies in their hold.  That in itself would have been a shock never mind this Skywalker nonsense.  He couldn’t even remember the last time there had been such a high casualty rate on his watch.  The inevitable chat with Resistance leadership once they returned was not going to be pleasant. This, he determined, must be what failure felt like.

The medbays on both ships did what they could for the injured which was essentially restricted to stabilizing the most critically wounded and patching up the more minor scrapes and blaster grazes.  Thankfully, the journey through hyperspace to D’Qar was relatively fast even with the misdirection jumps they were forced to make to throw off any would be pursuers.  Every hour counted when it came to injuries like these.  At least the medical team on base was one of the best in the galaxy, many of whom had served in the prior galactic wars.  He’d ensured that D’Qar knew everything possible about the arriving injuries well before they landed, including the medic’s report along with his own very preliminary mission report.  A wave of relief washed over him as they landed and Dr. Kalonia and her team swept away Kalin and the rest of the critically injured. 

Tycho’s brow was creased with concern as he approached him.  “What happened?” 

“Everything,” Hux said bitterly.  “But at least I can report that Operation Apate is working.”

“What happened?” Tycho repeated calmly.

“Stormtroopers, the Knights of Ren, and their master.”

“Casualties?”  Hux nodded. “How many?”

“Five dead thus far, at least 17 injured.  It could have been worse but it’s still not good.”

The older man spared a glance towards the last few Ukio survivors who still lingered near the ships, unloading the crates.  “Ten years ago, you would have told me those casualties were within the margin of acceptable losses.”

“With as few people as we have, there are no acceptable losses,” he said.

“Very true,” Tycho acknowledged even if it clearly wasn’t the point he was going for.  

Hux ignored it.  He didn’t care for any sort of conciliatory conversation at the moment with an underlying message about what a better person he’d become since leaving the First Order.  Alys had been right: the New Republic had made him soft.  Trusting someone made you vulnerable.  He’d forgotten that but this was not the time for self reflection.  “My full written report will likely be delayed by a day, sir.  There are more variables than usual and I’m still unsure how we specifically caught the Knights of Ren’s attention much less Kyla Ren’s.”

Clearly the preliminary combat report had already made its way to Tycho despite his questions. “I understand she’s responsible for much of the damage?”

“The Resistance held our own against the stormtroopers and the Knights but their Master…”  Hux shook his head.  “I’ve never encountered a force of destruction quite like her before.  We’d be dead if we hadn’t had her--if Knight Solo wasn’t on our side.”

“You’ve never personally seen her before?”

“No.  It was quite a...revelation.”

There were so many things that he’d left unsaid with that one word but Tycho seemed to pick on them despite his expression never changing.  “I’d imagine.”

Hux hesitated.  “Did you know, sir?”

Tycho frowned.  “About what?”

“Kyla Ren.  Who she really is.”

It was the Alderaanian’s turn to hesitate.  “I… I had my suspicions but Leia’s never said anything.”

“So everyone knew but me,” Hux said with a dark laugh.

“Leia’s always kept her family affairs close to the chest.  I imagine it’s a residual effect of being raised royal.”

“Of course,” Hux murmured, trying to pull back his emotions again.  Tycho had been a very understanding and encouraging superior officer and mentor over the years, sometimes even almost a friend and yet it would be highly inappropriate to express his dissatisfaction with the Skywalkers and their secrets to him.  “General, if you don’t mind excusing me, I’d like to go check on my people and perhaps find a uniform without blood on it before leadership asks me to report.”

Tycho nodded before they exchanged salutes.  “Of course.  Carry on, Colonel.  We can discuss further later.”

“Thank you, sir.”

As uncomfortable as he felt in his bloodied uniform, he instead set course towards the medbay only to be intercepted by General Cracken. “Hux, good. I was hoping to find you.”

Suppressing a sigh, Hux straightened and turned to face the Resistance’s intelligence chief. “What can I do for you, General?”

“We’d like to debrief you now while everything is fresh,” Cracken said. “Where are Zhar and Solo?”

“I don’t know,” Hux replied a bit shorter than he would have under better circumstances. “Captain Zhar was on the other ship and Knight Solo was in the ship’s medbay the last I saw him.”

Cracken didn't seem hung up on propriety. “I’ll send someone to find Zhar.  Come on, Ackbar and I want to hear your version of events.”

The feeling of relief that washed over him when the old intelligence general didn't mention Leia’s name was an unfamiliar one. He didn't fight it. Instead, he went through the motions of the debriefing almost in a daze, mechanically answering each of Ackbar’s and Cracken’s questions.  Far too many answers ended up being “I don’t know, sir.”  It felt odd to be doing one of these by himself and without any of his trusted officers at his side. He hadn't realized how used he’d gotten to having someone else around that he could rely on.  

“...sure there will be more questions at a later time,” Cracken was saying. “This will do for now.”

Hux saluted, his body responding before his brain could even fully process the words. “I’ll have a full report for you within 48 hours.”

Finally, he made his way to the base’s medbay. Dr. Kalonia was just stripping off a pair of bloody gloves and accepting a canteen of water from an assistant when he arrived. She nodded in greeting. “Colonel.”

“Ma’am,” he said, inclining his head respectfully and waiting.

She took another long drink before speaking again. “I don’t have as good news for you as I’d like but we have every reason to be optimistic for all the people you brought back from Ukio.”

“Including Lieutenant Commander Werth?” Somehow, he kept his voice steady.

“She’s stable but I’m afraid there’s not much else I can tell you yet. Right now, we need to let the bacta do its work.”  Kalonia raised an eyebrow as she took in his ruined attire.  “Do one of my techs need to--”

“It’s not mine,” Hux cut in. “It’s mostly Kalin’s.”

She nodded, seemingly taking a fair bit from those six words. “I see. Well. We’ll make sure that someone lets you know once we know anything else about your aide’s condition.”

“I’d appreciate that.” He glanced around the medbay but didn't easily spot a certain giant. “And Jedi Solo…?”

“I believe he was treated by another doctor but he’s not here.”

“I see. I won't take up any more of your time, Doctor.”  Kalonia barely waited for him to finish his sentence before smiling and turning away to attend to another patient.  It seemed prudent to vacate her territory as he was only going to be in the way.  He stumbled upon Ben sitting on a crate a hallway over from the medbay, looking as tired as he felt and much worse for the wear.  “There you are.”

Ben took another swig of water from a canteen beside him before smiling tiredly in greeting.  “Hey Hux.”

“Have you been the medbay yet?” he asked, brow furrowed as he took in the assortments of burns and singed fabric that decorated the younger man’s body.

He shook his head.  “One of the medics onboard dealt with the worst of it once they woke me back up.”

“You really should let the doctors take a better look,” Hux said, fingers brushing lightly just above the wound on his left shoulder.

Ben pushed away his hand.  “I’m fine.  The crew need Dr. Kalonia more than I do.  I just need to sleep or something.  How’s Kalin?”

Hux took a step back, folding his arms across his chest.  “It was close but the outlook is good.  Dr. Kalonia didn’t have much more that she could tell me. They’ll know more in a few hours.”

“But she’ll live?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Ben said forcefully.  “I’m glad.”  Hux didn’t say anything in response and silence fell between them again for a long minute before Ben sighed.  “What?”

Hux took another moment to compose himself, trying to clamp down on the cold rage that had continued to build within him ever since Ukio and was rapidly approaching critical mass.  “You lied to me.”

“What?” he repeated although the question behind it was different this time.

“Two years,” Hux said quietly.  “We’ve been partners in this fight for almost two years and you’ve lied to me the entire time.”

“I didn’t lie.  I just didn’t tell you.”

“Don’t split hairs with me right now, Ben.  I’m hardly in the mood.”

Ben glared.  “I’m the one who got beat to hell, not you.”

Hux couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his voice any longer.  “No, of course.  You’re right.  You did just fight Kyla Ren… the woman we’ve hunted and tangled with multiple times over the last year and who you never thought to mention was _your kriffing cousin!_ ”

“Why does it matter that she’s my cousin?” Ben countered.

“Why does it matter?” Hux almost yelled before somewhat reining in his emotions again.  “You spend so much damned time insinuating that I don’t do any of this relationship nonsense correctly when all the while you’ve been keeping this from me.” His tone turned bitter.  “What happened to all of that talk about trust and partnership?”

There was more than his fair share of anger in Ben’s dark eyes.  “It wasn’t just my secret.  It was my family’s.”

“Ah yes. The Exalted Skywalker family.  We must all bow before our galactic heroes,” Hux said mockingly.  “We can’t have another dark side secret about them getting out.  No one can be trusted not to betray them. After all, we’ve shared a bed for a year and yet you still didn't deem me worthy of knowing.”

“Kyla… Rey… everything’s more complicated than you’re making it sound.”

“There’s nothing complicated about stringing the words “Kyla Ren is actually my cousin Rey Skywalker” into a sentence.  Look, I even did it for you.” 

Ben didn’t look angry anymore, just hurt.  “It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you.  I didn’t think you’d care this much.” 

“You thought wrong.” 

“Yeah, I get that now.” 

Hux just barely managed to refrain from actually shaking with rage.  “Do you remember when we worked that extraction mission to get Liselle off planet?  And the briefing afterwards that everyone fled while you and your mother fought?”  Ben nodded.  “I asked you if there was anything I should know.  Do you remember that too?” 

“Yeah,” Ben said softly. 

He stabbed him angrily in the chest with two fingers.  “That was the moment when you should have told me.  When you should have trusted me!” 

Ben took a step back even as Hux took one towards him.  “I do trust you.” 

“Do you?” Hux asked coolly.  “You’ve said that before but your actions indicate otherwise.  It’s enough to make me wonder what else you’ve said but didn’t really mean.  Like all that talk of love.”  He spat the last word out, the first time he’d ever said it in Ben’s presence. 

The blood drained from Ben’s face.  “Hux, I--” 

“You what?” Hux said, more cruelly than he’d intended. 

“I did mean it.” 

“I can’t believe that either.” 

“That I love you?” Ben leaned forward. “Why does it even matter? You don't love me back. I don't even think you know what love is!” 

Hux felt his cheeks flush red as Ben’s jab hit far too close to the mark.  “And?” 

“So who the hell are you to lecture me about it?” Ben demanded. “I don't think you’ve ever loved anything in your life!” 

He clenched his teeth. “That's not true.” 

“Oh. Right.” Ben rolled his eyes. “I forgot about your ship and your work.  Those always ranked above me.” 

“Don't be absurd!” 

“I’m not!  Did you ever hear yourself talk about the _Adamant_?”

“The _Ada_ \--”  Hux rolled his eyes.  “I gave her up for you.  Again!” 

Ben crossed his arms.  “You gave her up for your little operation.”

“Which I only came up with in an attempt to help you, you idiot!”

“Because I asked!”

“Because I didn’t want to see you die thanks to a poorly executed plan!”  Both men were breathing heavily, standing toe to toe as they shouted at each other.  They hadn’t fought like this since their very early days together on the _Adamant_ ; there hadn’t been the need to argue like this.  

“So you do care,” Ben finally said, turmoil readily apparent in his dark eyes.

He swallowed hard.  “How can that even be a question?”

“But you don’t love me.”

Hux hesitated, unsure for the first time in the entire argument.  “I… I don’t know.”

Ben held his gaze for a handful of long moments before looking down and away.  “Yeah.  That’s what I thought.”

“This isn’t about feelings,” Hux foolishly pressed onwards, unable to bring himself to say the word again.  “It’s about how you apparently don’t trust me; something I find far more important than sentiment.”

“It’s not--”  Ben threw his hands in the air with exasperation, wincing as he aggravated an injury.  “I told you that I do trust you.”

“But not with this.” 

“I couldn’t--” 

“--trust me?” Hux finished for him, raising an eyebrow.  Ben fell abruptly silent.  “Let me see if I’m understanding all of this.  Apparently I can't understand love but I trust you and you supposedly love me but you don't trust me,” Hux said bitterly, trying to force himself not to storm away. “Am I missing anything?”

“You’re not being fair,” Ben protested. 

“The galaxy isn't fair,” Hux retorted.   

Petulantly, he countered, “Well, it should be.” 

Frustrated, Hux pivoted around and began to walk away.  “Grow up, Ben.  Come find me once you’ve determined whether I’m worthy of _all_ of your trust.” 

“Come find me once you figure out whether you’ve got a heart!” Ben shot back. 

Hux didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing any reaction.  It was struggle enough to try and clamp back down on his emotions albeit rather unsuccessfully.  He wasn’t sure what the last time was when he’d lost control like this… if he’d ever lost control quite like this but he decidedly didn’t like it.  Life had been far simpler when all he had was work and no one in his life who made him feel this strongly.  Never in a thousand years could he have predicted that he’d feel so deeply betrayed by an Organa Solo of all people. 

It took hours for Hux to calm himself down enough to make his way back to their quarters.  The quarrel was far from forgotten but he’d felt confident that he could at least look at Ben again without wanting to yell at him.  As soon as he set foot into the small room, he felt like the wind had been knocked right out of him.    
  
Everything of Ben’s was gone.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be perfectly honest with all of you: this chapter has been a royal pain to write (as any of you who follow me on tumblr are probably aware) and while I know it's not perfect/completely polished... I couldn't look at it anymore. So here we are. With these two idiot boys who just need to learn how to communicate. Also... how many of you pointed out ages ago that Hux was basically a ticking time bomb of emotions?
> 
> Next chapter won't be for probably two weeks. Yay holidays? (I'm really tired as I'm writing this note. Can you tell?)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter this time around. Hux is a goddamn grouch and really didn't want to do anything this chapter except be a somewhat unreasonable grouch. We get more Ben next time, I promise.

They’d spent plenty of time apart during their time with the Resistance but sleeping alone felt so markedly different now. Hux lasted three days before he asked the quartermaster to be reassigned to a different room. She’d raised an eyebrow at him but hadn't asked any questions and merely passed him a new room assignment and door code which he’d taken and immediately moved all of his things.

He hated it. He hated everything about this but  _ he _ hadn't been the one to leave and  _ he _ hadn't been the one who’d lied for so damned long. As if affection could ever rank higher than something as critical as trust…  Perhaps Hux was better off this way though.  Affection had given him a weakness first with Alys and now with Ben.  It was a weakness he didn’t need. At the same time, he couldn’t lie even to himself and pretend that he hadn’t enjoyed their time together.  After sharing a bed for so long, they’d known how to make other gasp with a touch and writhe with a kiss.  There was something comforting about being with another person who knew you that well even as they were pressing you roughly against a wall in a kiss. 

But it was just sex.  Or at least that was what Hux kept trying to tell himself fairly unsuccessfully. 

The familiarity of Operation Apate welcomed him with open arms.  He barely even had to think about anyone from the blasted Skywalker family once he’d finished his mission and combat reports.  The Ukio debriefing had been...awkward to say the least and long thanks to its wayward and violent nature.  He and Ben had stood several feet apart, neither of them looking at the other or even acknowledging the other’s presence unless absolutely necessary.  No one even breathed the name Rey Skywalker but it hung over both of them like an ominous cloud. Somehow, that little detail hadn’t found its way into any of the official reports.  Convenient.  Leia had frowned suspiciously at their behavior but thankfully said nothing.  He was sure it was only a matter of time before she figured it out.  Hux hadn’t waited around after they were dismissed; hadn’t wanted to risk getting pulled into an uncomfortable conversation. 

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been planning on stop by the medbay afterwards anyways.  He’d checked in on Kalin once a day but she’d been either asleep or in a bacta tank each time.  Dr. Kalonia assured him repeatedly that her condition was stable and that she was healing as well as could be expected and that she just needed rest.  Her assurances had hardly belayed his concern. 

The familiar sound of Kalin’s voice reached his ears a moment before he rounded the corner to where her bed was.  A wave of relief washed over him at the mere sound and a partial smile even crept onto his face for the first time in days.  She looked far better than the previous times he’d swung by, actually sitting up in bed and smiling at the other woman who sat on the edge.  He cleared his throat awkwardly.  “I can come back later.”

Korr Sella glanced towards him as she rose to her feet.  “That’s okay, Colonel.  If you’re here, the debriefing must be over and Leia will be looking for me soon anyways.”

“This wasn’t one of those simple missions either,” Hux said apologetically.

Korr smiled.  “Even better.”  She bent over again to kiss Kalin briefly on the lips and he politely looked away.  “I’ll come by later, okay?”

“Thanks, Korrie,” Kalin said with a smile. 

The other woman exchanged nods with him before leaving.  He raised an eyebrow.  “I thought you were taking things slow.”

“Well, we’re not spitting out declarations of love or anything,” she clarified with a shrug that was quickly followed by a wince.  “Let me recommend against getting shot in the stomach.  It hurts.”

“I’m quite glad you survived to even tell me this,” Hux said sincerely.  “You’ve had us all rather worried.”

The corner of Kalin’s mouth turned upwards.  “You’re always worried.”

“Fair point,” he conceded, “but you know what I meant.”

“I did.”

Hux cleared his throat.  “How are you feeling?”

“As good as I can be,” she answered honestly.  “It hurts but the doctors have me on a lot of good painkillers.  I’m just trying to piece together everything that happened on Ukio.  Did I get caught in some sort of Force fight between Kyla Ren and Ben?”  Hux nodded.  “And did I hear… did Ben say Rey Skywalker?”

He nodded again.  “Useful information we could’ve used during our mission last year, yes.”

Kalin frowned. “What happened?”

“We got you back to Dr. Kalonia in time,” Hux said, purposely misunderstanding her.  “Most of our people made it out on the ships and we brought home the bodies of the five who didn’t.”

“So I was lucky then,” she murmured, wincing again as she shifted on the bed. 

“Yes,” he said frankly.  “And I’m rather glad you were.”

Kalin was quiet for a moment before softly saying, “Ben came to see me, you know.  Said he felt responsible for what happened.”  Hux felt fairly sure that Ben was to blame for her injury but said nothing.  “He seemed… I’m not sure what but he wasn’t himself.  Did something happen between you?”

It was a genuine struggle to keep his face blank and for the first time, Hux almost regretted letting such a close friendship build between them because this was the last thing he wanted to discuss with anyone.  “We talked.”

“And?”

“And nothing,” Hux said flatly. 

“We’re friends, Hux,” Kalin said, a bit sharper than usual.  “And you know that I’m fond of Ben too.  I can tell when something’s not right.  You can talk to me.”

He shook his head.  “You’re the one in the medbay with a critical injury.  You don’t need to hear about my trivial problems.”  She fixed him with an expectant stare and he sighed before saying with a tinge of bitterness, “We’ve gone our separate ways.  I didn’t care to be with someone who didn’t trust me.”

Kalin didn’t say anything for a moment, corners of her mouth turned ever so slightly downwards.  “I always thought you were good for each other,” she said finally.  “Even when you were insisting that it was nothing.  I think that you still are.”

He shifted uncomfortably.  “Yes… well… It’s of no matter now.  And at least we can now take Kyla Ren’s identity into account when working on Apate.”

“I can help with that,” Kalin immediately offered, sitting up straighter.  “Dr. Kalonia said that I can’t leave here for at least another few days but my brain works just fine and it’s getting boring in here.”

“No,” Hux said firmly.  “You’re going to focus on resting and getting better.  Liselle and I can handle Apate by ourselves for a few days.”

“Hux…”

“We’ll handle it.”

With a defeated sigh, Kalin dropped back onto her pillow again.  “I’m going to remember this if you’re ever in the medbay and anxious to start working again, Colonel.  I’m going to remember and confiscate every last datapad within reach.”

“I’ll make it a point to not get shot,” he deadpanned.  

“It’s harder than it looks.  Hux, are you sure that I can’t--”

“No.”

“--then at least use Varn or Goban to help in the meantime,” she insisted.  “Between them, they know as much about Apate as I do.”

Hux folded his arms across his chest.  “If I agree, will you cease your concerns and focus on healing?”

“I can promise the latter, sure,” Kalin offered easily before nodding towards his comlink which had been steadily beeping for the last twenty seconds.  “You should answer that.”

He glanced down at the display. “It’s just something for Apate. It can wait.”  All Kalin had to do was arch an eyebrow at him and he sighed, defeated.  “I suppose that the work never ends and that I must take my leave.”

“You know where to find me,” she said with a half smile.  “But Hux… if there’s something I can do, let me know.”

The double meaning behind her words wasn’t lost on him but he pushed it down, merely nodding.  “I’ll come again tomorrow and will strive not to step on the toes of any other visitors you may have.”  That managed to get an actual smile out of her.

Somehow though, even after seeing his aide and friend clearly on the path to recovery, Hux didn’t feel better.

That feeling of discontent lingered and mixed with a general underlying sense of anger he’d had ever since Ukio.  He was grateful for the familiarity of his work but it was an increasingly poor distraction from the frustration that was building up inside him.  It was days later when a barked order hit his ears just as he was reaching for the palmprint scanner to the Intelligence bunker.

“About face, Colonel!”

Instinctively, Hux spun around smartly before he realized who it was and frowned.  “What?  We have those mission details to finalize.”

Liselle shook her head.  “Already did it.  Come on, there’s another job to do.”

“Related to Apate?”

“Sure.”

The blonde was a fantastic liar but it wasn’t hard to see through her deception especially once she led them towards the base’s physical training center.  “Afyon, we have actual work to do.”

“This is actual work.  Come on, jacket and boots off,” she ordered briskly, bending to do so herself.

Sighing Hux reached for his jacket fastenings, shrugging the restrictive garment off.  “I didn’t realize you were one for this sort of thing.”

“My mother was a spy for the Rebel Alliance.  Spent most of her time in the field and learned every form of unarmed combat that she could.  She was very insistent that me and my siblings learn at least one of them when we were kids,” Liselle explained, starting to stretch.  “And there was really no getting out of it.  She may have been half your size but I bet she could’ve knocked down Ben easily enough.”  He flinched and she smiled.  “See?  You need to hit something.  It’ll make you feel better.”

“I don’t usually make it a habit of exchange blows with my officers.”

“Technically, I haven’t been one of your officers for a while now and since Kalin’s still in the medbay, I’m the next best thing.”

Hux still hesitated.  “This is unnecessary.”

“I disagree.”  Liselle straightened again.  “You’re not going to break me, Hux.”

“I promise you, that was never a concern,” he said dryly.  His time in both the First Order and the New Republic had dissuaded him from any sexist nonsense of that sort.

“Good.  So stop making excuses.”

As loathe as Hux was to admit it, Liselle was right.  In the past, he’d generally found sparring to be the right mix between strategy and physical activity.  It had an almost meditative quality at times. Trading blows with Liselle was different than it was with Kalin or even than it had been with Ben the handful of times they’d sparred.  Ben was a powerhouse whose brute force technique with a lightsaber translated to his punches and he and Kalin had trained together so frequently that they knew each other’s styles as well as their own.  Liselle’s sparring technique felt like a fluid melding of multiple schools which made sense given her teacher.  Whoever the elder Afyon had been, she’d certainly known what she was doing when it came to training her children.  

Unlike Kalin, Liselle didn’t talk as they fought.  Hux was grateful.  Neither one of them were particularly chatty on the best of days and neither did they have the same sort of easy understanding that he and Kalin did.  Regardless, their sparring did seem to have almost therapeutic quality.  Despite getting knocked to the ground thrice, Hux found his mind clearing even as he let out all his frustration with his ridiculous ex boyfriend.  

“You almost had me there,” Liselle said, offering him a hand up.  He shook his head and she dropped to sit beside him, still breathing heavily. 

“You’re being polite,” Hux said dryly, torn between wanting water and not wanting to move yet.  Laziness was victorious.  “I only won that second bout by pure luck.”  

“Luck counts for a lot in this world,” she said philosophically.  “Still annoyed that I distracted you from Operation Apate?”

Reluctantly, he shook his head.  “No, you were right.  I’ve been distracted lately.  It’s caused errors in the work.”

Skeptical, she brushed wayward strands of blonde hair off her forehead.  “Uh-huh.  Well.  Let me know if you want to do this again even after Kalin’s better again.  I could use the break from a desk more often.”

“I’ll have to piece my dignity back together first,” Hux said with a little shake of his head.  

Liselle shrugged, rising to her feet and retrieving her boots and jacket.  “It’s an open offer.”

“I’ll consider it.”  Hux slowly pushed himself back to a standing position as she headed towards the exit.  “Afyon.”  She paused, looking back.  Hux swallowed hard.  “Thank you.”

She was silent for a moment before nodding.  “Any time.”

The sense of calm lingered for only as long as it took for Hux to run into Ben again.  Admittedly, it happened far less often nowadays.  Before, they’d shared quarters and Hux knew for a fact that Ben would go out of his way to run into him in the corridors if he sensed him through the Force.  Now, he appeared to do the precise opposite.  Hux didn’t blame him.  

Every time he glimpsed him across a crowded room or found himself thinking about him, Hux got a sinking feeling in his gut.  He hadn’t lied to Ben when he’d said that he didn’t know if he loved him back.  Maybe the Jedi was right and he didn’t know what love was but if these sorts of emotions were a part of it, he was fairly sure that he wanted nothing to do with the entire affair.  Why invite this sort of pain into your life?

Unfortunately, there was no avoiding each other when it came to sharing a short shuttle ride one morning.  It would have looked ridiculous to wait for the next one when there were plenty of empty seats available and ultimately, Hux valued dignity over a few minutes of discomfort.  

Neither of them said anything at first, not making eye contact like they were awkward adolescents at the Academy.  Finally Ben said, “How’ve you been?”

“Busy with my work,” Hux replied tersely.  There was silence again until he finally glanced up and saw how dejected the other man looked.  Despite himself, he internally sighed.  “And you?”

“I--the same,” Ben said lamely.  “I train a lot.  For whenever we run into the Knights of Ren again.”

“I can’t imagine why.” 

Ben folded his arms across his chest, expression a borderline pout.  At least some things never changed.  “Fine.  Be like that then.”

“You’re the one who left,” Hux said coolly, all of his anger from that day edging its way back to the forefront of his mind.

“And you walked away first,” Ben shot back, just loud enough to catch the attention of some of the others in the shuttle.  

Inwardly, he groaned.  If news of their break up hadn’t made its way about the base already, it most certainly would now.  That was the unfortunate side effect of once dating someone who was the son of literal royalty and who was as subtle as a herd of banthas.  “This hardly an appropriate venue for this sort of conversation.”

“So what is then?”

“Somewhere private,” Hux hissed.  “When neither of us are on duty.”

“Right.  So never then.”

It felt almost juvenile to ignore him and just stare as his datapad but it felt like the only safe option left to him.  Thankfully, the shuttle landed only mere minutes later and Ben almost bolted down the boarding ramp, headed off to wherever he was going.  Teravo was waiting for him in the landing field and raised an eyebrow at Ben’s quickly retreating back.  “What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m sure that I don’t have the faintest idea,” Hux lied poorly.

Teravo frowned, clearly not buying any of it.  “But don’t you…”

“Ele.”

The Mirialan shrugged.  “Sure, sure.  I’ve got my report from the  _ Adamant’s _ last run for you to go over.  I’ll brief you on the highlights, if you want?”

There were some days, Hux realized, when he regretted his tragic habit of leaving a more structured military life for one increasingly more relaxed.  This was definitely one of those days.


	11. Chapter 11

Ben didn’t want to think.  He just wanted to fight.  It was the only thing that made sense anymore.  He’d talked to General Cracken behind everyone’s backs and gotten a mission that would drop him right into the middle of a likely war zone.  It was probably one of the only times he’d been glad that the First Order was growing bolder about their attacks on New Republic rim worlds.  He went with a small team of commandos, men and women he didn’t know except kind of by sight.  The D’Qar base wasn’t that big.  None of them really talked.  Ben didn’t care about what the mission actually was.  He left the plans and the particulars to the commandos’ captain. 

He just wanted to be a weapon.  It was the only thing he felt good for anymore.

The Force flowed through him effortlessly.  There was no peace or serenity.  Just emotion.  Uncle Luke would have lectured him for an hour for fighting like this but he didn’t care anymore.  Besides, why should anything the old man thought matter?  He’d run away when Rey had turned and ruined everything.  Luke had run away and Ben had stayed.  He shouldn’t get a say anymore.

It took a moment after the last stormtrooper fell for Ben to realize that it was over.  He stood there, ignited lightsaber still in hand and pointed towards the ground, breathing hard for a long minute before thumbing the green blade off.  “Where next, Captain?”

The commando shook his head.  “Nowhere.  We’re almost done here.  You can head back to the ship, if you want.  Our slicers only need another minute and we can handle security.”

Ben stared at the older man for a minute before turning and leaving.  It was fine.  He needed time to cool down and not just from the physical exertion.  His whole self was still buzzing, every part still strongly attuned to the Force.

He tried meditating on the short flight back to D’Qar.  It didn’t really work.  He couldn’t even come near feeling calm much less emptying his mind.  Calm hadn’t been an option since he’d confronted Kyla Ren and he and Hux had...  

As soon as they landed, he stalked off the ship, retrieved a bag of training remotes from his quarters, and found an open stretch of grass far enough away from the landing field that any deflected bolts wouldn’t hit any x-wings.  And then he just let the Force take him again.  Sometimes, when he trained like this, it felt almost meditative.  He never acted, only reacted as the Force told him to.  Today though… today he was a weapon wielded against no one but his own anger and discontent.

He didn’t know how long he’d been out there before a voice jolted him from his almost trance-like state.  “I think you beat the remotes already.”

Ben halted abruptly, wincing as one of the remotes hit him in the rear with a low powered laser shot.  “How long have you been standing there?”

Larissa Celchu shrugged.  “Long enough.  You going to shut those things down?”

Rolling his eyes, he waved a hand at the remotes, hitting their deactivation switches.  “Did you need something?”

“Hi, I’ve missed you too,” she said. “We haven’t gotten to talk for a few weeks.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “We go months without seeing each other all the time.” She didn't flinch. Defeatedly, he sighed. “Hi Larissa. How are you?”

“I’m doing great thanks but I thought you might want to talk,” she said, shoving her hands into her flightsuit pockets.  “The mechanics mentioned there was some guy with anger issues and a lightsaber out here.  Figured it had to be you.”

“I’m fine,” he grumbled.  “Just needed to let off some steam.”

“Uh-huh.  I heard what happened,” Larissa said bluntly.  “All of it.”

Ben let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in a defeated sigh.  “Great.  So are you mad at me too?”

The blonde frowned.  “Why would I be mad?”

He waved vaguely at the sky.  “For not telling you who Kyla Ren was.”

“I’ve known for ages.  Well, suspected,” she amended quickly.  “I thought Rey had died with the rest when everything happened but when rumors of Kyla Ren popped up… It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together especially after I heard you stole that scout ship I delivered to the  _ Adamant _ to chase after her.”

“Oh.  I guess that makes sense.”

“Pilot helmets don’t actually squash all of our brains out,” she said, punching him jokingly in the arm before leading him a few meters away so they were sitting on a low hill with a good view of the base.  “So come on.  You want to talk, right?”

Ben shook his head, pulling at grass beside him.  “What’s the point?  It doesn’t fix anything.”

“It doesn’t need to fix anything if it makes you feel better.”

“How do you know it’ll make me feel better?”

“I’m a Celchu. We know things.”

He didn't respond for a moment, continuing to mutilate a patch of grass. “Hux and I aren't together anymore.”

“Because of Kyla?”

“No. Yes. Sort of.” 

“That cleared things up.”

Ben let out a loud sound of frustration.  “It’s complicated, okay?” 

“So was my brother’s love life but I listened to him all the time. Still do. Try me.”

“He’s mad that I didn't tell him who Kyla is,” Ben said slowly. “Even after I explained that it wasn't just my secret. And I’m mad at him because he’s acting like me not telling him this one thing means I don't trust him and I don't love him even though I do.” 

Larissa raised an eyebrow. “And you guys talked after you’d both calmed down a little, right?”

He felt his cheeks flush red. “No, I moved all my stuff out of our room right after.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “You’re an idiot, Ben Organa Solo.”

“I thought you were trying to make me feel better!”

“I am but you’re still an idiot.  What else did you say?” He stared at the grass. “Ben!”

“I might’ve said I didn't think he had a heart,” he mumbled.

“Yup, idiot.”

“I was mad!” 

Larissa rolled her eyes. “Have you talked to him since?”

Ben shook his head. “He doesn't want to.” 

“How do you know?”

He resorted to mumbling again. “Because I tried to talk to him on the shuttle the other day and he didn't want to.”

“Isn’t Hux a super private person or something?”

“Yeah.”

Larissa just stared at him again before shaking her head and sighing. “I love you like you’re my actual blood but if you can’t figure out what you did wrong there...”

“I know, okay?!” Ben shot back, frustration levels rising again. The remotes rose back into the air, before loudly crashing back down again, hard enough for at least one to break. Silence hung between them for a minute before he shifted uncomfortably, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he said bluntly. “It’s been happening a lot lately.”

It was quiet again for a few moments before Larissa spoke again, choosing her words very carefully. “You know you scare people when you get like that, right?”

“Oh. Great. So you all think I’m the next Vader then.”

“No,  _ I  _ know you’re just a big idiot who needs to break things sometimes.” The look Ben have her was still disbelieving and she sighed. “It’s just because you’re like the size of a tree. Why do you think wookiees make people think twice when they’re mad?” 

“Wait, am I wookiee or a tree?”

“Both.”

Ben rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the grass. “You’re a pain sometimes.”

“So are you,” she shot back before her expression turned more serious again.  “It’s not because they think you’re Vader.  It’s because they…”  She sighed.  “It’s the Jedi.  Most people in this galaxy have never even seen one before.  Your uncle might as well be a legend to them and there have been so few Jedi out there even before everything happened… people don’t know what to expect when they see you.  You have these powers that no one else does and that science can’t explain.”

“It’s because of the Force.”

“You might as well be explaining color to a miraluka.”

“What’s your point?”

Larissa frowned again. The expression looked odd on her usually mischievous face. “Look I’m not good at these things, okay? Dad’s got some magic ability to do this thing where he builds up to a point and then drives the lesson home with some really well phrased line and then you’re thinking about what he said for weeks whether you want to or not.”

Ben felt a frown slide on to his face that matched hers. “Just say whatever it is, Rissa.”

“Your Jedi powers don't scare me or leave me contemplating the meaning of the universe but you worry me when you’re like this because I don't think you think and you just want to do something you know you’re good at and I think you might get hurt that way one day,” she said quickly. He gaped at her and she shifted awkwardly, looking away. “You said to just say it.” Words still eluded him and she sighed. “Look, I promise that I just came over here because I thought you needed to talk about your break up, okay? You should still just talk to him, by the way,” 

“But he doesn’t  _ want to _ ,” Ben whined.

“Well do it anyways. In private.”

Apparently they were both happy to pretend the last few minutes hadn't happened. Ben was at least. “I don't know if I should.”

“I thought you said you loved him,” Larissa said, confused. 

“I do.”

“So what’s the problem?”

He hesitated. “What if he never loves me back?” 

“Does it matter?”

“I don't know.”

“Maybe figure that out before you talk to him,” she suggested dryly. “And apologize to him for saying he’s heartless.  Come on, let’s go find food. I’m starved.” 

Ben frowned suspiciously even as he took her offered hand up. “Wait. Why am I taking love advice from you? You’ve never been with someone for more than five months.”

“Not true! My x-wing and I have flown together for over a year now!”

“Why are so pilots so weird?”

“The relationship between a pilot and her starfighter is sacred!”

“I should’ve talked to Cal instead. He’s actually married.”

“You think he’s stupid enough to come out here when you’re swinging your lightsaber around?”

“Wait so you’re stupid then?”

Larissa groaned as she punched him in the arm and, for the first time since Ukio, Ben laughed. 

~

Han Solo was not signing up for another Rebellion. He’d done that once and hadn't even really wanted to then but there had been the promise of a lot of money and a pretty girl who infuriated him and he’d somehow ended up fighting for the cause anyways. That had been thirty years ago. Now he was married to that infuriating pretty girl, had a kid who seemed bigger every time he saw him, and was respectable. Mostly. He wasn't diving into another revolution just because his wife was starting one. It was something he had to remind himself of every time he came to visit Leia on D’Qar or wherever the base was. He wasn't signing up. Not yet at least. 

Leia was waiting for him. “Miss me that much, Princess?”

“You’re two weeks late,” she chided him, smile taking any bite out of her words. 

He spread his hands and shrugged. “Hey, I told you that was just an estimate. And besides, I got a lead on some cheap medical supplies. Figured you could use them. They’re in the cargo bay with the rest of the stuff you asked about.”

And then he didn't have a chance to say anything because she kissed him and he had trouble remembering why he stayed away when he loved her so damn much.  “I have missed you.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart,” Han said empathically. “But I'm all yours for the next two weeks.”

“Good,” Leia said. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on and I wouldn’t mind your opinion on a few things.”

Han frowned, taking in the worry beneath her smile.  “Everything okay?”

She nodded.  “It’s been a long couple of weeks.  There’s a lot I need to catch you up on… things I couldn’t say over the holocam.  The--”

“I thought those were the _ Falcon’s _ engines I heard!”

A broad grin reappeared on his face even as he reluctantly let go of his wife to greet their only son. “Hey kid.”

Ben’s grin matched his as he got closer. “No one said you were coming.” 

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Han said, embracing his son. 

“A late surprise,” Leia muttered. Before he could protest again, she shook her head. “Kalonia will be glad for the restock. We’ve had trouble lately.”

Han frowned. “What kind of trouble?”

“The bad kind,” Ben said, expression darkening. 

“Is there any other?” Leia interjected diplomatically. 

“Well you can tell me all about it, or not!” Han hastened to add, “on the  _ Falcon _ tonight. I’m making dinner.” Usually the mere mention of his cooking was enough to make his son smile but this time…nothing. He nudged him in ribs. “Hey you can even bring your boyfriend if you want.”

“He’s busy,” Ben said hurriedly, glancing down at his comlink. “Hey sorry but I gotta run. I was supposed to be at a briefing ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah sure,” Han said, keeping the easy smile on his face. “We’ll let you know what time.” 

“Great thanks,” Ben said before almost running away. 

Han frowned at their son’s retreating back. “What’s wrong with him?”

Leia sighed. “He and Hux broke up.”

“The uptight Imp guy he brought with him on that run?”

She smacked him lightly on the chest. “Hux isn't Imperial, nerf herder. He’s just… very reserved.”

“Diplomatic as always, sweetheart.” 

“One of us has to be.”

Han laughed. “So what happened? I thought you said you liked him?”

“I did,” Leia confirmed. “I still do. Hux is just...hurt.”

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “He talked to you?”

“No, Korr’s dating Hux’s aide.”

“Huh.”

“What?” Leia asked defensively. “We both know that Ben wasn't going to talk to either one of us and I could tell something was wrong.”

“So what happened?”

Leia shook her head. “Not here.” They filled the time it took to walk back to her quarters with small talk. Somehow, even though it was a different rebellion and decades since the previous, the bases still managed to all look the same. They’d probably look the same for whatever resistance movement popped up a hundred years down the line. “He found out about Rey,” she said bluntly without any preamble. 

“Oh.” Han scratched his head. “So he didn't care about the Vader connection but this cousin one is what upsets him?”

“Kalin seems to think it has more to do with Hux feeling like Ben didn’t trust him.”

“Who’s Kalin?”

“Hux’s aide. She’s a nice young lady. Very smart.” 

Han laughed. “And you haven't stolen her for your own staff yet?”

“What?”

“You have this way of collecting people,” Han said with that lopsided smirk. “Or maybe they find you.”

Leia protested, “I do not!”

“Greer, Korrie, Evaan, Shara, her boy Poe….” Han ticked the names off on his fingers. “I can keep going, sweetheart.” 

“Please don’t,” she said, expression somewhat pained. “Besides, I don't think Kalin would ever even consider an offer to leave Hux. They work together far too well. It reminds me of my father and Sabé.” She stared into the distance for a moment, thinking about the family she’d lost on that terrible day. 

“Leia?” Han prompted her. 

“Oh sorry, I was just…”

“Your parents, I know,” he finished for her. “But about Ben…” 

“They’ll have to work things out for themselves,” Leia said with a little shake of her head. “Hux would be mortified if I spoke to him about anything related to this and Ben’s waved me off both times I tried. Although,” she dropped to sit on her bunk.  “Don’t let me stop you if you want to try and talk to Ben.”

“And what?  Give him some fatherly advice?” Han asked half-jokingly as he sat beside her.  

“Impart some wisdom,” Leia said, tone matching his before pulling him in for another kiss and the last thing that either of them were thinking about for a while was their son and his romance troubles.

The funny thing was though, Han thought, maybe he could.

~

It was unclear to Hux whether continuing to work while he was eating was a step up or a step down from forgetting to eat because he got so distracted but either way, he’d managed to make it to the mess hall for once.  He sat by himself, the remains of his dinner pushed to one side as he studied a file on his datapad.

“Hey.”

Hux’s head snapped upwards at the sound of a somewhat familiar voice and he almost fell out of his seat a second later.  “Captain Solo.”

“Just call me Han,” the old smuggler said before holding up a bottle of whiskey.  “You drink?”  Hux barely had time to nod yes before he plopped into the seat opposite him.  “Good.”

Still befuddled, Hux accepted the offered glass.  Apparently Ben’s taste in alcohol hadn’t been inherited.  He suspected from the smell alone that the whiskey was far from cheap.  A sip confirmed those suspicions.  “I wasn’t aware there was any Whyren’s on D’Qar.”

“There isn’t,” Han said.  “Not unless some other Corellian around here has a stash.  Statura keeps bringing in some cheap watered down Kuati crap they claim is whiskey.”

“I’ve had it,” Hux admitted with a wince.  “I didn’t care to repeat the experience.”

Han smirked into his glass.  “Enjoy this while you can then.”

Nothing about this made sense to Hux.  The smuggler had seemed to just tolerate him the first and only time they’d ever met.  Perhaps he still thought that… “If you’re looking for Ben, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place.  You’d have better luck trying the opposite end of this base.”

“Nope.  I’m here to talk to you, kid.”  The look on Han’s face said that he was almost as surprised by this turn of events as Hux was.  He nodded towards the glass in his hand.  “Drink up.  I don’t think either of us want to have this conversation while entirely sober.”

Without thinking, Hux knocked back the rest of his glass.  If nothing else, he could follow orders.  Han did the same and poured them both another.  “And what conversation is this?”

Han didn't say anything for a moment, slowly spinning the glass on the table. “I’m the only other person in the galaxy who knows what it’s like to be with an Organa.”

Hux felt his ears turn red and not from the alcohol. “Captain Solo-”

“Han.”

“Han. You are aware that your son and I aren't together anymore, no?”

“Yup.”

“So this is…”

“A little bit of wisdom sharing from an old man who’s been in your shoes. Well,” he glanced down. “Sort of. Military life didn't take.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Hux murmured. 

“I didn't like that they enslaved the wookiees,” Han said, ignoring the sarcasm. “But that’s ancient history. You know about Rey.” 

Surprised by the conversation’s abrupt shift, he nodded. “Despite plenty of efforts otherwise, yes.”

“It wasn't anything personal,” Han said bluntly. “It wasn’t personal when only four people in the galaxy knew who Vader really was either. That was a decision that Leia and Luke made together. It wasn't anyone else’s business but theirs. As far as she was concerned, her real father died on Alderaan.” 

“But everyone still found out,” Hux pointed out, grip tightening on his whiskey. “That Senator from Riosa…”

“Casterfo, yeah. Wasn't really his fault though. The Arkanis Senator manipulated him into it or at least that’s what Leia tells me.”

Both eyebrows shot up. “Sindian...no wonder Ben wanted to kill her last year.” 

“You know her?”

“I’m from Arkanis,” Hux reminded him. 

“Right.”

“What happened with the Jedi?” Hux asked curiously, unable to help himself. “The holos were never very clear…”

Han didn’t reply for a minute, taking another long drink and refilling both their glasses. “Ben’s the only one who was there and he won't talk about it. There was an apprentice… Luke’s daughter Rey… Leia thinks Snoke was manipulating her with the dark side from when she was a kid and then when she found out about Vader…” he drank again and Hux did the same. “The holos got some of it right.”

Hux frowned. “So you decided not to tell anyone when Kyla Ren appeared.” 

He shook his head. “Not me: Leia and Ben made that decision. Luke left a few weeks after everything happened. They thought it was better for everyone to just keep thinking Rey was dead too.”

Eyes narrowing, Hux said, “So when Ben said it wasn’t his secret…”

“Don’t be so hard on him,” Han said. “And I’m not just saying that because he’s my kid. Everything that happened with Rey killed Ben. Leia too. Look, it’s not easy being them.  Leia struggled with being Vader’s daughter for years and that was without everyone looking at her and knowing. It’s why we kept it from Ben. Rey too.  She never wanted them to have to live with something like that. Don’t think anyone should have to live with a burden like that.  Maybe we should've told them when we could but it’s too late to change that now.” 

“But you still knew,” Hux pressed.  Han nodded.  “And Ben chose not to tell me.” Even before the words were out of his mouth, he could hear how petulant they sounded and winced.

The smuggler laughed.  “Yeah, and I’ve been married to Leia for almost thirty years. Rules are different.”

Hux raised a hand to his temples, feeling the onset of a headache that had nothing to do with the alcohol. “With all due respect, why are we discussing this? It seems rather… pointless given the current state of affairs.”

“Because you actually made my kid happy and it’d be stupid for you two to stay like this just because there’s no handbook for loving an Organa.”

For the first time, Hux didn’t offer a verbal protest regarding whether or not he loved someone and just drank.  “I was under the impression that you didn’t particularly approve of me.”

Han shrugged.  “Leia likes you and she’s usually a pretty good judge of character.”  Pushing back his chair, he rose to his feet, grabbing the bottle from the table.  “Just think about it, Hux.”

Despite his best efforts otherwise, Hux still was days later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take great solace in knowing that far better writers than I struggle with writing Han Solo.


	12. Chapter 12

At least Operation Apate kept moving forward at a decidedly brisk pace.  They were so close to the endgame that Hux could almost taste it and the Resistance leadership seemed to agree with that assessment.  Kalin had long since managed to talk her way out of the medbay and, truth be told, Hux was grateful more than ever to have her at his side as they organized all of the ships and troops that had to be convincingly yet subtly sent to Tieos.  Some Resistance troops had been stationed on the mostly uninhabited planet for months now just in case the First Order figured out their trap too soon but based upon the collected whispers that Cracken’s people brought back, it was time to send a full contingent there.  Some of the logistics were easier than others.  A long-abandoned Imperial base was more than adequate for the Resistance’s needs but figuring out exactly how many people and ships to send and setting up scout patrols… that was far trickier.  

Despite all of the distractions, Hux still couldn’t put Ben from his mind or rather, he couldn’t put the conversation he’d had with Han Solo over a week ago out of his thoughts.  Now more than ever, he found himself torn between his still simmering anger with Ben and missing his often loud but somehow comforting presence.  The smuggler’s words had been… interesting to say the least.  He supposed that Han did have a point; he was the only other one who knew what it was like to be in an Organa’s orbit quite like this.  Regardless, Hux couldn’t decide which bothered him more: feeling so distracted or feeling as if his anger was fading more and more.  

“Is that everything?” Hux asked tiredly one evening.

“It’s never everything,” Kalin replied dryly, looking as exhausted as he felt.  “But I think we’ve done as much as we can for today.”

“Go get some sleep then.”

She nodded and immediately stepped towards the door before frowning when he didn’t follow.  “Hux, are you not…?”

He shook his head.  “I want to send a few of these reports off to Cracken.  He tends to be an early riser and I’d like to have these waiting for him.  I’ll only be a few more minutes.”

It was a testament to how much Operation Apate had run them both ragged that Kalin didn’t even protest and merely nodded and left.  True to his word, Hux stumbled out of the room a few minutes later, stifling a yawn.  Any thoughts of sleep fled from him as soon as he ran smack into a familiar, broad chest.

Ben recovered first.  “I… Hux. Hi.”

“Ben,” he replied, reaching for his wrist behind his back and for the comfort the stance gave him.  “I’m surprised to see you here at this hour.”

He shrugged.  “Didn’t feel like sleeping.”

“I see,” Hux replied. This was uncomfortably unfamiliar territory.  They knew how to be antagonistic or how to be partners but this awkwardness between them was precisely that: awkward.  Instead they stared at each other, both looking like there was something they wanted to say but neither was quite able to get the words out.  Hux finally broke the nigh unbearable silence with the first thing that came into his mind.  “I noticed your father was here the other week.”

“Yeah, it was nice to see him.  Mom was happy,” Ben replied, a flicker of relief in his eyes.  “Listen Hux, I--” he broke off again abruptly.

Hux arched an eyebrow.  “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Ben muttered, staring at the ground.

“In which case, I’d prefer to end whatever this is as I would like to get some actual sleep tonight,” Hux said, almost regretting how sharp his tone was as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

“Oh.  Right. Sorry.”  It didn’t sound like he was just apologizing for being in the way.

As the Jedi stepped to one side to let him pass by, the thought flitted through Hux’s mind to invite him to join him but he quashed it immediately.  Sharing a bed like that… sharing a bed at all… it wasn’t how they were anymore.  Besides, he really did need to sleep.

“Hux.” At the sound of his name, Hux paused and looked over his shoulder.  “I really do think--I  _ know _ you have a heart,” Ben said, the words tumbling from his lips.  Before Hux could so much as blink, he turned and ran off, disappearing around a corner.

Left behind, all Hux could do was gape before shaking his head to clear it.  That was as close as either of them had yet to come to admitting that they’d been wrong since everything had happened.  Perhaps… No.  It simply couldn’t have been.  Unless…

The only solution, Hux determined, was to sleep on it because he most certainly was not coherent enough for any of this.

~

“I hope this will be one of our shorter meetings as I’m sure we all have plenty to do,” Leia said with a half-smile, glancing around the table.  No one seemed inclined to say anything to the contrary.  “Colonel Hux, where are we with moving troops for our trap on Tieos?”

“85% of the troops are already in the system, General,” Hux replied, not needing to refer to the numbers on his datapad.  “As you are aware, I leave tomorrow to take the remaining 15%.  We just need to know who will be commanding the fleet once we’re there.  That decision was still pending as of two days ago.”

“That will be me, Colonel,” Tycho said, looking him straight in the eye and clearly waiting to see his reaction.

Hux had none.  This was entirely expected.  Maybe the Hux from a year ago would have taken this as a personal slight but not the person he was now.  Quite frankly, he was glad it was Tycho and not someone like Ackbar.  “Very good, sir.  I’ll be sure to have Lieutenant Commander Werth include you on all future relevant reports once we’re there.”

“I don’t think you’ll be waiting around Tieos very long,” Cracken said.  “My people have been picking up whispers and dropping enough hints of their own.  Frankly, I’m worried that we’re cutting this too close.”

“You’ve been worried since the Clone Wars, Airen,” Leia said with a shake of her head.  “And yes, I know, someone has to be.”

“It’d just be a shame if--”

“I agree,” she cut him off.  “But we’re too far past that point now.”

Tycho cleared his throat.  “Are you sure you can’t spare Poe’s Black Squadron, Leia?”

Cracken frowned.  “I thought Antilles’ Rogues were already there.”

“They are,” Tycho acknowledged, “but having Poe and his people there wouldn’t hurt our odds.”

She shook her head again.  “I need Poe to stick to his current mission for me. It’s more vital with each passing day.”

Hux suppressed a frown.  This was the first he’d heard of Dameron being on any sort of mission for Leia and from the sound of it, it had been ongoing for some time.  Apparently the Resistance was better at keeping things compartmentalized than he’d previously realized.

“And we’re still confident that the Knights of Ren won’t be a part of the attack?” General Areta Bell asked.

Liselle cleared her throat and leaned forward.  “Very.  We’ve dropped enough hints that Jedi Solo is with his mother back in the more civilized part of the galaxy.  Kyla Ren’s previous behavior strongly suggests that she won’t take part in an attack like this when she knows he won’t be there.”

Bell raised an eyebrow.  “So is he going to Tieos then?”

“No, he’ll remain here,” Hux said smoothly before dropping his gaze back to his datapad again.  He could feel Leia’s eyes on him.  She hadn’t said anything directly to him about what had happened between him and Ben but he knew that she knew.  It was the twinge of sadness and disappointment in her eyes that gave it away.  He didn’t like seeing it.  It didn’t help that he could still feel it now.  “General, if we succeed at Tieos, do you think the Senate will be willing to see reason?”

Leia shook her head.  “I believe we’re far past that now.  Those who want to believe have already supported our cause.  The rest are either in the pockets of the First Order or are so committed to the idea of peace that they’ll remain blind no matter what we show them.”

“Every Senate’s the same,” Cracken said with a humorless laugh.  “Don’t know why you keep going back, Leia.”

“Neither do I,” she said dryly.  “If there’s nothing else, I won’t keep you all here any longer.  I’m sure there’s plenty left to do before some of you depart tomorrow.  Good luck and may the Force be with you.”

Liselle immediately fell into step with him as they left the room.  “Are we still sure we don’t want Ben on Tieos with the rest of the team?”

“You just told leadership that you don’t think the Knights of Ren will be there,” Hux replied tightly.  “Was that incorrect?”

“No but that doesn’t mean we can’t use him there,” she countered.

Hux’s eyes narrowed.  “Are you insinuating…”

“Yes.  Now is that why he’s not going?”

“If we don’t need him there, I see no reason to force the issue.  Kalin offered him the opportunity to fight with us and he declined. I fail to see the problem.”

Liselle shrugged.  “Whatever you say, Hux.  Here,” she grabbed his datapad and ejected the datacard before handing the device back to him.  “I’ll handle these last few things.  You and Kalin should go pack and deal with whatever else you need to handle here.”

“I’m sure her matters will be far more entertaining than mine,” Hux said with a straight face.  

“I can only imagine,” Liselle said, expression matching his before flipping the datacard between her fingers.  “I’ll let you know when all of this is done.”

As Hux made his way back to his quarters, he couldn’t put Ben out of his mind nor everything else related to him.  It felt wrong, after so many months, that he hadn’t been present for their final briefing.  It felt wrong that Ben wasn’t going to be present for this battle regardless of what he’d told Liselle.  Everything had felt wrong since Ben had left.  

He knew it wasn’t entirely correct to say that Ben had left.  Ben’d been the one to move his things but Hux hadn’t stopped him and, if he was honest with himself, a part of Hux had wanted to do the same.  They’d both been so furious that day.  Hux didn’t know the last time he’d felt so deeply hurt.  And then Han Solo (of all people!) had to come in with his ever so useful point of view and explain things in a way that made Hux understand something that he suspected few did.  His anger was still there but that understanding had lessened it greatly to the point where he could finally admit to himself that he truly missed Ben.  That he missed being with him.

Neither of them had ever excelled at communication in the past and neither were either of them good at apologizing.  Perhaps Ben had been able to put his feelings into words a bit faster but they’d always been far more physical with each other than verbal.  Hux wasn’t entirely sure how normal couples acted towards each other but he was certain they’d been anything but normal.  But maybe… maybe Ben’s comment about his heart the other day had been his form of a peace offering.  

In that case, it would only be polite to respond.  

Pushing his anxiety aside, Hux sat down at his desk with his datapad before him.  Admitting any sort of fault had never come easily to him but something deep inside told him that he had to try.

And then, for the second time that year, he stopped thinking and just wrote like he was running out of time.

_ Ben, _

_ I should do this in person but honestly, I don’t trust my pride or quite frankly my temper (which is ironic given our usual state of affairs) so therefore we are both forced to settle for the written word. _

_ I still hate that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me about Kyla Ren. However, now I understand why you didn’t tell me even though I am still working to forgive.  What I hate more is being without you.  It took a separation like this for me to realize that I am better with you at my side, even despite the lies.  I am vain enough to say that I believe you are better with me too, as any partnership should be.  Nothing can take back the words that we said to each other after Ukio but perhaps there is still a chance, with some work, that we can move past them.  Together. _

_ This is all to say that I miss you and I ask that you consider this letter an apology and a response to what I believe was your overture to perhaps consider matters between us again when I return from Tieos. _

_ Hux _

Sitting up straight once more, he reread his words, changing a word here and there before letting out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.  For a moment, his finger drifted to hover over the delete button before he hastened to hit send before he could change his mind.

And now, yet again, there was nothing he could do but wait.

~

When he woke the next morning, Hux was mildly disappointed to see that no response was waiting for him but he hardly had the time to worry about that.  True to her word, Liselle had finished up with all of the reports she’d taken from him yesterday with plenty of time to spare but there was still more than enough to do before the last ships left D’Qar for Tieos.  After dropping his bag on the shuttle bound for their trap, he’d spent the rest of the morning running around the base with Kalin and Liselle, making sure nothing had slipped through the cracks.

“Are you sure you’d prefer to remain here on D’Qar?” Hux asked Liselle for what must have been the third time that day alone as he and Kalin finally prepared to leave.  “I could use your expertise on the ground.”

She shook her head.  “Someone has to keep an eye on the project from here and I’ve always seen better from afar.”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Not in the mood for fieldwork?”

“This isn’t fieldwork, Hux. It’s waiting for a fight and that’s boring.”

He shook his head with amusement.  “You remain an enigma at times, Afyon.”

“Good,” Liselle said with a smirk.  “I’d hate to be too predictable.  That’s how you end up dead.”

“And we found the spy in the room,” Kalin muttered under her breath before smiling and nudging the taller woman in the ribs.  “Enjoy the break while we’re gone, okay?”

“As long as you both avoid getting killed and leaving me with all the reports,” Liselle said, tone still joking but with an oddly serious look in her grey eyes.  She extended a hand towards first Hux and then Kalin.  “I’ll see you both on the other side of all this.  Good luck.”

She left them both at a brisk pace, seemingly unconcerned by all the chaos around her.  Hux watched her go for a moment before turning to look down at Kalin.  “Anything we’ve forgotten?”

She shook her head as they resumed their walk across the landing field.  “We’ve been so thorough that I’ve already double checked everything ahead of schedule.  General Celchu’s already aboard and--”

“Hux.”

Both he and Kalin stopped dead in their tracks at the familiar voice and turned as one.  Kalin glanced between the two men for a moment before plucking Hux’s datapad from his hands.  “I’ll be on the bridge,” she said quietly before leaving them alone.

Uneasy, Hux folded his arms across his chest and waited for Ben to speak first.  

“I uhhh… I got your message,” Ben said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.  “And I…”

Silence hung between them for a long handful of moments before Hux glanced over his shoulder at the shuttle, regretful that his next words were an excuse instead of the truth.  “I have no time for staring matches, Ben.  My ship leaves within the next ten minutes.”

“That’s the thing,” Ben said with intensity in his dark eyes, dropping his hand.  For the first time, Hux noticed that he had a bag slung over his shoulder.  “I was thinking that maybe I could come with you.  If that’s okay.”

An emotion that he wasn’t quite willing to name made its way to the surface and he swallowed hard, not sure what to do with this strange mix of happiness and relief at everything that went unsaid between those three short sentences.  “I…” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat to start again.  “I’d like that.  Very much.”

The smile that blossomed on Ben’s face just might have been the best thing Hux had seen in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that every single one of you fellow Hamilton fans had "I'll see you on the other side of the war" singing in your head at Liselle's line. 
> 
> Another shorter chapter but hopefully the content will make up for it and less of you will want to throw things at me now. :P 
> 
> Just two chapters left!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the second to last chapter. I'm sure you all know that a lot of stuff's about to go down. Y'all can come yell or flail at me on tumblr (chaosbria). Or both. :P

Any other time, Hux would have been annoyed by how Ben seemed intent on continuously distracting him from his work and also by how much he hated waiting for something to happen.  Most other times though, Hux wasn’t rebuilding a fractured relationship.  There hadn’t been much talking that first night once they arrived on Tieos.  Neither of them had wanted to ruin it by potentially arguing again and neither of them had been particularly interested in talking. As soon as the door to Hux’s quarters shut behind them, Ben had pushed him up against it and kissed him like their lives depended on it. Their clothes hadn't lasted long and by the time Hux had Ben pressed against the sheets, straddling his hips as he kissed him hard, he finally felt like he could breath again.

They’d slept almost as little as they talked that night.

Kalin had smirked knowingly as she pressed hot cups of caf into both of their hands the next morning. “Careful, Hux,” she whispered. “I think you’re almost smiling.”

Thankfully, Tycho pretended to notice nothing.

Things were well on their way to proceeding in the exact same manner the next night when Ben pulled away from a kiss when they were already mostly naked on the bed. “Hux, we should talk.”

With a groan, Hux dropped his head back to hit the sheets, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Perhaps propose having a little chat _before_ you start kissing me like that next time?”

Ben had the good grace to blush. “Sorry.”  He moved from on top of him and put a little bit of space between them on the narrow bunk, not that it did much good since Hux still had a perfect view of his muscular chest and had to push away thoughts of kissing his way down it. Ben’s next words did a good job of helping with that. “I am sorry, you know.”

“Sorry for what?” Hux asked despite himself.

“For everything I said,” Ben said earnestly. “I didn't mean any of it.”

“Yes you did,” Hux corrected him swiftly. “Just like I meant a lot of what I said at the time.”  Ben flinched and Hux could help but shake his head a little. “You’re the one who wanted to talk, Ben.”

He leaned back and smacked his head into the wall with a loud _thunk._ “I have bad ideas sometimes.”

“You do, yes,” Hux said without any sharpness in his tone. “I’ve heard more than my share.  This wasn’t one of them.” He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of the other man’s eyes, buying himself a moment to collect his own thoughts. “I meant it when I said I thought you didn't trust me but I understand why you kept your secret now.”

“What changed your mind?” he asked curiously.

“Do you really want to know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Your father got me borderline drunk and put things in perspective.” 

“He _what_?!”  Hux didn't say anything, waiting for the surprise to cycle through Ben’s mind.  Ben gaped at him soundlessly for a minute. “What the kriff did he say?”

“I think that’s best left a mystery,” Hux hastened to say, “but a lot of what he did say made a fair amount of of sense.”

Still bemused, Ben shook his head before his expression turned serious again. “I didn’t see that coming.” 

“I don’t think he did either,” Hux said dryly.  “But Ben… I need to know something.” 

“Anything.” 

“Are there any other secrets like Kyla Ren that you’re keeping from me?” 

“None,” Ben answered immediately.  When Hux didn’t respond as quickly, he hastened to add, “Hux, there’s nothing else.  I swear.” 

Hux stared into his eyes for a long moment before nodding and softly saying, “I believe you.” 

The words started falling out of his mouth before he could stop them again.  “And I really am sorry for what I said about you being heartless. I don’t think that even if you don--” Ben broke off abruptly and looked away. 

It wasn’t difficult to guess where that sentence had been going.  Hesitantly, Hux reached out towards him, guiding his gaze back to him. “I still don’t know, Ben.” 

“Know what?” Ben asked even though he clearly knew the answer. 

“I don’t know if I love you too.” 

For what felt like an eternity, Ben didn't respond, fingers twisting the blankets beneath him. “It’s okay,” he finally said. 

Both of Hux’s eyebrows shot up. “Honestly?”

“Honestly,” Ben confirmed, looking up at him again. “Not knowing doesn't make me feel great but I don't want you to say it just because I want you to. I want you say it because you mean it.”

“And what if I never do?” Hux asked, mouth dry.

Ben bit his lip, gaze flitting away for the briefest of moments. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

Suddenly, Hux didn't feel much like talking anymore and judging by the way he kissed him back, neither did Ben. Things between them were far from fixed but it was certainly a start.

Other than slowly repairing their broken relationship, Tieos was rather mundane. Much of Hux’s time during the day was spent going back and forth between the ground base and the fleet for meetings as they waited for the First Order to attack. Understandably, Tycho preferred to conduct all daily briefings and any other discussion aboard his flagship instead of down on the planet. The last thing anyone wanted was for the Resistance fleet to be caught without its commander where he shouldn't be during an attack. At least the meetings were usually entertaining given the commentary from Syal Antilles and Larissa Celchu; Rogue Squadron’s commander and executive officer.

Despite not being on the base in any official capacity, Ben kept himself busy. Kalin had quietly added a line into one of Hux’s reports mentioning that the Jedi had been assisting with the fortification of the base wherever possible. Apparently the Force was helpful for building barricades.

Hux was engrossed in supply numbers one day, a task that he found to just barely be interesting but required enough of his brain to keep him from being distracted.  His comlink went off, the beeping a rapid staccato that was always the harbinger of bad news.  “What’s the situation?” he asked without any preamble. 

“ _A scout ship spotted a First Order fleet in one of the adjoining systems,_ ” Kalin said, tone even despite the urgency of her message.  “ _They’ll be here soon._ ”

“Sound the alarm on base and get me a direct link to Tycho’s flagship set up in the control room,” Hux ordered.  “I’ll be there in two minutes.”

Seconds later, the klaxon sounded and Hux was far from the only one running through the base as everyone hastened to get to their battle stations.  He couldn’t help but be pleased when Ben slid into the control room mere steps behind him.  Kalin, predictably, was already at her post.  She nodded towards the center table which doubled as a communications center.  “I have General Celchu for you, Colonel.”

“Hux,” the hologram greeted him.  “Congratulations on Operation Apate’s success.”

“Thank you sir,” Hux replied steadily.  “Although I don’t consider the job done quite yet.”

Tycho nodded.  “The burden of bringing this to a close falls on me and I certainly don’t intend to lose.”

“What do you need from the ground?” Hux asked even though he already knew the answer.

“Keep an eye on the skies and handle whoever makes it past us,” Tycho said simply, repeating orders they’d already agreed upon two weeks ago.  “We’ll keep this line open.”

“And we’ll do the same.  Good luck, General.”

Tycho acknowledged it with a quick nod before his hologram vanished.

“I want the tactical display on the main board display,” Hux ordered shortly.  Kalin’s hands flew across the controls to comply almost before the words were out of his mouth.  “And I want confirmation as soon as all of our ground troops are ready to move out against whatever First Order forces make it to the ground.”

“I’ll go with them,” Ben volunteered from where he was hanging back by the walls.

Hux shook his head.  “I want you to lead them.”

Ben’s lips parted and he hesitated for the briefest of seconds before nodding.  “Whatever you need, Hux.”

He acknowledged the Jedi’s words with a curt nod before turning back to the tactical display just in time to see the First Order’s fleet emerge from hyperspace.

A part of Hux had expected to feel irritated about being denied the chance to command the Resistance fleet over Tieos after having devoted most of his waking hours over the last year to building the trap.  Instead, as he watched the battle unfold on the monitors before him, he felt nothing of the sort.  During all the years he’d served under Tycho, he’d never had anything but the utmost respect for the former pilot but watching him command the Resistance Fleet in the skies above was incredible.  Every time Hux almost though he knew what Tycho’s intentions were, the Alderaanian moved in an unexpected direction.  It was clearly throwing whoever was commanding the First Order’s forces too.

That didn’t mean Tycho was infallible.  Three shuttles had made it past the Resistance lines and landed less than a kilometer from the base.  “Ben, if you would…” Hux began.

“On it,” Ben cut him off, stepping forward and letting the wrist compad built into his bracer synch with the ground defense system maps.  “Give us as much of a heads up as you can if anyone else lands?”

“As much as we can manage,” Kalin promised him.

Ben flashed her a grateful smile before turning back to Hux.  “Kiss for luck?” he asked cheekily before leaning in and kissing him swiftly anyways.  The next moment, he was gone.

Hux sighed and looked up at the ceiling exasperatedly.  “I hate that man.”

Kalin smirked.  “No you don’t.”

“No I don’t,” Hux agreed readily enough because really, she wasn’t wrong.  “Keep an eye on his tracer data.”

Clearly, the First Order had thought to catch them unprepared and couldn’t seem to recover from that erroneous assumption.  It was with delight that Hux watch the Resistance take down their flag ship.  Barely minutes later, a good number of evacuation shuttle swarmed out of her belly in hopes of survival.  The Rogue pilots were on them immediately, ultimately forcing some of the ships planetside. 

“Track those landings and send the coordinates to Ben,” Hux ordered.  “I want any ranking officers captured if possible.  Consider it a priority.”

As Kalin made the call, Hux’s grip tightened on the edge of the console, knuckles turning white.  They were so close… they were so damn close… 

~ 

Ben didn’t want to think.  He just wanted to fight but it didn’t matter what he wanted right now.  He had to keep at least some of himself held back from the Force so he could plan and strategize.  Because he had to lead the ground troops.

There wasn’t much point in pretending that he had the same kind of leadership skills that his mother had or even his uncle.  They both could, whether by natural talent or through practice, lead troops with ease.  Ben couldn’t.  He didn’t like it.  He preferred being a part of something instead of leading it but Hux had asked him and he couldn’t say no.

It wasn’t that bad.  The troopers were already split up up into their own teams and all Ben had to do was keep an eye on the map on his wrist and tell them where to go.  They’d report in every now and then and Ben would tell them somewhere else to go.  Reluctantly, he kept his own team close to the base.  It wasn’t that he wanted to avoid a fight but he didn’t want to leave Hux without a line of defense.  Hux would roll his eyes if he knew.  Ben didn’t care.

They’d done well so far.  Ben had found himself using a borrowed blaster rifle way more than his lightsaber against the stormtroopers especially once they found a good vantage point.  There had been some casualties on the Resistance’s side but way more First Order soldiers were dead.

His comlink buzzed insistently and Ben was suddenly very glad he’d thought to use the one that sat in his ear that day so he didn’t have to let go of his blaster when he answered. “Yeah?”

 _“I’m sending you new ship data points,”_ Kalin said without any preamble.   _“Make these a priority.”_

“Why?”

_“General Celchu took out the First Order’s flagship.  These are some of their evacuation ships that the Rogues have chased down.  Hux wants you to go after them and capture any high ranking officers you encounter.”_

Ben frowned.  “Who does he expect to find?” 

_“I didn’t ask.”_

He rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  What counts as ranking?” 

 _“Captain or higher.”_  

“Do you know how annoying it is to check First Order ranks?” Ben complained.  “It’s not like they put them on their chests.” 

Kalin’s eyeroll was almost audible.   _“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.  The incoming ships will be highlighted blue.  Werth out.”_

Ben sighed as he clicked his own comlink off.  Ground battles were never simple when Hux was in charge.  Ben wasn’t even supposed to be here.  Turning to the troops with him, he directed, “You two stay here and hold this position.  You four come with me.” 

A study of the tracking data Kalin sent showed that while most of the new ships were headed towards previously landed ones, one seemed intent on making it to the base.  With a few quick commands, he directed some of the other commando teams to handle the other incoming ships before setting off at a dead run back towards the base.  “Kalin, are you seeing this ship?” 

 _“We see it.”_  

If he hadn’t been running, Ben would’ve jumped in surprise when it was Hux who replied.  “I’m headed back to go deal with whoever’s on it.” 

 _“I need you to deal with_ all _of the ships, not just the one,”_ Hux countered.

“People are dealing with them,” Ben argued right back, sliding to a stop in from of the base door.  It didn’t open.  Annoyed, he glared up at the holocamera.  “Open the kriffing door, Hux.  I’ve got one of those Force feelings about this.”

_“Convenient.”_

“Hux!”

There was a pause and then the door slid open.   _“I’ll be displeased if you get yourself killed.”_

The line clicked dead before Ben could respond.  “Yeah, me too,” he muttered under his breath.  He turned towards the four men and women still with him.  “Any of you know a fast way up to the landing pad?”

One of the women (he thought her name was Jes or something like that) was already checking maps on a nearby terminal.  “Standard Imperial protocol says there should be a turbolift reserved for command staff somewhere near here.”

“How do you know?”

Jes shrugged.  “I grew up in one of these.  They all look basically the same.  The Empire was never much for creativity.  Here!”  She tapped a part of the blueprints to highlight it.  “That should take us close.”

Ben nodded.  “Okay good.  Lead the way.”

All four soldiers held their rifles at the ready as Jes guided them to the turbolift and even Ben found himself unclipping his lightsaber from his belt as it took them towards the top.  He hadn’t been lying to Hux when he’d said that Force was giving him one of those warning feelings about this ship and it was only growing stronger the closer they got to this one insistent ship.  He didn’t think it was Kyla Ren.  It didn’t feel like her.  This all just felt… bad.  It’d be nice if the Force was more specific sometimes. 

Even without using the Force, it wasn’t hard to find the First Order.  Stormtroopers weren’t quiet and there were a lot of them.  Ben’s team got the drop but soon he didn’t have time to be pleased or to think; just to fight and deflect blaster bolts.  They were definitely protecting something and the more Ben fought, the more he thought it was like they were actually protecting someone.  Whoever that someone was seemed intent on making their way further into the center of the base… towards where Hux and Kalin were.   

When they came to a junction, Ben didn’t even have to think twice.  “Follow the main group,” he ordered the soldiers.  “I’ll take the others.” 

One of the men (Del or something like that) frowned.  “At least one of us should--”

Ben cut him off.  “Jedi, remember?  I’ll comm if I need back up.”

They exchanged looks before the same man shook his head.  “I’ll go with you.  None of us want to answer to the General if things go wrong.”

He didn’t need to ask which general.  Instead, Ben shrugged.  “Yeah okay.  Just keep up.”

They moved a lot faster now.  It seemed like whoever was in charge wasn’t as worried about slowing them down as they were about getting to their destination.  It seemed stupid if you asked Ben.  What did the First Order person think he could do from here?  Tycho was up in space.  Unless… the realization hit him like a punch to the face.  This had always been a trap.  From the start, Hux had been trying to trick them into thinking the Resistance base really was on Tieos.  They fallen for it which meant that whoever was on that ship thought most of the Resistance leaders were… He broke into a run.

A harried looking lieutenant was already working on hacking the door to the command center when Ben and Del arrived.  Over half a dozen stormtroopers were there too but only keeping an eye on some of the corridors.  (Or at least that’s what it looked like.  It was impossible to tell with the helmets.)  A stout, older man in a black officer’s uniform was with them.  Ben couldn’t see what rank his armband was but there was something about him that almost looked familiar.  Maybe he’d seen his holo in some of the old war records.   

“I don’t want excuses,” the First Order officer was huffing angrily.  “I want that door open!” 

“Yes sir, Admiral!” the young lieutenant working on the door responded.

Del and Ben exchanged looks before leaping into the fight.  It wasn’t their best move.   

Ben trained a lot.  He was stronger and faster now than he’d ever been before in his life but hours of fighting were beginning to take their toll.  He was just slightly slower to the uptake.  Besides, they were just two people against eight.  No, he corrected himself as Del fell to the ground, just one person against eight.  Two stormtroopers followed him down.  Six.  One person against six.  

Their training seemed decent enough but he was better.  A few of their shots grazed him but only made him stumble for a moment before he let the pain drive him onwards  There was no way in hell that Ben was going to let the First Order get through that door to Hux.  Motivation combined with adrenaline was turning out to be one hell of a drug.  

The last of the stormtroopers crumpled towards the ground and Ben pulled his lightsaber free, turning to face the junior officer who looked panicked.  “Step back from the--”

A direct hit to his shoulder from behind drove him to his knees.   _Kriff it all_.  He’d forgotten about the aging officer.  Another shot there made him drop his lightsaber as he fell forward.  The Admiral (Ben could see the rank bands now) kicked it out of his reach as he stepped towards him, blocking his view of the lieutenant and the door.  “You’re supposed to be on Coruscant.”

“Surprise,” Ben hissed angrily through gritted teeth.  A second later, a polished boot kicked him off balance and he fell the rest of the way to the floor, somehow managing to land on his injured shoulder.  Some help the Force was.

Barely conscious, Ben glanced across the room to see if he could spot where his lightsaber had been knocked before looking back up into the barrel of a blaster. The older man looked way too pleased about their present circumstances. “Your family’s caused this galaxy enough trouble, Solo. I’m doing it a service by taking you out of it.”

Steeling himself, Ben raised a hand to try and block the bolt when a new voice caught both of their attentions.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

~

Hux had been studying the battle projections so intently that he wasn’t even sure the last time he’d blinked.  

“That’s not going to help anything,” Kalin murmured quietly enough that no one else in the room could hear.

“I know,” he replied through gritted teeth.  “I just dislike this waiting game especially when there’s nothing we can do.”

She turned to look up at him, expression unreadable.  “We’re going to win, Hux.”

“I know,” he said again. “I’d just prefer if--” Out of the corner of his eye, a security camera image caught his attention.  “Go back!”

The confused ensign almost jumped out of her seat as he suddenly appeared beside her.  “Sir?”

“Go back to the previous camera view.”  She complied and Hux inhaled sharply.  He hadn’t been wrong.  “Ensign, track that First Order officer as he moves through the base.  Consider it a priority.”

Kalin frowned up at the grainy picture on the screen.  “Someone you know?”

“Yes,” Hux replied shortly, reaching down to reassure himself that his service blaster was still strapped securely to his thigh.  

“Colonel, based on his course, I think he’s headed this way!”

“Thank you, Ensign,” Hux responded steadily before raising his voice to address the entire room.  “I suggest that you all keep your weapons at the ready.  We may have to defend this position shortly.”

“Look,” Kalin said, pointing to another screen.  “It looks like Ben’s following him.  He was right about tracking that shuttle.”

“So it would seem.”

Her frown deepened even as she methodically checked the power levels on her own blaster.  “Who is that officer?”

“Admiral Brendol Hux,” he replied tersely.

It was so infrequently that he ever saw Kalin shocked.  “Your father?”

“Unfortunately.”  He was glad when she didn’t ask any other questions and merely remained by his side, intent on the security monitors.  

They watched as the First Order drew closer to their position.  Clearly the former Commandant remembered the layout of an Imperial base well.  For the most part, Hux kept his nerves in hand even as they drew closer to the heart of the building.  The Resistance techs had done good work with their door security protocols and even then, there was another door to crack before the First Order would reach them.  He even stayed mostly calm as he watched Ben arrive and take on his father’s stormtroopers, outnumbered though he was.

He lost all of that control when his father shot Ben.

“Hux!” Kalin exclaimed with concern, running after him to keep up as he headed for the door.

“I have to do _something_ ,” Hux hissed, blaster in hand.  He faltered only for a fraction of a second as he saw her reach for hers.  “No, I need you here.”  She hesitated.   “That’s an order, Werth.”

“Understood, Colonel,” she said reluctantly, taking a step back and towards the door controls.

There was no time for any further conversation.  Hux didn’t even have to think once he opened the second door and promptly shot the fumbling lieutenant.  There was no time for dithering when the man he hated most in the galaxy was pointing a blaster at the man he cared for the most.  Immediately, he shifted his aim towards his father and stepped forward.  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Hux said, voice as steady as if he was playing dejarik instead of pointing a blaster at someone he’d hoped to never see again.

Even though he’d been promoted to Admiral several years before he’d left, Hux still could only think of the aging man before him as the Commandant.  Slowly, his father turned to look at him, weapon still trained on Ben.  Immediately, anger turned into disgust.  "The traitor comes out of hiding at last."  

"Father."  

He sneered.  "You're no son of mine, Brendol.  You're not even worthy of carrying my name."  

Hux snorted derisively.  “Trust me, I don't want it.”

The corners of the older man’s mouth twitched downwards, betraying his barely concealed rage.  “I didn’t believe the reports from the New Republic at first.  They seemed ludicrous to be true even about my own traitorous son.  Parck relished any opportunity he had to rub the reports of my own flesh and blood serving in their pitiful military.  And then Alys slunk home, her fleet defeated by the Resistance.  Defeated by you!” He spat the last word out, completely disgusted.  

Forcing an overly casual tone, Hux asked, “Is she here?”

“Who?  Alys?” Their father shook his head.  “She couldn’t be trusted to face you again.  Three children and not one of you fit to command a Star Destroyer.  Pah!”

Torn between relief and anger, Hux’s free hand curled into a fist at the disdain in his father’s voice.  “She’s worth far more than you ever were.”

“High praise coming from a useless traitor.”

“Useless?”  It infuriated him that just speaking with his father could make him feel like he was sixteen again. “I beat you at Arkanis!”

“What?” his father asked, clearly thrown.

“Arkanis,” Hux repeated with more confidence in his voice.  “My New Republic ships beat yours there last year.  I’d hardly call that useless.”

“Pure luck!” the Commandant blustered, clearly unwilling to give any ground.  “That changes nothing.”

“I’m sure.  Have we chatted enough yet to satisfy protocol?” Hux asked, interjecting a note of boredom into his voice that he most certainly did not feel.

“I would say so.”

“Good.  Now drop your weapon.”

“I think not,” he scoffed.  “Drop yours.”  

"You seem to be oblivious to the situation here.  You've lost, Father.  The First Order has lost today.  Surrender and I might speak to Resistance leadership about sparing your life even though I hardly think you deserve it."  

The Commandant’s face slowly turned redder and redder as his anger levels increased.  "I survived the fall of the Empire and I will survive to see the First Order take its place!  How _dare_ you think that you can threaten me, boy."

Hux didn’t blink.  "Drop. Your. Weapon."

"I'd prefer to kill the son of Organa first."

"I won't ask a third time."

His father’s finger curled towards the trigger but Hux was faster.  He didn’t even have to think before he fired twice.  It was funny how spending a spare afternoon here and there at the target range had improved both his aim and reflexes so much.  Both shots hit the man square in the chest, mere centimeters apart, their aim true.  The man who had been Commandant Brendol Hux was dead before his body hit the ground.

Hux felt nothing.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, blaster still pointed as his father’s body.  Everything felt surreal.  It took a sound of pain from Ben to jolt him from the almost trance and immediately he ran forward, dropping to his knees beside him.  

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Ben murmured.

“Thought you could use a hand,” Hux replied shortly, his accent sounding more clipped than usual even to his ears.  “Can you stand?”

Ben winced as Hux helped him into a sitting position.  “Probably.”  He glanced around the room with a frown.  “Where’s my lightsaber?”

“We’ll find it later.  You need medical attention.”

“I need it to defend us,” Ben insisted stubbornly, finally catching sight of it as Hux helped ease him to his feet.  He extended a hand and the silver cylinder flew to him.

Hux shook his head even as he looped Ben’s good arm around his shoulders for support.  “It’s over for now.  You can fight another day.”

As they passed by his father’s body, Hux was very suddenly hit with the realization of how true his own words had been.

It was all over now.


	14. Chapter 14

Ben knew that he was lucky to be alive but that didn’t temper his exhilaration because Resistance had won. All of the time everyone had spent working on Operation Apate and all the times he’d dangled himself as bait for the First Order had paid off. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if he’d been able to stop Kyla Ren. Maybe he should try and trick Hux into coming up with plans more often.

Almost all of the Resistance seemed just as happy as he was about their victory.  He’d missed most of the initial celebrations thanks to being shoved into a bacta tank for a day but he could feel through the Force how excited the entire base was.  The only exception seemed to be Hux from whom Ben could feel almost nothing.  Well, there was that sense of satisfaction but nothing quite like what everyone else was feeling.  It was strange even for Hux but he hadn’t had a chance to talk to him in private about anything yet.  He’d been too busy dealing with all the aftermath of the Battle of Tieos.  In fact, the shuttle ride up to Tycho’s flagship for the trip back to D’Qar was the longest they’d had a chance to even be together since everything had happened.  If the flight back to the Resistance base had been any longer, Ben would have seriously considered kidnapping his boyfriend and finding an office or a conference room or something for them to take over but that was clearly going to have to wait.  Not that Hux seemed overly interested in doing anything that didn’t have to do with his datapad much less him.

“Ben!” Larissa exclaimed excitedly as Ben and Hux stepped onto the flagship’s conference room. “Good, you’re out of the bacta tank.”

“The Force is handy for healing,” Ben offered with a shrug and a grin even as another officer grabbed Hux to discuss something related to the mission.

“Yeah you’ve told me. Here!” She turned and gestured towards her droid behind her. “Esstoo, a--”

“Captain Celchu, I hope you’re not about to start drinking on my ship while we’re all on duty.” Tycho’s tone as he entered the room was stern but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

Sighing, Larissa turned to face her father and saluted. “No sir, General Buzzkill sir!”

Tycho returned the salute and then shook his head with amusement at his daughter.  “How did you end up as an XO again?”

“Nepotism probably. And I fly really really well,” she said with a straight face before stepping over and kissing him on the cheek.  “Come on, Dad.  You know there’s going to be a party back on base. What’s the harm in one drink before we get there?  Most of us aren’t actually on duty anyways.”

“I never should have let Janson babysit you and Cal during your formative years.”

“It’s moments like these when I’m glad my parents aren’t involved in the Resistance,” Kalin murmured to Ben, having snuck up at some point to stand beside him.

“I’ll trade you,” Ben said dryly, looking away from the bantering Celchus.

Kalin smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  Instead, she nodded towards a spot away from people. She waited until they were out of earshot before asking without any further preamble, “Is Hux doing all right?”

“You’re not even going to ask how I am first?” Ben asked, a little surprised by her abruptness. It wasn’t like her at all. “I did get shot.”

“Twice, I know.  I monitored your medical records while you were in the bacta tank and medbay.  You’ll be sore for another day but fine.”

“Not even a little bit of pity?”

“You get shot a lot, Ben.  I have to save it for special occasions.”  Her teasing tone vanished a moment later.  “Seriously though.  How’s Hux?”

“Fine?”  He was definitely confused.  “I mean he’s less excited about Apate working than I thought he’d be but he seems fine.  Why wouldn’t he be fine?”

Kalin’s brown eyes narrowed.  “Because of what happened?”  Ben could only look at her cluelessly.  “Wait.  You don’t know?  But you were there!”

“There for what?”

“When Hux shot his father.”

Ben felt his stomach drop and he swallowed hard.  “That was… I… I was only sort of conscious when Hux got there.  I don’t really… How do you know--how do you know that was his father?”

“He told me before going out there to try and help you,” she explained. “He hasn’t mentioned it at all?”

He shook his head.  “We haven’t gotten to talk much but he just acted like it was some random officer.”

Uncharacteristically, Kalin swore and Ben took half a step back in surprise.  “Sorry.  I’m just… I’m worried.”

“It’s just Hux being Hux,” Ben countered.  “He never wants to talk about anything especially when it has to do with his family.”

“I’ve known him a lot longer than you, Ben.  This isn’t normal even for him.  No one just shrugs off patricide even if they hated their father.”

“Maybe you should talk to him,” he suggested reluctantly.  “Like you said… you’ve known him for longer.”

“And he’s in love with you.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Ben looked away.  “He doesn’t--”

Kalin cut him off.  “Just because he doesn’t use the word doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it.  He just has his own way of showing it and--” She stopped abruptly, catching sight of someone heading towards them.  “Just kriffing talk to him, okay?” she hissed under her breath before smiling at the newcomer to their conversation.  “I’m surprised you already escaped from Captain Jacquen, Colonel,” she greeted him, speaking at a normal level again.  

“That man has the most overinflated sense of self-worth I have ever encountered,” Hux muttered.  “One would think he was responsible for winning at Tieos instead of General Celchu.  It’s of no consequence though.  We’ll be back on D’Qar shortly.”

“And then you can finally relax and have a drink or something,” Ben prompted him.  

“And then we can get to work with Liselle on the final report,” Hux corrected, giving him an odd look.  

Ben waved towards the rest of the room.  “Hux, come on.  Even Tycho’s taking a few minutes to celebrate.  No one’s going to be working back on base except for the sentries.”  Hux didn’t look convinced.  “Look, you can’t get out of being at the celebrations, okay?  You’re the reason all of this happened which means you have to be at the party.”

Hux glanced over at Kalin who shrugged helplessly in confirmation.  “He’s right, Hux.”

Resignedly, Hux sighed.  “Fine but don’t expect me to enjoy it.  Not when there’s work to be done.”

Maybe Kalin had been wrong, Ben thought to himself.  Hux seemed just like his usual self. No one else cared about their work quite as much.

~

Just as he had expected, Hux had not enjoyed himself during the festivities on D’Qar.  There was work to do but even Liselle had betrayed him and had told him that the report could wait before smiling and turning back to chat with her sister and some of the other pilots, a drink in hand.  He’d had one strong drink and escaped as soon as he could, slipping into the quiet corridors and away from the party.

Almost immediately, he regretted it.  The silence left him along with his thoughts. Or rather it left him alone with a lack of...something that he suspected he should be feeling. He didn't like it.

He was just about to start rummaging through his belongings for the bottle of whiskey he had stashed away when a knock on his door stopped him. Gritting his teeth, he steeled himself before opening it. “Ben!”

“Were you expecting someone else?” the Jedi asked cheekily, arms crossed and leaning against the frame.

“I wasn't expecting anyone,” Hux answered bluntly.  “Not with how freely the alcohol seems to be flowing in the party right now.”

“Dad’s probably making a killing too,” Ben said. “He gives the Resistance a good rate but pilots can _drink_.”

“I’ve noticed.”

There was a somewhat awkward silence between them before the Jedi asked, “Can I come in?”

“Oh.” Thrown, Hux stepped to one side so he could pass.  “Of course. How did you know which room was mine anyways?”

“I pay more attention than you think,” Ben replied wryly as the door shut behind him. “So why aren’t you at the party?”

Hux shrugged. “These sorts of things were never really much to my taste.”

“Yeah but it’s because of you!”

“There were plenty of people involved in this victory,” he corrected him. “Besides, I find any sort of celebration of this scale to be premature. The First Order is hardly beaten.”

“Mom would tell you it’s a morale thing but she’s at the party with Kalin and Liselle and Larissa and Myri and Tycho and Teravo and literally all of our other friends right now.”

“Why aren't you there then?”

“Because you aren't,” Ben said simply before pulling him close and kissing him.  Hux let him.  Leaned into it even. The benefits to being with Ben again were nice and not just because he didn’t feel so alone anymore. He’d missed this dearly when they’d been apart and it certainly gave his mind something to focus on now. When he’d originally come back to his quarters, the plan had been to sleep but now he could think of several far better uses for his bed. It didn’t take long for themselves to cross the short distance there, Ben pulling Hux down with him. Ben’s hands were everywhere, seemingly unwilling to let him go and Hux relished the feeling. “Hey,” Ben murmured into a kiss after a few minutes. “I need to ask you something.”

“What?” Hux asked distractedly, hands already busying themselves with the other man’s shirt.

“Why didn’t you tell me that was your father on Tieos?”

That was certainly enough to catch his attention. Hux sat up and shrugged casually as if this was a perfectly normal conversation to have while straddling someone. He wondered who’d been the one to tell him. Kalin. It had probably been Kalin. “I didn’t think it was important.”

Ben stared up at him, seemingly befuddled.  “How could it not be?”

“It’s hardly as if he and I shared a close relationship like you and your father,” Hux said dismissively, wanting to talk about anything but this.

“Dad and I aren’t really all that close.”

“You’re a fair bit closer than the Commandant and I ever were.”

“Hey.” Ben sat up abruptly, reaching to caress his cheek with one hand. “Just talk to me, okay? I know you didn’t like him but he was your father and you shot him and it was to save me and you’ve gotta feel--”

“I don’t,” Hux interrupted him.

Ben’s hand dropped.  “What?”

“It didn’t make me feel anything,” Hux expanded. “I’ve told you before that I hated the man. I just did what I had to.”

“How can you not feel anything?” he asked, clearly thrown.

“I just don’t,” Hux said with a shrug before leaning forward to kiss him again, wanting to move on.

Ben pulled away. “I’m just worried, okay?”

“Why? You _are_ the one who was shot.”

“Yeah but…” Ben sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I don’t want you to wake up hate me one day because you had to kill your father to save me.”

“That would _never_ happen,” Hux said emphatically, locking gazes with him. “I can assure you of that.”

Ben didn’t look away. “I love you.”

“I know,” Hux said, leaning forward and kissing the corner of his mouth. The words were so much more than the simple declaration. It was tempting to ignore the underlying meaning and surrender to how badly he wanted to just be in that moment. The blaster shots would have inevitably left behind new scars for him to kiss and yet… he couldn’t.  Not with the realization that had slowly been forming in his mind. Instead, Hux sat back a little, brushing a strand of hair back from Ben’s face as he slowly said, “It’s funny… with everything that happened… I didn’t even think twice. There was no choice to be made and now everything’s finally so clear.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It was you.  It was always going to be you.” Ben’s expression still showed nothing but confusion and Hux’s hands slid down to his chest as he bluntly said, "I killed my father for you, Ben. What further declaration of love do you need?"

“I… what?”

“Love, Ben,” he said firmly.  “I love you. It seems rather silly that it took something this drastic for me to finally realize it but there you have it.”

"I never wanted you to have to do something like this," Ben said, expression serious as he shifted his hands on Hux's hips.

"But I did," Hux said, hands trailing down his chest.  "And I'd do it again.”

“Hux.”  Ben swallowed hard.  “This isn’t--This wasn’t--”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

For once, Ben complied with an order, pulling him in for a hard kiss and back down to the bed, rolling them so that he was on top. “I want to hear you say it again,” he murmured, hands tugging at the older man’s pants.

“I--” Hux found himself stumbling over the still somewhat uncomfortable words. The kisses Ben was pressing to his now bare thighs were distracting to say the least. “I love you.”

Intensity flickered through his dark eyes at the words before that ridiculous lopsided smile appeared on Ben’s face again. “I love you too.”

And then Hux found it quite difficult to form words whatsoever.

~

It was open war now with the First Order. After such a heated battle with the Resistance, the New Republic’s Senate struggled to maintain their position that the First Order was no threat. Admiral Antilles was now more more openly able to funnel Republic ships to aid the Resistance. Hux had never understood why the famed Wedge Antilles had remained with the New Republic when his sympathies clearly lay with the Resistance and his expertise would have been more than welcome but it seemed to have its benefits.

Things between him and Ben felt different than they had before and he wasn’t entirely sure what the exact cause was. Too much had changed. It wasn’t necessarily different in a bad way just different. He didn’t like it when he couldn’t quite put a name to something.

There wasn’t much time to dwell on it though. As he’d expected, much of his time had been consumed with completing the final analysis report on Operation Apate. (Or at least it had been once everyone had recovered from their hangovers the next morning.) Unsurprisingly, Liselle had kept herself busy while they were all on Tieos and the bulk of the work was already completed with the exception of anything related to that final battle and their conclusions. That hardly stopped the occasional spirited discussion between Liselle, Kalin, and himself about some of the finer points the document made. 

“Any further changes?” Hux asked after they’d been working for nearly three days on the report. Both women shook their heads and Liselle silently handed him a datacard with the report in question. “Very well. I’ll take this to General Celchu then.”

“And then tomorrow we’ll have another assignment,” Kalin said with so much as cracking a smile, “since breaks are highly overrated in the military.”

Liselle shrugged. “They get boring after a day or two.”

“And what would any of us do with all that free time?” Hux asked, tucking the datacard into a pocket.

Kalin shook her head, finally cracking a smile. “Maybe we should have Ben around for these conversations more often. Otherwise none of us will ever relax for more than an hour.”

“From your lips to the General’s ear,” Hux muttered under his breath. “Take the rest of the day for yourselves. I’ll let you know if Tycho has any comments.”

“Good luck,” Kalin said with a smile before slipping from the room.

Hux waited for Liselle to do the same but instead she shook her head. “I’ll walk with you.”

He shrugged and gestured towards the door, waiting for her to go first. “Is this your version of a farewell before you take another field assignment?”

It was her turn to shrug as they strode through the corridors. “I haven’t decided yet. It depends on what assignments Cracken offers me.”

“I would imagine that there aren’t many people in Intelligence who are given a choice about their assignments.”

“Probably not.”

It was nice, Hux reflected, to have a friendship with someone who also saw the value in not spelling every last thing out. They were a few meters away from Tycho’s office when Liselle came to a sudden halt and Hux had to take one step backwards to stand even with her. “Was there something else before I speak to Tycho?”

“Not in regards to the report.” Her expression was neutral as she raised an eyebrow at him. “Is everything okay, Hux?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he countered.

“It’s a perfectly reasonable question to be asking given recent events but perhaps I’m just using logic.”

“Well don’t,” he said acidly.

Liselle merely shrugged as she started walking backwards. “You know where to find me if you decide you need to hit something.”

He watched her retreating back for a moment before shaking his head to clear it and stepping forward to rap smartly on Tycho’s door, waiting for a word from the general before opening it and stepping inside. Hux saluted sharply before handing Tycho the datacard.  “I have the full report on Operation Apate for you, sir.”

“That was faster than expected,” the Alderaanian said as he accepted it.

“I have a good team, sir.  Specialist Afyon made excellent use of her time while we were on Tieos. We’re all happy to answer any questions about the report that you might have.”

“I’ll review this later although I expect it's nothing but extremely thorough given the source,” Tycho said, setting it to the side. “Why don’t you take a seat, Hux?”

Hux complied, brow furrowing. “Do I have a new set of orders already, General?”

He shook his head. “No, this is nothing of the sort. I wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine, sir,” he answered reflexively. “Satisfied that Operation Apate can be counted as a success.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Tycho’s tone remained even. “I’m aware of what happened on the ground on Tieos.”

“Yes sir, I made note of it in my battle report as required but I fail to see the relevance.”

“Being the person to end your father’s life can't have been easy.”

He didn't even have to try to keep his expression neutral. “It was merely a decision, General: the Commandant’s life or Ben’s. I’m comfortable with the one I made.”

“And I certainly don't mean to suggest otherwise.”

“Then forgive my bluntness but why is this a topic for discussion?”

“Because I’m concerned about your mental well-being,” Tycho said, matching his bluntness with like.

Hux shook his head. “There’s no need. I’m perfectly fine.”

Tycho sighed. “That’s what worries me, son, and frankly, it’s worried several others.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What others?”

“That’s not important.”

“I believe it is.”

“We’ve spoken before about how emotions aren't a weakness,” the older man said, ignoring his comment completely. “I thought that after everything with your sister earlier this year that the message had been received. Clearly I was wrong.”

“This is ridiculous,” Hux protested.  “It’s hardly a secret that I hated the man. I defected because of him. He was my father only because of blood. Why would I give a damn that he’s dead? I’ve wanted that since I was a child.”

“So you’re happy that he’s dead then?”

“I couldn’t give less of a damn. Sir.”

“Hence why this is a matter of concern.”

Completely thrown by how awry a simple report delivery had gone, Hux didn't know how to react. “I don’t understand why my lack of emotion over Commandant Hux’s death is an issue. Would the Resistance prefer that I was distraught with guilt or perhaps over the moon with glee?”

“Quite frankly, yes. Based upon your psychological profile, either would be preferable right now.”

Hux blinked. “My what?”

“Psychological profile,” Tycho repeated. “And no, you’re not the only one in the Resistance who has one.” Still flabbergasted, Hux couldn't form a response and Tycho pushed onwards. “You asked about your next orders before. There won't be any until we’re satisfied that you’re mentally fit for duty.”

“Fit for…” He trailed off, growing more and more shocked by the minute. “The Resistance is declaring me unfit for duty?”

“Yes.”

“Because I’m not getting emotional over killing the Commandant.”

“Yes.”

Something inside of him snapped and Hux was on his feet before he could stop himself, voice raised almost to the point of yelling. “I have given everything for the Resistance--to stop the First Order! I took your unauthorized mission to track them down. I resigned my commission to continue that hunt. I have done everything ever asked of me by this Resistance, by you, by General Kriffing Organa! There wouldn’t have even _been_ a victory over Tieos if it hadn’t been for me and in return, I’m declared unfit for kriffing duty because I don’t meet your damned standards for how someone should react to patricide!”

Silence hung between them after Hux’s emotional outburst. He couldn’t move; only stand there staring at the general and not know what to do next. After what felt like ages, Tycho cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “Take a seat, son,” he said calmly. Hux didn’t move and he narrowed his eyes. “Take. A. Seat.” For a moment, Hux hesitated but there was something in Tycho’s expression that made him comply.   
  
"You’re going to sit down with Chak Marginy," Tycho said conversationally as if Hux hadn’t just been shouting at him.   
  
Hux frowned. "Chak Marginy? In Intelligence?"   
  
"Doctor Marginy actually. His background and training are in psychology. Cracken recruited him for his profiling team when he joined the Resistance. He knows what he's doing and he's worked with several other officers on base."   
  
"This is unnecessary, General."   
  
Both of Tycho's eyebrows shot up. "Given what just occurred here, I could not disagree more."   
  
"It was a momentary lapse in judgement, sir," Hux said even as the nervous feeling began growing in the pit of his stomach again. "It won't happen again."   
  
"It wasn't just the outburst, Hux. I’ve known you too long to judge you purely on that. It's everything I mentioned before. I’ve told you in the past that we encourage people to have emotions and hearts in this part of the galaxy and it’s concerning that you’re treating your father’s death just like you would the death of any other First Order officer."

Through gritted teeth, Hux replied, “I can’t afford to do otherwise.”

“That’s not the case today,” Tycho said calmly. “Sit down with Chak sooner rather than later. I’ve seen soldiers try and handle their emotions like this before and it never ends well. You’re removed from active duty with the Resistance until such time that Dr. Marginy indicates to me that he believes you are fit for duty again.” His tone softened. “This isn’t a punishment, son.”

Hux didn’t believe him for a moment but said nothing. Instead, he clenched his jaw and counted backwards from ten before replying. “Was there anything else, sir?”

Tycho’s brow furrowed ever so slightly and he sighed. “No, that will be all.”

He rose to his feet, spine straight as a rod and saluted. “Permission to be dismissed, General?”

The Alderaanian stood up too and returned the salute. “Dismissed, Colonel.”

Hux didn’t bother wasting any time with pleasantries and marched right out the door. He knew that Tycho would have preferred that he go find this Chak Marginy right away but at that particular moment, he was disinclined to do anything that Tycho wanted. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. It was worse than everything he’d felt when he’d resigned his commission with the New Republic and he didn’t know what to do. By instinct, his feet carried him towards the base’s fitness center. Ben had mentioned earlier that he’d planned to spend most of the day there and right now, his boyfriend was the only thing in the entire damn galaxy that made sense anymore.  
  
Thankfully, the Jedi Knight was there, running through some lightsaber drills with that looked to be a stick and a man that he recognized as Tycho’s son, Calik. Calik caught sight of Hux first and promptly dropped his makeshift weapon and directly Ben’s attention towards Hux. Immediately, Ben excused himself and covered the distance between them with a handful of long strides, a smile on this face that became a look of concern almost immediately. “What's wrong?”   
  
"General Celchu just removed me from duty indefinitely," Hux said woodenly, still not entirely sure how all of this had happened. "And I suspect that you had something to do with it."   
  
"I'm not military. How would I--" he stopped abruptly, apparently catching on to Hux's disbelief. "Look, I was worried, okay? And I wasn't the only one."   
  
"Kalin, I'm sure."   
  
"Yeah and Tycho was already concerned before we talked to him."   
  
"Your concern was unwarranted. I'm fine. I _was_ fine."   
  
Biting his lip, Ben hesitated only for a moment before grabbing Hux's hand and pulling him out of room and down a corridor where far fewer people were likely to listen in or walk by. He didn't release his hand, pulling him somewhat close as they stepped to one side of the hallway. In the back of his mind, Hux appreciated that Ben made sure it was his own back to the wall so that Hux wouldn't feel trapped. "Talk to me."   
  
"What's the point?" Hux asked bitterly. "Talking won't change anything."   
  
"But it might help." Hux didn't reply and Ben squeezed his hand in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring manner but instead only made him pull his hand free. "Just tell me what happened."   
  
Hux folded his arms across his chest. "Exactly what I told you. Tycho's declared me unfit for duty. I'm grounded, metaphorically speaking." He couldn't suppress the bitter laugh that escaped him. "I kill him and that Commandant still manages to make my life a living hell."   
  
"It's going to be okay. Hey." Ben took his face between his hands, forcing Hux to look at him. "You’re going to get through this. You still have me. You always have me."   
  
"That wasn't true a month ago."   
  
"Well it's true now," Ben insisted. "All of this... all of this won't matter in the long run."   
  
"How can it not? I'm nothing now, Ben," he said, voice cracking.   
  
"That's not true!"   
  
Hux shook his head, words tumbling from his lips. "Everything... my entire life is built around being a good military officer and now I’m not. I’m nothing. A soldier who isn’t a soldier anymore isn't much use to anyone."   
  
"You sound like you did when you resigned your commission."   
  
"Yes and the Resistance was kind enough to swoop in and give me something else to fight for. There's no one left to do that. I don't know what I am now."   
  
Ben said firmly, "You’re not just whatever rank they’ve put on your chest. You're you. You're Brendol Hux--don't look at me like that for using your name--and you're one of the smartest and most infuriating people I know and it's part of why I love you so much. You've beaten the First Order more than anyone else. All this is just temporary and you're going to beat it too." Hux looked away, uncomfortable under all of the declarations. "I mean it, Hux."   
  
"I know," Hux said, steeling himself for the lie he was about to tell. "You're right. I'm more than my rank."   
  
"Good," Ben said, seemingly satisfied.   
  
Even as Ben leaned forward and kissed him, Hux couldn't shake the feeling that he was wrong and none of this was going to be okay in the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. And that's that. (Even if this last chapter gave me a hell of a lot of trouble. Shout out to my friend Ri for helping talk me through it.)
> 
> There's going to be one more long story in this 'verse but I'm not sure when I'll start publishing it yet. One of the troubles I ran into with this fic is that I didn't outline nearly as well as I should have before I started and I want to make sure I don't repeat that mistake again. In the mean time, you can expect to see a one-shot set in this universe at some point starring Kalin. Hopefully that'll help tide you all over.
> 
> Thank you so much to all of you wonderful readers and a double thank you to everyone who has ever commented. Getting those email notifications totally make my day! I can only hope you're continuing to enjoy reading this little alternate universe that spiraled into way too many words. Feel free to come chat with me on tumblr (chaosbria) any time!


End file.
